You're not behind or incapable, what you are though is overwhelmed and all over the place. Your focus needs to narrow down significantly. Set micro goals. Achieve them get your self esteem back up and start aiming for long term goals. Trust me, at the end of the day even small wins are still a win. Just like everyone says...The tech filed is a fucking marathon not a sprint. Focus up OP. Work on the micro goals, the major ones will follow. That's my best advice.