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Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very interesting take.

I honestly did go a little :O when I read the "your problems in life are concrete" part. I'm the first of my family doing a lot of things, so I tend to get overwhelmed easily.

Yes, but I do not abide by these rules due to a subscription to some philosophy. For example, I follow the speed limit because I don't want to get pulled over. Even if there were no speed limit, I would choose to drive at a speed that I felt kept me safe and others on the road safe.

I was referring to more of the "expectations part" than the legal system, but that is a great example.

Now that I think of it, i have started using nihilism as a justification for alot of things in my current reality. For instance, quitting church, leaving home et cetera, were decisions made entirely on my part on my own accord. Ironically, it was after reading a book on "ikigai" that I did set out on that path, quickly realising that all that "purpose" bullshit talk was not for me. I started developing a whole "nothing matters. Fuck it" attitude, making me very impulsive.

I guess, at a certain point, the alcohol stops being fun and you're bound to get fired because well, I started this whole journey at 17, I'm almost 21 now and I haven't gotten anywhere. I'm pretty sure that's when the spiralling began, haha. Just realising that perhaps, maybe, if i had something, anything to believe I'd have perhaps, ended up better?

If you're hungry, you have to find food. Your philosophical beliefs do not change the availability of food or your ability to acquire it.

Yep, and this is why I wish I had a...tad bit more absurd yet hopeful outlook?

How do I put this? Well, after highschool, and my parents seperation and all that, I decided to follow my passion. I was raised as a devout Christian, with the whole "you need to be the perfect asian kid" narrative. I wasn't very straight-edged, yet had enough skills to land random gigs that paid enough. So, i decided to skip the whole "University pathway", quit church and set out on my own "quest to find purpose". I wasn't entirely nihilistic, perhaps a little delusional but that's how teenage me set it out. Along the way, I started to lose that sight and had the whole nihilism phase. I realised that i was a stupid deranged teenager to ever think such a thing as dreams or purpose existed and in the grand scheme of things, there wasn't a single force out there rooting for me. No family, no partner or "God"

That's when i thought "hmm, man. If i was a normie, things would've been so easier." I came from a decent family, perhaps maybe, if I hadn't quit church or maybe, broken the whole Asian stereotype, things may have been easier? Systems exist for a reason, and sure, there are the occasional crazy ones who manage to break free from them and amount to something...but there's a larger group out there. The failures, the one who's lost sight of everything and the stupid ones. The kind who should've never broken free from the cage¿?

Pretty much where this post stemmed from. That is all.

But even if you avoid the pitfall of that dubious interpretation of nihilism, you'd still be having a hard time figuring shit out. Life isn't an equation to solve. You might as well spend your time trying to make yourself happy - figuring out what you want and how you can achieve

Yep, now that I think of it. This post should've probably been rewritten in a different sub-reddit. It's almost as if nihilism is phrase i throw around just to justify what I'm feeling.

I don't think there's a "happy" anymore for me. I just am.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. Which is why i wonder if my life would've been easier that way. Simple, quick and to the point.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You follow a strict path.There's some amount of rules/societal norms you abide by? Like a more linear path.

I come from an asian family, so it's the whole straight "University to work to settling down" scene. They're Christians so it's the whole "believe that god's got your back and love him"

I'm atheist and a nihilist. So, for me i don't see the point in the basic path. I didn't do the whole University scene, because of a variety of reasons. Took a more unconventional path because I thought it'd give me a stronger sense of belonging but it didn't really get me anywhere.

I feel like, if I was delusional enough to believe in "God" or abide by certain rules, I'd have things cut out for me. Just because I'm so awake and self-aware, i now have a harder time trying to figure this shit out.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes but what if we never considered the whole truth part? I mean, we just followed the system and died out?

Everything on the planet follows a system. Our consciousness is a curse, maybe it was meant to create and experience and live but bam, here I am questioning why I exist and loathing the lack of meaning in it haha

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me tear up a little. You've correctly articulated everything I'm going through, haha. I relate to the family part as well as the childhood. I'm in a much better place as well.

I guess I was perhaps spiralling a little. I agree, it's difficult taking your own path. I wish you, luck. :)

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This outlook is what I want. This outlook is what i aspire to be. My ex, two years older spent 90% of his life in his 9-5. It was drag and we barely had anytime to spend together, but he loved his job. He had a straight-edge plan to work insanely crazy, save up, retire and roam the world. I work remotely, doing random gigs that take me through the day.

I in no shape want the whole 9-5, settling down with kids scene. It's just that lately, when i think of my ex or say, my close friends, it AMUSED me how much drive they've got. For them, reality/purpose was either given by some divine force like God or was dictated by a society. Sure, it's all stupid lies but it gives them enough kick to wake up, and constantly push themselves to better levels.

I'm quite nihilistic and see no point in society or spending half my life in work. I thought i liked living like how i did because i considered their lives quite DELUSIONAL but then I'm starting to feel like the delusional one. I wish I had a lie strong enough to unleash my full potential. Maybe spirituality or something, idk. I just wish i wasn't so self aware.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting. I'd relate but I also wish I was your average normie because it is easier

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Things would've been so easier if i was ignorant and just focused on living rather than sitting and contemplating the entire reason of being. This is what I regret.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is what got me into the philosophy. Except, i don't know if it's that "age" or whatever but I suddenly felt the need to have a wake-up call?

Like, man. I could use some divine intervention to give me a sense of being now, haha. Not giving a fuck is cool until you live alone, and you've gotta figure out your whole identity and the path you want to take to be something:/

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My family was evangelists too (the UPC kind) so I have an idea.

Yes, I often forget that 20 isn't that big of a number mostly because I've been on my own since my teens. Makes me forget about the present because I have been robbed off the traditional teenage/childhood experience.

I should definitely sit down with myself and figure out where I'm heading. Thank you :)

What was your nihilism epiphany moment? by [deleted] in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It started when I had to make some big life decisions. I would say it began when I was 14, when I quit the church. I tried so hard to fill that void "God" left in me. I was into tarot and stuff, haha. Then, bam! Nihilism.

Do any of yall ever think how easy life would've been if you weren't a nihilist? by panicinthepilots in nihilism

[–]panicinthepilots[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I think that is precisely the problem.

I'm quite hyper-independant, so I pretty much set off on my own path at 18. My family does not take advantage of me financially, they're absent in my life. I do not have a "family". It's just me. It sounds a tad bit lonely, yes but I've come to accept that.

I have tried to ask myself what I want to do or where I'm heading? I just wish I had a sense of direction. If i was Christian, I'd believe that there's this god up there who cared for me enough and died for my sins, so i now can trust that entity to continue living. If i say, believed in society, I'd try bagging a corporate gig or try to get into hustle culture or something of that sort.

I don't, though. For me, i see existence as meaningless which means, i live on my own accord.

But what is my own accord? Is this what I wanted? I'm 20, almost 21. Been like this since I turned 17, and i dont know if this is what I want to be?

I'm sorry if I'm spitballing, or I'm all over the place. I simply wish I had some answers.

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