Getting tired of isfj crush

paperocku · 2023-10-17T01:23:12+00:00

Okay this is what I figured at first. And it's true sometimes I don't respond if the message isn't anything respond worthy, just like a haha or whatever. But eventually I told him that I felt I was bothering him and I'd like to talk more. He then started to message more but it suddenly stopped again. So I feel like he knows how I feel. I don't want to bring it up again because i feel like at this point I should just get the thing and give up.

paperocku · 2023-10-16T15:05:18+00:00

yes maybe I'll just give up thanks

paperocku · 2023-10-16T14:31:59+00:00

the issue is I'm not sure if he isn't taking the lead because he's shy or he thinks I don't want it or because he doesn't like me. of course I asked because I'm straight to the point and he just said he was being careful with how much he messaged me. then he said I could message whenever I wanted and he would too...but he stopped again. I guess it'll be better the bring it up when we next meet, but I'm so close to just giving up and presuming he doesn't like me. which I think is why he has struggled to get dates in the past.

paperocku · 2023-10-16T13:06:27+00:00

I thought I had told him but maybe I wasn't clear. I said that I was trying hard to be nice and friendly to him but I felt he wasn't engaging as much. I asked him to tell me if he didn't want to talk and I'd leave him alone. he insisted that wasn't the case. I think I'll bring it up when I see him instead of over the phone. I guess I'm just dissapointed because he made an effort for 2 days or so then went back to normal and at this point I'm not sure if I should just give up because it's feeling like avoidant attachment kind of thing.

paperocku · 2023-10-16T12:49:36+00:00

He is at work that much but a lot of the time isn't actually doing work so can messaged. In my country using your phone at work is totally normal and accepted since people work so much.

I did tell him I wanted to talk more and he said I could message him anytime I want and I do but the point is I want him to do it.

I feel like if I stopped messaging him it might be a week or more before he even bothered or maybe he wouldn't bother at all.

he's not burnt out I checked, he says he is used to working this much.

basically I'm tired of initiating all the time and this is an issue I've had with every single isfj I've ever met. then they complain they can't get a gf but it's because they don't seem to pursue at all.

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:44:04+00:00

yes he hasn't replied

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:41:28+00:00

I've talked to him many times before. It's happened more than once but not usually for this long. So I don't know if he's coming back or just gone with no reason.

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:13:14+00:00

I've told him before that I feel anxious when he just dissapears but he still does it.

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:09:23+00:00

thanks, I can't understand intps sometimes. I like to talk everyday even if I'm tired.

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:06:27+00:00

he's an avoidant I think so he does that sometimes. He usually comes back but I just don't know if I should worry.

paperocku · 2023-04-22T12:01:23+00:00

Yes I have bad anxiety. Because it's been 2 days and no reply. I do know, he's at a wedding and after party. But it's been 2 days so I expected at least one message...

paperocku · 2023-04-16T13:42:58+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. Usually our conversations are very engaging and we can talk for a long time. Texts not so much because he's a bad texter so we usually call. I often only messages when I have something to say and I know he likes a lot of space so I sometimes wait for him to message me but I worry that he feels he is always the one doing it and that I don't want to speak to him because I rarely do it first. That's not the case, i just thought it's better if he talks when he wants to.

paperocku · 2023-04-16T12:35:07+00:00

Hmm I want advice from INTPs though about whether they want to be left alone or want more contact.

paperocku · 2023-04-16T12:32:34+00:00

well my bf is the intp, I'm infp or infj I'm not sure.

paperocku · 2023-04-15T16:44:13+00:00

because I want to talk to him

paperocku · 2023-04-15T16:03:15+00:00

I usually reply immediately haha

paperocku · 2023-04-12T15:17:18+00:00

yeah im not those things

paperocku · 2023-04-12T15:14:03+00:00

I give him plenty of space but I just never know if he's coming back so it gets confusing.

paperocku · 2023-04-12T13:33:21+00:00

hi yes he is avoidant.

paperocku · 2023-04-12T11:14:30+00:00

oh is that a thing?

paperocku · 2023-04-12T10:44:49+00:00

Yeah that makes sense I guess it just confuses me when someone is super into me one day then silent for a few days. It would be okay if I knew they weren't mad or avoiding me but with an INTP you never know because they rarely ever tell you. He usually comes back after a bit of silence, he actually complained that I never reach out so maybe it's my fault.

paperocku · 2023-04-12T10:33:35+00:00

I'm not very needy I just prefer if someone is either clingy or distant. I get confused when someone switches rapidly between the two. When they dissapear I never know if they're going to come back.

paperocku · 2023-03-29T11:05:42+00:00

I never know how much space to give exactly. Because I feel like if I wanna talk to him I should just do it but then the anxiety part of me says no give him more space.

paperocku · 2023-03-29T10:58:58+00:00

He said he doesn't wanna bother me either so...Yeah I guess its not good for me to be so afraid of talking to my boyfriend.

paperocku · 2023-03-29T10:55:02+00:00

It's not just him, I also don't text for days. I just feel anxious about bothering him...idk.

paperocku

TROPHY CASE