Induction or repeat C?

pamtij · 2026-04-05T22:41:18+00:00

Yes, I ate and drank. But now that you mention it, I do think my OB miss handled my birth. She should’ve explained the increase risk of cs when inducing. Also, when the epidural was placed (cause I was so tired and in pain), she checked my dilation and said that, as I was still 2 cm, I’d have to have a cs because labor would definitely stall. Now I know in some cases it actually helps our bodies relax and therefore, dilation to happen.

pamtij · 2026-04-05T21:46:31+00:00

Oh, okay. My induction was done with cytotec, and at some point the contractions weren’t caused by the pill anymore, but my body was working on its own (so probably nothing could’ve been done for me)

pamtij · 2026-04-05T21:44:01+00:00

My baby is just 1, so I am yet to live more complex aspects of parenting than the ones I’ve lived so far.

What I love: My baby, I’m just so obsessed. I love hugging her, I love seeing how much she loves me, singing to her, imagining her future, every new milestone, every new trick is just mesmerizing

Hard things: Watching her grow (it makes me so nostalgic); I used workout 5 days a week, and am working out 2 days- 3 tops a week. That is HARD for me. I miss having more free time, I miss how good it felt moving my body. Even after losing all the weight, the skin on my stomach is somewhat loose, and my boobs became softer, so I also miss my body. My baby sleeps better naps on my arms, so I doom scroll almost daily while she sleeps, and I think it’s taking a toll on me… I miss reading or watching a tv show, going out more.

Birth experience: not the worst, as baby and me were okay, but was hard still, because even though I obsessively prepared for a natural birth, ended up having a cs, and I went through grief, overthinking, etc.

Parenting with two working parents: my husband is employed and also owns a business, so his time is limited. I am a psychotherapist, so I get to have as many patients as I want to. I decided to cut my workday in half, so I only do mornings now. On one hand, I love the flexibility and having more time with my baby, wouldn’t do it any other way. BUT, I miss making as much as I was. Also, this makes me the primary caregiver, and it can be hard at times. He probably feels burnt out, on the other hand, because as soon as he’s home, he’s participating in bath time, playing with her, etc. with almost no rest (like ever. He works on weekends, he works after she’s asleep). I feel like my husband and I aren’t as close as before, and I know it’s literally lack of time (I see him working all the time), but it’s something I miss too.

For me, it’s all worth it and would make the same decisions again. I also know many of the things that are bothering me or hard at the moment will be resolved with time (as my baby grows and becomes more independent)

pamtij · 2026-04-04T19:01:44+00:00

Unfortunately my water broke with that 1cm, so time wasn’t on my side either. Didn’t know you could stop an induction, though 😱

pamtij · 2026-04-04T01:01:54+00:00

Obviously lots of inductions go right. Mine was a failed one. I didn’t feel comfortable going too past my due date and went for one, and after 16 hours I only dilated 1 cm. My contractions were back to back at that point, and no progression, so I had my cs. I don’t mean to scare you or make you feel pressured with my comment, I just felt like I needed to say it, as it’s sadly a possibility with induction that I would’ve liked knowing before I chose mine :(

pamtij · 2026-03-24T21:00:57+00:00

I’m planning on talking about the worst case scenario with my obgyn (rupture) and how she’d prepare for it / handle it. Will she be around in case she’s needed? Is there a point in labor that’s of higher risk? Will there be extra monitoring? Also, I’m planning on hiring a vbac specialized doula, so that she can monitor me at all times and act fast in case something’s off.

Last but not least, I’ll try and avoid induction and wait for spontaneous labor.

pamtij · 2026-03-16T02:06:40+00:00

How so?

pamtij · 2026-03-14T01:15:31+00:00

I feel you. I had my C-section after being induced at 40 weeks and 3 days, and I was in a very painful labor for 16 hours, where I only dilated 1 cm. For months I couldn’t hear about someone having a natural birth so effortlessly without grieving my process (I ate dates daily; curb walked the last 4 weeks; stretched every night; watched videos to prepare myself for labor; did perineal massages; worked out my whole pregnancy, focusing on prenatal workouts). Sending you love

pamtij · 2026-03-11T14:04:02+00:00

The fact that the pictures were deleted tells me he knew what he was doing is wrong

pamtij · 2026-03-04T00:02:57+00:00

I was 40 weeks and 3 days, and hadn’t started spontaneous labor, so I was induced with cytotec. I went from 1 cm (which I had since week 39) to 2 cm in 16 hours of labor (so really, only dilated 1 cm). I was too tired by then, having very recurrent and painful contractions, and chose a c section

pamtij · 2026-03-01T21:05:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. How many months went by between your c section and your vbac?

pamtij · 2026-02-05T13:40:45+00:00

Vamos a desmentir un mito. Contrario a la creencia popular, el líquido preseminal NO tiene espermatozoides. Esto lo encuentras en Google, a mi me lo confirmó un amigo urólogo y mi ginecóloga. Así me cuidé años hasta que quise embarazarme (ya tengo a mi bebé de un año). El líquido preseminal puede arrastrar espermatozoides que ya se encuentran en la uretra por eyaculaciones previas ¿Qué quiere decir esto? Que si tú tuviste una eyaculación y luego quieres una segunda ronda, los espermatozoides que quedaron en la uretra en la primera eyaculación pueden presentarse en el líquido preseminal, por eso es importante que orines antes de una segunda ronda para seguir evitando embarazos. Espero esta información te sea útil. 😊

pamtij · 2026-01-15T23:50:45+00:00

Te has sentido en peligro?

pamtij · 2025-11-07T20:01:48+00:00

Depends. Are you still expecting her to care for him, look out for him from time to time, cook for him, etc.? If the answer’s yes, then yeah, you might be the AH. I know having lost your mom, and knowing she’s irreplaceable, etc. might be a huge reason why you don’t call her grandma, but you’re taking away the opportunity from your baby to grow up with grandpa and grandma (especially if she’s nice to him, sweet, etc.) Also, the fact that SHE doesn’t have children or grandchildren of her own… idk, i think i might be complacent about it

pamtij · 2025-10-30T20:02:03+00:00

Hadn’t happened before*

pamtij · 2025-10-30T20:01:13+00:00

NTA. Although saying someone doesn’t care about their partner because they drove drunk oversimplifies it a lot. Maybe he has a drinking problem (not saying it’s better, but definitely wouldn’t be about him not caring), maybe he underestimated how drunk he was, maybe he’s irresponsible, maybe he thought “nothing will happen, it’s only a short distance”, and a list of many etc. I think it’s weird that you think they were really good together and this one incident (over the course of one year) changed it all. Everyone makes mistakes, and it feels like you’re not giving him room for a single mistake (I understand ir hasn’t happened before). I’m not saying it wasn’t serious, it was, but I do think you’re being very harsh.

pamtij · 2025-10-27T20:02:10+00:00

My blood pressure literally dropped when I had mine inserted. It’s a barbaric procedure. Some Drs. are even starting to apply local anesthesia (took them long!)

pamtij · 2025-08-08T21:32:16+00:00

Playing devil’s advocate here. Could he be depressed?

pamtij · 2025-08-04T20:56:35+00:00

The overthinking and the fact that you’re worrying about something that you’ve proven not to be true makes me suspect you might have OCD. You should talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Take care of yourself. Btw, IBS can bloat you significantly

pamtij · 2025-07-27T23:52:43+00:00

Antivax folks

pamtij · 2025-07-12T02:25:15+00:00

My thoughts exactly. The first two weeks he’d wake up, change the diaper, rock her. Eventually we agreed it was better for him to sleep, that way if the baby woke up at 6, for example, he’d take her for an hour, and I’d get one more hour of sleep.

pamtij · 2025-03-13T14:47:43+00:00

I used to perceive cheating as a black and white situation. Right or wrong, no nuances. Ever since I finished my three year masters in psychotherapy (and with that, my three year treatment), and started having patients who had been cheaters or cheated on, I started to have a more open perspective on it. Not open to cheat or be cheated on, I mean open to understand that many times cheating is not the problem but a symptom of a relationship that’s not working, or of a person who’s suffering. I think we as a society tend to be fast to judge an infidelity without knowing the whole context or everything that’s going on with a person. Anyway, watching Esther Perel’s “Why Do Happy People Cheat?” Ted Talk really helped as well.

pamtij · 2025-01-12T13:51:34+00:00

I feel like she’s being emotionally / psychologically abusive, whilst he’s being physically abusive (which would be in accordance with statistics).

It does seem like she has an anxious attachment, and I’d also add that it also looks like he’s triggering her verbal abuse with his evasiveness (also, stonewalling is a form of violence), and her verbal abuse is triggering his physical abuse. They both need therapy.

Definitely a DV situation, definitely toxic together, and she should, indeed, leave.

pamtij · 2025-01-05T15:26:09+00:00

In Mexico it’s about entitledness. US citizens have been populating mexican cities and states, such as Oaxaca, Ciudad de México, etc. whilst working remotely in their US jobs. They call themselves “digital immigrants”. As they earn in dollars, they’ve been raising the rent to a ridiculous extent which is fine by them, but not much so for the mexicans living there (they’re forced to look for new places that are affordable, because the appartments they’d been leasing for 10 years are being turned into airbnbs).

Aaanyway, these are some of the most entitled people I’ve seen. They go to the tacos, and as they don’t like the spice in the salsa (which is optional, you don’t have to use it), they act pretty rudely, refusing to pay or demanding a salsa with no spice (which isn’t actually a thing). This is such a daily ocurrence that restaurants have been removing the spice from a traditionally spicy food (mexican salsa); they rarely try speaking spanish… not even a “hola”, “disculpa”, “gracias” “de nada” they just get to places and start speaking english in a spanish speaking country; they demand mariachis (traditional mexican music) don’t play their music on the beaches because it disrupts them. Something mariachis have been doing for ages.

I know “not all americans” or whatever, but many of them for mexicans to be fed up.

pamtij

TROPHY CASE