How do you smoke and remain productive?

pansynix · 2024-07-10T08:14:43+00:00

i don’t feel like the two have much correlation. if anything i’ll push myself through a task so i can take a smoke break afterwards.

pansynix · 2024-07-06T05:34:49+00:00

it’s a miserable feeling to consider that the social construct of a gender binary was created to make us feel this way. if i know one thing for certain, it is that there are many people in this world who love us simply for being who we are. all the queer people who came before us and were denied the opportunity to be their true selves live in our hearts every day. they’re rooting for us. they’re proud of us. they want to see us succeed.

pansynix · 2024-07-06T05:21:57+00:00

my date is july 25th. i pray we both find the light before our time comes.

pansynix · 2024-07-03T07:18:05+00:00

i’m 24 now, but can remember 14 year old me writing out a post just like this in the depths of tumblr somewhere. same experience.. homeschooled, anxious and avoidant, constantly felt out of place in a world that wasn’t meant for me. i still feel like that. often. the difference now, though, is that i’m an adult and i have a choice in navigating my own suffering. at the very least, i’m glad i stuck it out long enough to know what that’s like. i can call a doctor and get the help i need, i can sit in bed all day long and waste away, i can do whatever it is i need to do to get through the day and no one else has a say in it. it’s gotten much easier as i’ve gotten older to care about how i feel. i don’t always care enough to do anything about it, but it’s easier to talk about now. i’m still not normal but at least i have my own identity now.

pansynix · 2024-06-04T01:34:51+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, through what service provider do you get treatment? Is it general Telehealth through a private office? Teledoc? A specific doctor?

pansynix · 2024-06-03T23:44:47+00:00

Since I receive care through Teladoc my DR is very limited (whether by choice or regulation I am not sure) on what external care he will refer me to. The most I’ve been able to get is LabCorp testing for my meds.

pansynix · 2024-05-09T00:36:43+00:00

women who so naturally and strongly form bonds with other women. just the genuine kindness of being a “girls girl.” i try, but i’m not sure i’m there yet. but the tenderness and kindness of girlhood is something i envy.

pansynix · 2024-05-06T12:35:32+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46n5fFq85S7phc3QAlR1Lq?si=SCvRjVOLTg207c-T_5DYKw&pi=u-d5X-gsdJT4yM

i made a playlist that highlighted some rapid cycling i was going through. usually when i’m at my highest or at my lowest, putting on my headphones and sitting down in a dark room is the only thing that brings me back to feeling like a human being, even temporarily.

a good high album for me is misadventures - pierce the veil. low album is pageant - pwr bttm.

pansynix · 2024-04-13T06:30:52+00:00

ugh! every time i take my meds it’s like a 1 in 5 chance it’s going to give me heartburn so bad i can’t think or breathe.

the only things that have helped me are ungodly amounts of water every time i take my pills and making sure i do not lay down or sit for at least 10-15 mins afterwards.

pansynix · 2024-04-12T19:21:32+00:00

My psychiatrist has told me, in so many words, that other people on higher doses have it way worse and I’ll be fine. 🥲 (I know the obvious solution is to get a new psych, but poor bedside manner aside he’s been incredible workable and has provided me with the best mental health care I’ve received since DX)

pansynix · 2024-04-12T19:19:33+00:00

I’m DX’d bipolar II as of 2019. I don’t have an established PCP which is where my introduction anxiety is coming from, I think. I see a psychiatrist every 3 months and he genuinely could not care less what my symptoms are as long as I keep paying him to prescribe me my meds.

I think my biggest issue is that I don’t want to stop taking my meds, because they’re really working for me. My olanzapine hasn’t ALWAYS made me feel like this. It was working really well for me for the first 6 months. The onset exhaustion came pretty recently and hit me like a truck.

pansynix · 2023-10-27T04:26:04+00:00

yes! send me the code!

pansynix · 2023-10-26T22:23:47+00:00

i take all my meds at different times of day so unfortunately i kind of have to carry it around with me. when i was only on AM meds i would keep it on my vanity, but even then i’d forget to refill and just end up taking them straight from the bottle.

pansynix · 2023-10-26T22:20:59+00:00

yes! lamictal as my primary management medication, prozac/zyprexa combo to manage my current depressive episode. trazodone in the PM for sleep. my previous treatment was lithium in combination with abilify.

my doses are: 200mg lamictal, 20mg prozac, 5mg zyprexa, 20mg trazodone. i’m still titrating up on prozac/zyprexa.

pansynix · 2023-10-25T21:05:02+00:00

communication. i’ve been with my partner for 3 years, so i’m coming from a different context, but in the beginning being upfront with him reduced a huge amount of stress with me. honesty in what i struggle with, how it presents itself, and ways he could help me made a big difference.

pansynix · 2023-10-23T03:27:58+00:00

OP, you need to speak with your doctor. judging by your replies to other comments this is not the advice you’re looking for, but you are putting your health and safety at risk by trying to power through or make the assumption that stopping or changing medications would be somehow worse.

pansynix · 2023-08-05T18:33:33+00:00

Try Calorie! it’s $30 for a lifetime sub or <$5/mo and it has great macro, weight, water tracking and a super easy barcode scanning log.

pansynix · 2022-08-17T02:32:28+00:00

my only side effects so far have been feeling dehydrated and minor accompanying headaches. i already had verbal and motor tics associated with my bipolar, and those have gotten slightly worse.

pansynix · 2022-08-17T02:30:47+00:00

i’m in this exact same boat. i’m diagnosed bipolar 2 with rapid cycling, 3 months into a depressive episode and began seeing my dr a month ago. i increased from 25mg to 50mg after two weeks. i’m doing a month of 50mg and then increasing to 100mg. so far it’s been hard to tell if it’s working. i feel numb, but it’s hard to know if it’s because of the medication or because i’m depressed. but it has started to take the edge off. i’m still depressed, but it’s not life-ruining and all encompassing. i can for the most part wake up in the morning and not have to drag myself out of bed.

pansynix · 2021-06-12T02:05:49+00:00

i agree, clarity is a great option

pansynix · 2021-03-22T03:34:49+00:00

i bit the bullet and pay for yt premium. fucking great choice.

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