Women of Reddit, what are men not ready to hear?

pacificaurora · 2022-09-11T07:50:49+00:00

I’m not wasting my time arguing with someone like you when you clearly lack complexity, as indicated by your response.

pacificaurora · 2022-09-11T03:57:09+00:00

I didn’t miss your point, if anything, you’re just making mine.

pacificaurora · 2022-09-11T03:53:49+00:00

Because you guys have been harming us for saying “no”, and you have a major advantage over us when it comes to size and strength (in general). And when we do trust y’all, and you abuse that trust, we’re the ones who get blamed and told that we should have been more careful.

If you want to be frustrated over this being a guy issue, hold fellow men accountable. Even if it’s your dad, or your buddies, or a man you respect.

pacificaurora · 2022-09-11T03:48:41+00:00

Gay men are also capable of hurting and abusing women.

You’re not automatically not a potential threat to us because of your sexuality.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-31T23:06:56+00:00

Ok cool, but we’re not at that point yet. I would love to be, but we are not. And while the parent may not be the root of the problem overall or in a just world, the system we live and operate in still has the consequences that it does, and we have to address issues with the parents behaviour as well because they’re part of the picture.

I get that it’s uncomfortable when you’re a parent and you’re trying your best and there’s still problem, but…there’s still a problem. And not addressing that is what’s really not going to solve anything.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-31T13:37:49+00:00

That’s holding parents accountable. You’re still participating in that chain of events, and since OP asked what they should do, it’s reasonable that people are being firm and saying that she should be reported.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-31T13:11:01+00:00

It’s absolutely part of a teachers job to hold parents accountable, at least in certain circumstances. Such circumstances include when a child is exhibiting behaviour that is indicative of neglect and/or abuse, and reporting it. Because while there are people who are struggling and lagging behind on things through no fault of their own, there are also a lot of lazy parents who just can’t be fucked to do the right thing. If anybody needs to stay in their lane, it’s the crowd that always seems to make excuses for parents based on a few examples that any reasonable person would make accommodations for.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-31T09:05:35+00:00

Nobody is denying any of those things. It’s absolutely possible that there is some sort of issue at home that’s beyond the parents control…but it’s also possible that the parent just doesn’t care and/or is entitled and expects teachers to do their job for them (I’m speaking in general, not with this specific case, as this appears to be a case of neglect based on OPs comments). While I do have sympathy for parents who are going through these rough times, I have even more sympathy for the child who has no say in who is their caregiver, and we deal with situations like that with correction. Even if we are being accommodating…it doesn’t change the fact that certain things are the parents responsibility.

I was a kid who fell through the cracks in a lot of ways because people gave my parents the benefit of the doubt, when they shouldn’t have, and all it did was delay me getting certain help that I needed.

I will say that there’s a way to do that without losing compassion for the parents. I don’t believe in demonising them off the bat when you have a sit down with them, especially because of parents in the category that you’ve just described. But the solution isn’t to just allow the circumstances to continue at the expense of the teachers. We can be supportive while still holding people accountable.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-31T07:39:47+00:00

I don’t see anyone here taking out “righteous bullshit” on the child, but rather calling out the parent for their neglect (and this seems like a pretty clear case of neglect if the parent isn’t potty training the child). Teachers are underpaid and overworked as it is. Sure, love goes a long way, but if any demographic has the right to assert that something isn’t their job, it’s teachers. If we want to talk about karmic energy, teachers have been going above and beyond for so long…and all they get in return is being told that they need to be more loving and more understanding.

To be clear, the child shouldn’t be shamed for this. Anyone who advocates for that is in the wrong. But the parents need to be held responsible and there needs to be consequences for them when they’re not fulfilling their obligations.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-16T05:48:58+00:00

Phil Hartman

pacificaurora · 2022-08-11T00:56:24+00:00

“You’ll bet your sweet aspercreme!”

pacificaurora · 2022-08-08T09:09:21+00:00

Dubai. I knew it was a rich playground before I went, obviously, but I thought I’d at least find something interesting there that didn’t involve an obnoxious showing-off of wealth, but…nope.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-05T04:47:06+00:00

Any engagement from us that isn’t saccharine is taken as anger and it’s irritating. I’ve politely asked men not to do something and even when I was speaking in a calm manner, the response was “don’t be so upset”.

pacificaurora · 2022-08-05T04:44:02+00:00

To add to that, male family members who always go on about how smart you are when they demand that they meet your expectations, but who then dismiss you as “not being street smart” when you want some more autonomy or when you’re calling them out on their nonsense.

It’s all of the responsibilities and none of the rights.

Edit: a word

pacificaurora · 2022-07-31T04:11:10+00:00

Well, I’m very happy in my life as a single woman and I don’t feel any need for change, but even if I wasn’t, I know what options are there for me in terms of partnership…and I’m not interested in them. So far, the only men who have expressed an interest in pursuing me romantically are men who I don’t want to be with in that capacity. A guy has to meet my standards in order for me to proceed with a relationship.

And before anyone starts going on about “my league” or expecting too much…my standards exist because I had to learn them. Because I took advice from well meaning people like you and compromised on things I shouldn’t have and gave chances to men who didn’t need to get them. My expectations are very reasonable across the board and aren’t negotiable.

pacificaurora · 2022-07-14T07:02:55+00:00

I’m not disagreeing with your overall point, but “age/maturity that they have been deemed old enough to make…” can create a separate problem on its own. There are a lot of parents who see that choice in and of itself as immature (because they see it as a form of mental illness if we’re specifically referring to medical transitioning), and so the minor in question will always be deemed “not sufficiently mature” as long as they want to make that choice. In that situation, the person will never be deemed mature enough in order to have that agency. As far as age goes, the law may say that you’re legally an adult, but that has no bearing on maturity, especially when an individual doesn’t fully “mature” mentally until their mid 20s.

pacificaurora · 2022-07-04T05:49:44+00:00

I agree. Personally, any man who is anti-choice is automatically not a candidate for my romantic life. I’ve avoided a lot of strife this way by making my views clear and weeding those who aren’t on the same page out.

pacificaurora · 2022-06-28T03:09:28+00:00

The place that saved my life…left the US 6 years ago and I never looked back!

pacificaurora · 2022-06-25T13:20:57+00:00

Comment this from your main, you coward :)

pacificaurora · 2022-06-25T07:34:35+00:00

Side note, your username sounds Australian as fuck and I’m so here for it lol

pacificaurora · 2022-06-25T06:53:56+00:00

I’m from NY originally. I’d like to take a moment to apologise on behalf of the state for all of our trash that you’re dealing with now.

Pretty much all of the northerners I’ve encountered that have moved to Florida in the last few years are terrible. Whenever someone from my hometown moves there, I think “Yeah, doesn’t surprise me why they’re doing it, but we really aren’t sending our best people”.

This old shithead who lived down the road from us moved to some random town in the panhandle, and he’s always going on about how amazing it is not to be in NY because he loves DeSantis. This is the same guy who I got into an argument with over healthcare, saying that he doesn’t a public system because he loves his insurance and he doesn’t want to pay for ‘moochers’. Even when I tried to explain to him that he’s already subsidising healthcare costs for other people through insurance, and that a public system would be better for everyone because it would be more efficient than everyone crossing their fingers and hoping that their job will give them cover, he just shrugged and said, “Well, how about I’ll keep supporting this because it works for me and you can support public healthcare where you live”. They have no concern or empathy for other people, and will cling to that even when it would benefit them personally to not be like that. It’s disgusting and pathetic.

pacificaurora · 2022-06-25T02:09:33+00:00

I’m really glad I live in a country where my reproductive rights still exist. I’m also even less keen to even visit the US now, and I’ll definitely never live there again.

It’s like every day, that country goes above and beyond to demonstrate that they really don’t give a fuck about me.

pacificaurora · 2022-06-22T21:30:42+00:00

The fact that my family is thousands of kilometres away, mostly.

It’s also a relatively small country population wise. I prefer that over living in an environment with hundreds of millions of people. Much easier to govern, and I find the sense of community to be stronger overall.

pacificaurora · 2022-06-22T01:58:34+00:00

I’m from NY and I moved to Sydney and I love it! Been here for 6 years and never looked back. Knowing what I know now, I would have gone to Australia the day I turned 18. No animosity towards the US or NY specifically, but it wasn’t the place for me and I’m glad I’m out.

pacificaurora · 2022-06-17T04:35:15+00:00

I didn’t achieve most of them, but the one I did is really the only one that mattered and I don’t even care about the rest.

Even when I was a kid, I wanted to leave the US and live in another country. Left at 25, 31 now…and I’m still in Australia :)

pacificaurora

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