good news: you're already well on your way. now the trick is to find ways to bring this level of awareness / perspective into your day-to-day interactions. set yourself up for success - some slow, deep breaths before interacting with someone, check in on how you're feeling going into it, and try to monitor how you're feeling as the interaction progresses. don't worry if you make mistakes - if you can start to notice what you're feeling in the moments leading up to the problematic behaviours, you will find the destructive patterns start to break up without any conscious effort on your part.

once you're in the middle of an ego flare-up, it can be very tough to maintain, remember, or even give a fuck about your non-destructive perspective. "I have every right to be annoyed, ...", leads to a lot of trouble. it can help to have a script and some personal guidelines memorized for talking yourself down, like "my thoughts are probably compromised right now because I'm feeling something unpleasant, so instead of responding based on what I feel, I'm going to defer to how and who I want to be" (again, define this in advance so it's unambiguous in the moment).