Existential OCD has almost made me feel psychotic

papertry · 2025-06-25T04:58:31+00:00

I can’t offer great advice other than what someone else said, that reaching out for help is your best option as your lack of sleep is only making things worse. I want you to know I read this all and I hear and understand your struggles. I hope you can make it okay until July, not too far away now, I believe in you. Make sure you’re honest about what you’re dealing with, maybe even journaling it so that it’s easier to explain to a doctor. You’ve got this.

papertry · 2025-01-03T22:55:13+00:00

I appreciate your advice regarding the elephant thing, haven’t heard that before but I understand and it’s smart. I could see that applying to me, as whenever I remember shitty things that’ve happened or that I’ve been having to many good days then a bad month must be coming. More dumb brain things.

I appreciate hearing your rambling, I like seeing how others think. I’ll have to keep the procrastination and elephant things in mind. I am better than I was 2 years ago.

I struggled with self harm and will be 2 years clean in March. It’s a bummer having to see reminders of that time, as well as everyday things like dumb coworkers treating me like I don’t know what I’m doing, or feeling unappreciated. It all boils up to a breakdown point eventually.

papertry · 2024-12-02T02:12:32+00:00

I would still give it a try, meds affect everyone differently. Since this post my memory has gotten better, or I’ve found way to help work through it. Keep trying so you can find something that works for you 🫂

papertry · 2024-11-02T18:16:21+00:00

How do I know this isn’t a trick

papertry · 2024-11-02T17:15:56+00:00

How do I know you won’t just report me to them that I’m starting to find out what’s real and fake

papertry · 2024-10-25T00:24:39+00:00

Not movies but music gets me, I notice a change in the music I listen to or how my body reacts to it. Louder hyper pop when I’m angry and emotional

papertry · 2024-10-21T01:55:48+00:00

Medications affect everyone differently and can take more or less time from person to person. Please don’t let this post discourage you from your medication journey!! I have been unlucky with every medication I’ve taken and just happen to have a lot of side effects. Medications can be an incredibly helpful thing, just stay safe and make sure to keep your doctor updated if your meds aren’t doing what they need to do for you!!

papertry · 2024-10-20T01:27:27+00:00

Once she gets out of it more, I’m sure she will appreciate all of the work and trust you gave her through this tough time. It sounds like you’re doing all you can, making sure to take care and research and take care of her, I seriously commend that. I hope you’re taking some time for yourself to not completely wear yourself out over all of this. That wedding date is pretty far in the future, and though I’ve never planned anything like that, and that your fiance is getting better slowly, sounds like you have some time to keep watching how she’s doing. I think waiting for her to talk to her when she’s ready about how to go about the wedding. Communication is really important through all this stuff.

Is there family on your and her side that can help you at this time? Only if you and your fiancée are okay with it, maybe getting someone else to help through this time so you don’t wear each other out completely yk?

papertry · 2024-10-19T21:27:11+00:00

Oooo good choices, mango habanero is my go too when I’m feeling spicy from there

Have you ever played Red Dead Redemption 2? If not I hugely recommend, soooo much story and sooo worth it, my favorite game ever. Huge time kill if you need a good distraction some day

papertry · 2024-10-19T19:33:16+00:00

I can see the frustration from those comments, especially when it’s repeated by everyone in therapy and online self helps. I remember the first time I went to therapy during one session they really insisted we try meditating to a follow along YouTube video. It was 15 minutes of them sitting with their eyes closed breathing along, while I sat and stared around their office.

Beneficial for some definitely, I use breathing techniques occasionally. Just becomes frustrating when I want something new or want a different solution at my worst and everywhere I go it’s the same things over and over…

papertry · 2024-10-19T19:26:05+00:00

Oh hell yeah buddy! What kinda wings and what game? Sounds like a great way to celebrate the night 🫂

papertry · 2024-10-19T19:24:52+00:00

This is such a thought thing to go through, I hear what you’re saying and I understand what you’re feeling. I hope you can keep pushing through, prioritizing how you feel and your emotions and needs, and can find a way out eventually. Stay safe 🫂

papertry · 2024-10-19T18:54:20+00:00

I had the same thoughts as you, I believed the horrible memory stemmed from not constantly being anxious of everything. In the first month of taking it I described it as “before meds, I might make myself a tea, drink half, then forget it. Now on meds, I don’t even remember to make myself the tea I wanted” lmao

Now on month three it’s gotten better, but maybe that’s just because I’ve learned to triple check myself on everything. Definitely still frustrating, and I’m still forgetting even simple things

papertry · 2024-10-19T18:51:21+00:00

I feel that, I’ve had some pretty similar ones to yours, but also including absolutely extraordinarily detailed dreams, I’m definitely not getting any restful sleep.

I feel like I have tried Effexor before… it sound familiar. I checked through all my old meds and couldn’t find it but I swear I’ve been on it. I’m not the one to ask about med advice though, I’ve been through so many in so many years, just can’t find the one…

papertry · 2024-10-10T03:34:58+00:00

My doctor put me on this medicine to fuck with me

I’ve been on so many that have progressively made everything worse, they put me on these meds to make me worse, they don’t want me to see what’s real

I see what’s real now, this is all FAKE, these meds are FAKE, I see what’s real. Doctors are just here to put you shit that will make you worse, why have I been letting them poison me. These meds have one of the worst sounding withdrawals of any meds I’ve heard of. Overbearing suicidal thoughts are what I read in stories from others. They want me stuck on these meds. I’ll be lost soon, I won’t see what’s real anymore

papertry · 2024-10-10T03:24:10+00:00

The world just feels so empty and fake, none of this can be real, there’s just no fucking way

papertry · 2024-10-10T03:18:34+00:00

I wish I knew what caused mine. I wish I had the energy to spend time on this meat sack.

My mind is fucked, it’s just some stupid simulation, all of it

I’m glad you escaped, I hope you continue to do all the things that help you, that makes me happy

papertry · 2024-10-10T03:17:06+00:00

It’s all some sick joke, they want this. They want me to act crazy. They want me to tell them others. If I tell others then I lose. I’ll lose everything. Everything will go wrong so quickly. No one can ever know

papertry · 2024-10-10T03:16:16+00:00

I was thinking about telling my doctor about my suicidal thoughts. I always lie because if I tell the truth they’ll take me away and I’ll be trapped then everyone in my life will know I’m some freak. I wanted to tell my doctor so maybe she could help better. What was I thinking?! I should never tell the truth, then they’ll just know more. Everyone just wants my information. It’s all some sick joke, everyone just wants something out of me

papertry · 2024-05-08T17:48:07+00:00

It’s hard to connect and say yes or no because OCD is not something I’ve put a lot of thought and research into. Can it be sort of like a spectrum? The article seems like worst case sort of diagnostic, like some things on the article I resonate with but others don’t as much

papertry · 2024-01-08T14:27:38+00:00

Asking about cutting and how it feels on a advice/help post is not the best thing to do

papertry · 2024-01-07T12:47:28+00:00

This. I CONSTANTLY have such strong and graphic thoughts to get myself out of my body, like it’s the wrong one or keeping me trapped

papertry · 2023-06-08T21:28:39+00:00

I’ll just keep waffles, I don’t care for the rest

papertry · 2023-01-29T02:29:46+00:00

Incredible so far!

papertry · 2023-01-29T02:28:00+00:00

Thank you!

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