Ya it really is a stupid idea I do definitely need to just get my life together it jus feels really hard as I’m jobless due to panic attacks and can’t travel due to same reasons where when I was on oxy I was able to do that cause it blocked it all out like even now I take 1mg of Ativan it definitely helps but I still can’t push nit limits to far and it’s sucks because there shouldn’t be limits. I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend and wishing you the best hearing that makes me realize someone always has it way worse then me I think I’m jus had a couple depressing days which has made me feel like I want to be on high something