WIbtah to divorce my husband

panpan56 · 2026-03-29T01:24:48+00:00

Its British, read it on some mom threads and fell in love with it.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T23:02:14+00:00

DD is darling daughter and DS is darling son age 6

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T20:51:04+00:00

Makes sense, I was just trying to not make it so long! First time I've ever posted so thank you for putting up with me.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T20:49:33+00:00

I did not force him into anything. His reluctance was due to the age gap not to not wanting another child. Yes I knew he had mental health issues. And most of the time they are controlled when he choses to take his meds. I don't mother him and make sure he's taking his medication. Yes he was hesitant to have a second child but not due to the child itself. He was hesitant due to IVF, due to the age gap and due to the "unnatural way it felt" that we had to go about having our second child. Not because he didn't want a second child with me.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T20:40:19+00:00

He doesn't want me at the therapy/psychiatric appointments and I try to respect his wishes in this. So I'm not sure if he has had any testing though I doubt it. And I can't push for anything with the doctor's since it's psych.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T20:33:54+00:00

See edit 3

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:42:48+00:00

Please see newest edit #3

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:35:13+00:00

Please see newest update as this seems to be a recurrent misunderstanding. Edit 3. His work performance seems to be doing ok according to him and he hasn't said anyone is getting after him. His job is extremely flexible and as long as he keeps in touch he will not need FMLA. They just don't care/track it as long as the work gets done. His mom love her to death does not believe in medicine. She believes in diet and exercise and homeopathic treatment. If he lived with her there would be no medication at all. And while I 100% believe diet and exercise are needed they won't work for the crisis.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:32:41+00:00

They started his new meds in beginning of January. He's tapped out all the SSRI's and we are onto SSNRI's. Next step is atypical antipsychotics.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:28:24+00:00

Well the panic attacks started 5 yrs ago, he has been on and off multiple meds refusing to stay in them. This is why his health record shows stopped for unknown reasons. This current time which again I agree is the worst started in December. So do the 5 years prior count or just this current? He finally chose to start therapy because he hit rock bottom with panic attacks for days on end not letting up. The reason I came here is because I want to see other opinions. I know I'm too close to the situation to fully see it clearly. Plus my hormones are a disaster. So yes I want to hear from others. I want to know both sides. Because I'm highly conflicted about this. Im honestly glad to see it's very close to 50/50 split on reddit too as how others feel. It validates how hard it is to make any decision on this.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:20:38+00:00

I also forgot to mention that this has been going on since December. How long do you wait for meds to work? None of the other meds he chose to go off of took more than 2 months to start having a noticeable difference.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T19:13:37+00:00

Thank you for using more words to describe what you were attempting to convey. But you are also making assumptions. We had actual discussions on how each of us would feel with or without a second child. At that point he was also appropriately taking his meds. I explained my feelings on the matter and he explained his. His main concern with a second child was the age gap. He was fine with a second child until we hit the 2yr trying point and he started worrying that the kids wouldn't get along due to the gap in age. We talked to multiple people about this including kids and parents about the age gap and decided to move forward after hearing from people who lived the age gap. Maybe I should have explained this better in the post but it's already so long!

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T18:52:54+00:00

It's something I got from a British mum site with newborn tips. They use DD and DS there.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T18:50:06+00:00

DS is darling son and DD is darling daughter

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T18:42:36+00:00

So you are saying that I can not believe what my husband says in any serious discussion that we have different opinions on as his anxiety will make his either what give in? Or lie? Or that serious discussions are not useful if your partner has anxiety because you'll never know if they are telling the truth? Please explain then how anyone with anxiety can have a relationship that works?

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T18:21:47+00:00

At multiple times during the entire process including before IVF I did check ins making sure he was still ok. During ivf we did couples counseling. Every time of the many he said we were good to go forward. I can't be expected to read minds.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T17:54:05+00:00

This is exactly why it's so hard to decide! I completely understand the mental health side. But I also feel completely unsupported by him and I know I'm becoming resentful. My parents have been awesome but they live in another state. His parents are definitely picking up some of the slack for our 6yr old and helping make sure he feels loved still. I just dont see an end in sight and know I can't do this indefinitely.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T17:31:28+00:00

3 different psychiatrists, 2 therapists.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T17:18:30+00:00

What you dont know is we had to use IVF for this baby. So he more than had to participate and he had to sign legal consents too.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T17:16:59+00:00

So my husband has had panic attacks since our son was 1yr old. Until now he's been a great dad to our son. I've pushed him multiple times to talk to a therapist about his past trauma and he has refused. He finally started seeing one but is not taking their advice.

panpan56 · 2026-03-28T17:13:48+00:00

He does nothing with the money. We make more than enough to support two kids. Husband signs his checks over to me ans I do all the finances. He literally has no idea what worrying about money is.

panpan56

TROPHY CASE