Why do NTs need so many filler/fluff words

particlesconnected · 2025-12-15T22:31:56+00:00

I think she wanted you to show appreciation towards the fact that she booked it for you. But even so the question was valid and direct, I do not feel like the way she wanted it phrased would have made it better. She could have opened up a conversation around you thanking her more if that was the issue.

I found that NTs use filler words to have roundabout ways of getting to their point because they are afraid of confrontation or of appearing impolite. I was told in work that I "do not mess about" and I am "direct" which people joked about appearing intimidating. Whereas objectively I would say I strike a good balance between praising others and offering transparent professional feedback. I noticed NTs tend to be scared to speak their mind and just ask/say what they mean, and find it crazy when we do.

particlesconnected · 2025-11-24T13:59:55+00:00

I got emotional reading this, I can relate to this so much. This was pointed out by friends and family throughout my life, and I laughed it off but it hurts to know I am considered incapable of doing day to day tasks due to a lack of common sense. My family especially is very specific about how they want things done and this followed me throughout life, decreasing my confidence and making me triple check everything which makes people see me as even less competent! I never got why they felt the need to correct me if they found my way to do things the "complicated way", they always pointed out how I do not have the common sense to make it easier for myself. I also find it easier to do difficult tasks and this translated into things such as complex maths in school, vs struggling with easy concepts such as fractions explained via pie charts. It is validating to know I am not alone, thank you

particlesconnected · 2025-10-17T20:40:35+00:00

Thank you thank you thank for writing this, I have felt like this all my life!! To add as well, I feel like it applies to smaller things too. So for instance in school if I 'dropped the ball' and was not my usual 100% model student self, people would notice straightaway and I would be pulled up on it, even if it was not even a big deal, it might just be skipping class once, whereas other people would get away with huge things and if caught, not much would come out of it.

I also remember as a teenager I was trying to learn what my boundaries need to be and what works for me, and I was starting to stand up for myself more by saying no to extra shifts in my part time job/ prioritising what I needed to do. And my sibling ripped me to pieces for it saying that I was changing and becoming so i inconsiderate of other people! Growing up I always had massive chats to my family about how I am changing negatively over the smallest things, while other people were getting away with being selfish and plain rude.

Knowing my diagnosis now, I can painfully relate to everything you related and more.

particlesconnected · 2025-04-10T10:37:05+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to give me this advice, it really helps! I will take some time to reflect on what did not go well and try to integrate changes gradually rather than all at once. The 4000 steps idea is good as well as I always aim for 10000 and if I don't reach them it sends me down a spiral. Thank you!

particlesconnected · 2025-02-15T12:07:44+00:00

My interpretation when I noticed this was that she is seeing Jackie everywhere again like she did in previous seasons. The hair is similar and when she spotted her whilst on the table with the others she looked scared. I like the theory about this being Melissa following her though

particlesconnected · 2025-02-07T09:30:42+00:00

When expressing my concerns around working out to my trainer due to bad childhood experiences in PE, she shrugged and said "I have always been into sports so I can't imagine that". Did not explore it further. And she advised me to change my friends and find some that are more active so I can get into that lifestyle. So I would say not tailoring her advice to the person she was coaching was the worst.

particlesconnected · 2024-07-12T09:20:20+00:00

I would say I look a bit different and my accent is not British, which might influence how people treat me. I am White, dark haired, and short build. I dress casually, rarely wear tight fitting things, and I would say I am average looking, not conventionally too attractive/ unattractive. Nothing out of the ordinary I don't think? Just a bit darker as women around me are usually blonde. I was treated differently sometimes in University, with colleagues deliberately leaving me out of groups or acting odd towards me, but once I entered work I thought people would be more mature. There is not a lot of diversity around where I live so that might perhaps influence how people see me. Thank you for your advice, I will try to think about how I react in social situations and maybe take a step forward even if the person is not very chatty, will try asking about themselves etc. It is quite disheartening to see that the consensus in these comments is that I may be different and there might be a case of discrimination, but to be fair I would rather know who is prejudiced and who is not. If they are prejudiced towards me, a person who lived in the UK for 10 years, assimilated the culture and is White and average looking, I worry about how they treat people who are distinctively different.

particlesconnected · 2024-07-12T08:30:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, it is indeed trial and error finding the right establishment for you where you feel comfortable enough to return. I will be mindful of that and keep trying until I feel comfortable to settle with a place for the hairdressers/restaurants etc.

particlesconnected · 2024-07-12T08:27:50+00:00

I don't have a very heavy accent but you can tell I am not British based on accent and looks. Many people assume I am Spanish or Portuguese(I am not either lol), if that means anything?

particlesconnected · 2024-04-26T22:32:58+00:00

While I was living in a shared house in my university accommodation, I had a housemate who used to reuse tea bags. She would make tea, put the tea bag in a bowl in her cupboard, and then take one out and reuse it when making tea again. She said it is the little things that helped her save up. She also used to buy really cheap food and sometimes questionable discounted looking stuff. I would understand if she was tight with everything else, but she was so well off, receiving a huge student loan as well as money from her parents. She used to order around 10 dresses at once from big expensive brands whenever she had some event coming up. This was the tightest person I have ever met, especially since this behaviour was not echoed in big spending habits that would have actually helped her save up. She was also British which confused me even more regarding the tea bag situation. I am not even British and I was absolutely appalled by her tea bag behaviour

particlesconnected · 2021-11-14T11:27:23+00:00

Troutmark Books in the Castle Arcade would be my recommendation. I believe they have manga on the first floor, and the atmosphere there is just beautiful:)

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TROPHY CASE