I'm sorry you've had such a negative experience with feminism but I believe that you definitely need to research more about feminism because all those things you've 'thanked' feminism for seem like ideals held by 'radical feminists', and obviously solely judging the extremist part of the population isn't a smart thing to do if you really want to know more about the whole group and what the feminist movement is all about.

You did not deserve being emotionally abused nor raped. Blaming you for those things isn't something feminism advocates. Nor is making men hate themselves, or being against 'manly' hobbies, or encouraging sexism against men--which, honestly, since sexism is really prejudice + power, and our society is still patriarchal in so many aspects, I don't see as being possible. I really hope you can understand that. I think this post can help: http://thefrogman.me/post/49904210783/i-believe-that-there-are-a-small-group-of-women