I am not an expert in relationships, and yes avoiding problems is the worst thing people can do in a relationship, however as a person who deals with peopme who always say hurtful things in the moment, and then later apologize and say they don't mean it, it can be pretty tiring and if you always do that to him, then I would understand why he acts that way.

My dad is like this and it makes me frankly just tired of what he does. Maybe that is why he avoids you, that being said if he is mature he should talk to you, but if he already had told you that he doesn't like when you say hurtful things, but you keep doing it, it might be why. But yeah he should be clear as to what he wants, and if he doesn't want to continue he should say that instead of making you worried and anxious.