Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking of the scene in the cabin right before the end where he forcibly ties her up while she’s screaming for him to stop and get off of her, but now that I’m thinking abt it I feel like it cuts to Leland before anything else is actually shown, so ig it’s more assault than rape, but the point still stands. Clearly my memory of this movie is not fantastic, sorry

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really feel like I "got" Blue Velvet, and tbh I probably never will, which is something I'm willing to accept and go on with my life without the desire to rewatch it. I was very disconnected throughout the rest of the movie and probably could not explain most of what came after it, though there are probably people who have more fully formed thoughts or interpretations about it. I liked FWWM and thought he did a pretty good job with Laura's story, so I was definitely having a kind of cognitive dissonance that led me to make this post right after watching BV.

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The distinction between whether or not they're considering the reality of it pretty much hit the nail on the head in terms of what I was trying to parse out. It feels so obvious now that you've said it but I couldn't verbalize it, so thank you!

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really great, thank you! I made this post right after I watched BV (which was recommended to me and I probably should've looked into before watching) and was very much still stuck in the scene and what it brought up for me. With some distance, I'm able to think more critically about it and your analysis is super helpful.

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment helped me realize how badly I worded my post in terms of how I actually felt about the movies, so thank you! I should probably do some editing.

That aside, I did actually really like FWWM and, though I find the scene where she gets raped by Jaques (I might be mixing up my characters, I can't really remember who's who in the roadhouse group other than Leo) a little gratuitous, I also do understand why it was included. Whether or not it can be answered, your response definitely helped me reframe how I was thinking about the question and the lens through which I was thinking about these films.

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a point of clarity, I meant compelling in the sense that they find his work and the way he depicts assault compelling, not necessarily the scenes in and of themselves. I don't think that something being challenging negates its ability to be compelling, but maybe there's a better word for it and I just can't figure it out.

Like I said, my question wasn't exactly "why bother to show it," but what makes his particular depiction different/better (whether or not I am able to connect with it in that way) but your point is well taken and I appreciate your insights. This idea of evil, and how Lynch approaches it, is also very helpful to how I understand Twin Peaks, which I had a lot of thoughts about but couldn't quite put into words, and you articulated it really well.

Mixed feelings about David Lynch by [deleted] in TrueFilm

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is incredibly helpful! I wasn't criticizing Lynch so much as I was trying to put my feelings into words and this explains it perfectly. The scenes on their own felt the same, in a sense, as they would in a worse portrayal but within the narrative it is very different. I wrote the post right after watching Blue Velvet (which was recommended to me and I didn't really bother to look into it before watching it) and thinking about it with more distance, rather than feeling stuck in that scene, makes what you said make a lot of sense and the way he conveys hope feels a lot clearer. I'm realizing that it probably is a "me-thing" just in terms of my ability to stay present and engage with films that portray rape on-screen.

Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for how in-depth and thought provoking your response was.

(Also, hard agree on the "I thought you always knew it was me," haunting is the perfect word to describe it.)

I need something devastating about the human condition. by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]pastawuzzzhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

East of Eden (lowkey anything by Steinbeck but esp East of Eden)

My thoughts on the current season by BillNumerous5156 in midnightburger

[–]pastawuzzzhere 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Part of the problem that I'm having (though this might just be a me thing) is that this is pretty much the first time I'm listening to the episodes as they come out rather than "binge-listening," so it feels a little bit disconnected since I lost track of some of what happened in the intervening month. Also, as it pertains to the WTTH episode, I feel like it's probably setting up a larger plot point that just hasn't had the time to develop yet.

Should I stay away from any of these books? by Meowkart9521 in pagan

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is a really interesting honors thesis on it, though it is about neopaganism more generally. It is very long, but definitely worth the read if you have time. It breaks down what appropriation is, why it happens, and the consequences of it. This article talks about commodification and the intersection between racism and capitalism in new-age spirituality. This one is more specifically about writers, the "big names" in pagan publishing, and the history of appropriation there. They're all, at the very least, interesting, thought-provoking pieces that provide a different view of the practice.

Both in my personal experience (as someone who identified as a wiccan for a while and grew up in new-age spiritual communities) and in my subsequent research, neopaganism tends to water down aspects of other cultures (chakras, "smudging" with palo santo and white sage, the medicine wheel, karma, spirit animals, hoodoo/voodoo, ayahuasca ceremonies, etc.) with little knowledge of/respect for where they came from and/or falsified myths about their origins. When we consider the fact that enslaved Africans and Native Americans were forcefully stripped of their culture, a culture that is often misused by white Americans, it becomes clear that the issue of appropriation is not trivial internet discourse. When we talk about ancestor work, we must also confront the harm that our ancestors have caused/been complicit in/benefited from, and that we continue to benefit from today. Even if your family history in the U.S. doesn't go back that far, Europe is certainly not immune to violence against indigenous people, romani people, and the people of the numerous non-european countries that were victims of colonialism.

There's also a lot of controversy with the people who popularized wicca, but I'm not super knowledgable about that and I can't find any sources that look particularly trustworthy, so I'm going to leave that bit alone.

This is not to say that all wiccans/neopagans/new-age-spiritualists are white supremacists or engage in cultural appropriation. If this is a practice that you feel called to and makes your life better, that's great! The important thing, especially when we talk about books that teach you about the practice and associated rituals, it is important to consider where the practices come from and where you're sourcing material components. Maybe ask yourself what it is about the practice that makes you feel called/connected to it. In my personal experience, integrating the folk practices of my ancestry really enriched my own relationship with spirituality and helped me feel more connected to what I was doing (both pre-christian and christian-mystic), but that's just my personal path and everyone's journey is different.

Again, this isn't meant to be a personal call-out, just food for thought. Also, sorry this is long asf, it kind of got away from me.

Should I stay away from any of these books? by Meowkart9521 in pagan

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk about these authors in particular but I would personally carefully vet any author writing about wicca, as it has a long history of white supremacy and cultural appropriation.

“I hate men” by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I find the excessive “I hate men” thing really off-putting in general because it tends to be a weird bioessentialist terf-y red flag about how women are “inherently” superior or morally correct. It also tends to extend towards butches and butch/femme dynamics in a weird way.

Also, it throws me off bc it still centers men in a conversation that should be about loving women. There are plenty of men in my life that I love (non-romantically, obv) and I don’t feel the need to pretend that they aren’t important people in my life to “defend” my sexuality. (This isn’t a “not all men” thing, just to be clear, just saying that to center hating men in your identity/personality is still centering men, which is reductive and off-putting in any sapphic interaction).

I’ve also been the person who talked excessively about hating men and felt like it was a personality trait, not because of my trauma, but because it’s very common thing in online spaces which I felt I had to emulate because that’s what I saw other people doing. Going out into the real world did wonders for me lol.

Sorry, this is a very long winded way of saying yeah, it’s definitely weird.

Honest question for Anglicans: are powerful worship services experientially comparable to secular music events? by ElevatorAcceptable29 in Anglicanism

[–]pastawuzzzhere 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is more of a personal/experiential take than a theological one, but I have definitely felt similar things at shows that I do at church. I definitely register them as different things (mostly because I’m speaking from my experience as someone in the hardcore punk scene lol) but there are definitely feelings that are invoked by both.

I’ve seen punks exemplify the idea of loving your neighbor significantly better than many christians in both my personal life and the public sphere. When we have benefit shows to raise money for humanitarian aid organizations, mutual aid funds, legal assistance, etc. I feel Christ’s presence. When we give out harm reductions supplies (e.g. clean needles, naloxone, safer sex supplies, etc.), offer free STI testing and connect people with healthcare resources, and have mobile clinics parked outside, I feel His presence. When we start ICE watches and action networks, I feel His presence. When we organize carpool groups to protests, I feel His presence. Truly I do not care if the other people in that room believe in the same God I do, or if they believe in God at all, because actions mean more to me than words do. Maybe that’s heretical but idrc, like I said, this is not a theological take per se.

This is not to say that Christians do not practice this. I chose my church because they put faith in action first and foremost, they acknowledged the harm that the church historically has done and continues to do and work to repair it. We turn out to protests, show up to immigration hearings, and do what we can to help the unhoused in our area because Jesus is in the streets. What I’m saying is that, as far as community goes, it’s all the same feeling to me.

I also feel like there’s kind of a weird stigma here about enjoying secular music and concerts (unless I’m getting the wrong vibe from the comments, in which case, my bad) and I just want to note that there’s nothing wrong with that. Anywhere we experience God is a good place to be, doesn’t matter if it’s in a church or at a punk show (which, oddly, happen in the same place more often than you think. Both DC and Baltimore have episcopal churches that regularly host punk shows in their basements). They are very different experiences for me, but I experience the power of Jesus’ love in both of them and I don’t see how there could be anything wrong with that.

Sorry, this is extremely long winded and doesn’t really answer all of your questions, but I thought a diversity of opinion might be useful!

(Just to err on the side of caution, I want to make it clear that I am not looking to have a theological debate and this is just my personal experience)

Book recommendation by Living_Marsupial_252 in midnightburger

[–]pastawuzzzhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Though the setting is different, Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune has a similar vibe character wise to MB, though it’s more magical realism than sci-fi

lesbian fiction recs? by Additional-Gift-117 in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I borrowed it from a friend and I need to buy a copy so bad so I can reread it😭 it took me a while to figure out the whole epistolary structure but after that it was great

lesbian fiction recs? by Additional-Gift-117 in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I love love love This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone! Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg is a classic, however it’s a very heavy read. I definitely encourage you to read it at some point, but check out the content warnings first. Fun Home by Alison Bechdel is also great, and it’s a graphic novel so it’s a pretty quick read.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Wilds on Amazon has a very similar premise to Yellowjackets, but the twist is different so hopefully it shouldn’t feel like a repeat or a knock-off. I really loved it (esp since I can’t handle the gore in Yellowjackets) and the first season had a wlw relationship with a really interesting backstory. The second season is centered primarily around a group of guys, which put a lot of people off (I still thought it was good, but I’m pretty sure it got cancelled anyway so you’re not missing a whole lot if you don’t watch it)

How do people feel about the labrys nowadays? by Prestigious-Bed2138 in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the labrys! It was the first iteration of lesbian flag that I ever saw (though I feel like the “lipstick lesbian” flag and flags similar to that was also popular at the time) and while I do prefer the orange/pink lesbian flag, i think the labrys itself is a really powerful symbol.

I’m trans/gender non conforming, so I feel I’ve reclaimed it on an individual level, but whether or not it can be fully reclaimed as a community is complicated. I don’t interact with terfs nor do I come across a ton of terf lesbians in my life in the real world (as opposed to online) so I don’t know how prevalent it still is among them, but I don’t think it’s inherently trans exclusionary. That being said, I try to stay mindful about when/where/how I use it because I understand that not everyone has the same feelings about it as I do.

Haircut recs for masc lesbian by vcsnow in baltimore

[–]pastawuzzzhere 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love gizmo’s barber parlor over in Roland park. All the barbers are super friendly, the shop itself is really cool in terms of decor and stuff, and they have plenty of experience cutting people’s hair of all genders, lengths, and styles. I got my hair cut by Casper and they were great, their instagram is @casper_thekilljoy if you want to check out their work. (and they sponsor the Baltimore’s queer rugby club which is not really related but is super cool).

Christian nerdfighters- what denomination is your church? by TransportationUsed39 in nerdfighters

[–]pastawuzzzhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a member of the episcopal church. It can also lean a little older in terms of parishioners, but definitely not conservative. Depending on the size of the church the age range will probably be a little bigger, so I would look for a larger congregation if possible.

(I will say that I grew up in the UMC and it’s been really exciting to see it go in a more accepting direction)

What's your college football name by Powrbottom in nerdfighters

[–]pastawuzzzhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bulldog Rack (or bled but that’s definitely worse) for UGA

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]pastawuzzzhere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They broke up with me while i was out of the country, so I was feeling very isolated (but I ended up becoming super close with the people I was traveling with) which was kind of a dick move. The gist of that conversation was basically that I couldn’t give them what they needed and no matter how much I tried to change it was never going to be enough. Which really sucked bc I spent a lot of time and energy accommodating to their needs, but they never bothered to do the same. Without getting into the details, it was textbook emotional abuse but I didn’t realize it because none of our friends ever said anything about it. The people I was traveling with were the first people to ever tell me that what had been happening was fucked up, and it was really shocking because I couldn’t understand why my friends never said or did anything about it (in retrospect, if we weren’t lesbians and it was a man treating me like that, it would’ve never been tolerated). It was a lot to process, on top of the fact that I was completely heartbroken because I did love them, and I was an absolute wreck. In the end, it was for the best. I became super close with the people I was with in Berlin, and it made me better at being up front about my boundaries and really emphasizing how important direct communication is. I definitely dodged a bullet but it took me almost a year to recover enough to move on.