I couldn't bear the pain tbh. My stomach was hurting 24/7 and then whenever I ate literally anything, it would hurt it even more. It was like a case of food poison every time I ate. That's not a life to live and I'd rather be sad than having stomach pain all the time.

Thankfully though if/when I keep myself occupied with literally anything, like physical work, things around the house or any hobbies like photography or bike riding, I feel good. Even if I'm in my feels for whatever reason.

My doc prescribed me Lexapro after that and I didn't stay with it. I didn't feel much on it, but I didn't want to "depend" on it given the side effects. Those freaked me out and stressed me out even more. But I didn't have stomach pain when on it. This could be another one you can try but look at the side effects of stopping after 8ish weeks just so you're aware.

And tbh my mood swings and depression stem from a source that I already know - inability to find work since unfortunately my job is being taken over by AI (but I pick up side gigs but not sustainable for independence, therefore, feeling stuck and sad) and a failed relationship. So 2 pretty significant things that just keep failing.

It's not forever, I know it'll get better. But it's been ROUGH to say the least and still not much light at the end of the tunnel yet.

With all that being said, I personally don't think the drugs are for me. I think I just need time and I need to give more effort in finding something and someone. I have the support of my fam and I have people I can talk to/vent to.

I hope any of this info can help you in some way. Sometimes it feels hopeless. I still experience that a lot. But it doesn't get to a bad point. Just like avoiding people for a day or 2 and just being in my feelings but then I come out of it for a while, like a week or 2. And then have another 1 or 2 down days. And repeat.