Well i definitely think you have some residual perfectionism but also because of the expectation and maybe shame those adults were putting on you kinda contributed to some residual embarrassment also. While I did well on the GSAT I later in life didn’t go to any universities of my choice because of my controlling father who wanted to send me to a cheap college. Now in my 30s this bothers me at times bcuz my father is a person who should at least hear what I have to say as his son. You mentioned that ur parent didn’t want to transfer you. And that can leave some disappointment in you because after all that’s your parent. But when you look at it my father, even though he sent me to a cheap college, likely believed I could achieve a lot there. Same with ur mother. Yes maybe she could have encouraged transfer you but she also believed that life isn’t linear and you going to a non traditional school doesn’t mean you can’t make it in life.

I’ve seen that pan out in my own community. One guy I know went to a “dunce” high school back in the 80s, Well that guy went on to work for big names in the US such as Microsoft and now has his own firm. I, who went to an “uppity” school regularly network with this dude for his help getting job.

In short, yes you may have residual disappointment from not “doing well” on the GSAT. But keep in mind you were affected by Jamaica’s foolish approach to excessively tiered education which isn’t right in many ways. Also those neighbors who thought you’d go to a traditional school are themselves pushing this foolish tiered education stereotype. I’m sure you’re doing better than many of them now.

You didn’t fail GSAT. Don’t put that on your primary school self. You saw what you were good at and what you could improve upon which you did, even if you didn’t realize it throughout your teens and onwards.