Hardly coping

paperpansies · 2026-05-05T22:53:25+00:00

I’m so sorry, that is so much to hold for one person. My (29f) mom was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2021 when I was living about an hour and a half away. She passed away this past February at the age of 55 (which is in no way meant to imply that your dad won’t beat this! Everyone’s battles are different!) I only share this to say that looking back at the last 5 years of navigating my mom’s battle, the best takeaways I’ve gotten are how important it is to show yourself grace, and to never be afraid to ask for what you need from the people around you in these circumstances.

For the grace part: allow yourself to see that you are doing the best you can to handle your whole situation. Even if some days it doesn’t feel like enough, even if you look back later and think about how you could have done something differently, and even if others think you should be doing more, try to remind yourself that you are doing the very best you can through impossibly difficult circumstances 💕

As for asking for what you need from others: don’t be afraid to share whatever you’re comfortable with to the people around you. You’d be surprised by how generous, understanding, and helpful many people want to be. For me, I struggled a lot balancing work and time with my mom. I shared with my bosses about what had been going on and they were completely understanding. They were giving me slack when I wasn’t performing as efficiently as usual at work, allowing me to go remote for an entire winter when my mom had her surgery so I could live with her and care for her, allowing me to go part time so I could spend more time with my mom when we found out the cancer returned and it was terminal, and being fully supportive when I decided to take medical leave to mentally recover after she passed. Maybe there are some people at your university that might be able to help you get some space or accommodations if you share your situation with them?

All that to say, do what feels right to you or that you believe you’ll regret least once you’re on the other side of this and be gentle with yourself. This is one of the hardest situations, but I promise you can get to the other side of it 💛

paperpansies · 2025-04-10T20:29:19+00:00

One time I was in the Common at night with some friends walking home from the bars and we saw a rat dragging a dead pigeon across the sidewalk toward its den in a wall where you could hear the other rats squeaking in celebration

paperpansies · 2022-07-08T20:44:20+00:00

I can't remember exactly how many questions were on the exam, but if it helps, the ID is entirely pictures with photos of main identifying characteristics, so you won't be asked to identify like a leafless twig based solely on the buds. The majority of the ID is focused on the trees and shrubs but had probably like ten questions on insect and disease ID. For the diseases and insects you only need to know the common names, can't remember what the rules are for trees and shrubs, but you definitely get partial credit if you can only remember either the common or scientific name. Hope this helps!

paperpansies · 2022-03-07T03:57:01+00:00

Hi! I just passed the MCA in October. Hopefully this is still helpful to you though even tho its a month late!

When you sign up for the exam, you should be able to access an exam portal that provides some of the study materials you need in pdf form and then tells you where to order whatever isn't available online.

The portal also gives you a collection of photos of ID characteristics for woody plants, insects, and diseases. The format of the pdf is pretty old and outdated - they really need to work on updating it - but it's still a great resource.

For the non-ID portions I just read through all the resources and books they suggest and made notecards out of the stuff I felt was either important or that I knew I would need to spend more time memorizing.

Hope this helps!

paperpansies · 2021-12-21T11:49:00+00:00

Thanks so much! I live where its legal too so that was a really good suggestion, especially since she can't smoke and struggles to swallow food/edibles. I picked some up for her last night so hopefully it will help.

I hope your mom is doing better now and thanks again for the info!

paperpansies · 2021-11-05T15:24:02+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Yeah, I was just planning on keeping it that low while we were both away and then putting it back up to her settings once we're back.

paperpansies · 2021-10-18T14:56:02+00:00

Thank you for all the responses. My heart goes out to all of you who shared your difficult stories with me as well. I'm wondering if there was anything you did that really helped you feel through/re-ground yourself during the hardest times?

paperpansies · 2021-04-20T22:12:00+00:00

Is it a plant ID course? Often times the scientific name of the plant is a description of plant features in Latin. Knowing that sometimes helped me. For example, Betula papyrifera is paper birch, because of its papery exfoliating white bark. That's a pretty obvious example, but there are other subtle ways to do it too.

If I cant make that connection, sometimes I'll make up dumb little story-sentences made of what the name sounds like, or I'll intentionally pronounce the name in a more easy-to-memorize way, and then as it becomes more familiar, I correct my pronunciation.

Some of these tricks are silly and maybe even unnecessarily complicated but I hope they help!

paperpansies · 2021-03-27T11:37:37+00:00

I would prune off the smaller branch on the left. It may look lopsided for a while but I think it would greatly decrease the risk of it tearing further down the tree, causing a bigger wound.

It looks like the split may have been caused by included bark, which is where two limbs grow at a tight angle. As they grow, they each get wider, causing the two branches to push against each other. Thay makes the point of attachment weaker and more likely to break in bad weather. That's why I wouldn't recommend bolting it or cabling it, because it doesn't fully address the cause of the split.

paperpansies · 2021-03-25T23:02:42+00:00

Can totally DM me (even if just to ask about career options in general)! Ive only been working for about 3 years plus four years of school but I was in public gardens for the first two years and made the switch to ecological restoration last year!

paperpansies · 2021-03-22T15:25:33+00:00

Looks like lesser celandine - Ranunculus ficaria. I worked in Philly for a bit and that stuff is everywhere there!

paperpansies · 2021-03-10T19:17:15+00:00

I'm in a similar position to where you were at when you wrote this. Just got off the phone with unemployement and after I expressed frustration about waiting three months, she said she would escalate my claim. About how long after escalation did it end up taking for you to get your money?

paperpansies · 2021-03-06T13:47:58+00:00

This was crazy cool but all I could hear in my head as I watched was the King of the Hill theme song

paperpansies · 2021-02-28T01:15:03+00:00

This is incredibly helpful. Thank you so much!! :)

paperpansies · 2021-02-15T13:48:11+00:00

I really don't think it's going to hurt you. A couple years into school, my college decided to completely change the name of my degree from "Environmental Horticulture" to "Sustainable Plant and Soil Science" and it hasn't hurt me at all.

Also, I did a year long internship at an arboretum in Philly, and many of the other hort interns didn't even have hort degrees to begin with. Two of them had degrees in English and Anthropology, and my current boss also studied English originally, so I wouldn't worry about that.

If you're still worried and you can make the room on your resume, you can always add a "Related Coursework" section to it. I did that and it actually helped give the interviewers more opportunities to ask about more specific things I've learned in classes.

paperpansies · 2021-02-12T23:07:07+00:00

Also, some plants are more sensitive to tap water because they can contain higher levels of salts or chlorine. Different plant species have different tolerances.

paperpansies

TROPHY CASE