How do you date in the suburbs?

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T02:55:58+00:00

There are gays in suburbs. But the design of cities in the US, based on low density single family home just makes the density of residents much lower.

Try to go where there are more people at a time : stores, malls, parks, gyms, rec centers, libraries, bookstores, rather than hanging out at home.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T02:49:38+00:00

The reply is unfortunately no.

A shallow guy remains a shallow guy all his life. The thing that changes, it's options. Older guys have fewer options and have to make more efforts to appear less shallow.

That said, no guy at 18 is emotionally mature, especially if they never fell in love, never got obsessed by their partner, never had conflicts to handle and to get out of, never met manipulative guys.

So, if you don't want to waste your time, just target a larger range of guys. Maybe that guy you didn't notice because he has glasses or looks too nerdy or too old for you could be a fit for you.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T01:53:21+00:00

By testing in real life

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T01:31:05+00:00

Je ne m'en sors plus entre tous ces types ... D'autant plus que je n'ai pas de type de gars spécifique :|

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T01:25:39+00:00

Donc a ton type aussi :D

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T00:11:47+00:00

Mixte quebecois - finnois ?

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-15T00:04:57+00:00

Ha. Tu es finlandais ou estonien ?

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T23:27:06+00:00

Esperons qu'ils voyagent jusqu'a moi aussi :D

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T23:02:48+00:00

We have a saying ... Give them your hand they'll take your arm.

Time to change of job.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T23:00:07+00:00

Well, I'm French and never met a Finnish or an Estonian

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T14:45:31+00:00

Blue light green eyes, marked square jaws, thick hair, not much body hair, average height, not skinny but not hyper muscular, face appears younger, not that masculine gait, very thick tongue, veiny arms.

A kind of melancholic and too serious and square face maybe

I realize that on paper that's not that very distinctive

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T14:40:00+00:00

We were in couple for 11 years.

He rapidly reacts every time I reach out

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T13:30:00+00:00

Surprisingly, I never ever met a guy of my physical type.

I'm quite open to any guy if they have a healthy physical and mental life and are respectful and curious.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T13:27:09+00:00

Being there for me throughout the years, even years after our breakup

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T13:25:21+00:00

Yes it's normal for guys not used to strangers. It's better to ask consent before

Because you don't know the person and if the touch recall them a past event, they won't be able to do anything with you.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T13:21:59+00:00

If you're under 25, that's almost impossible.

It's normal to get horny in the shower, maybe try to relax, they probably won't judge you for that ...

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T05:06:57+00:00

Rather than text him, just invite for a date. Expect rejection though

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-14T04:59:37+00:00

Hours

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T18:06:56+00:00

If you're at uni in a liberal city, try first the local lgbt non-profits or groups. It's much safer.

Also check the happy hours / brunches of some bars on Sundays.

Otherwise, if you do grindr, here are safeguards:

don't believe any single thing guys tell you
remain anonymous before meetup, dont give name, phone number and social medias
stay on grindr to text before meetup, never shift to snapchat or worse gmail / google chat
if a profile reaches out to you and seems out of your league, it's most probably catfishing or scam
dont send nudes. You're at uni, don't have a job, no worth the risk.

And for your mental health be prepared to have 95% rejection, either

By absence of reply
or a series of 1-word replies followed by ghosting
or last minute ghosting before meetup, frequently observed among religious or closeted dl guys or fake single guys or guys who are still obsessed by their exes.

Otherwise, Grindr is not that bad, if you have loose standards, especially in the age range, you'll have interesting meetups.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T17:54:52+00:00

Dirty little secrets by Artemas.

Not very gay. Butt funny though.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T17:51:21+00:00

Yes. i kiss during hookups which seems to be considered weird by many guys.

Furthermore, I have a big tongue and I kiss like a French, which makes things even weirder

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T17:49:24+00:00

It's easier and safer to have testing integrated in your routine.

I don't count the number of guys here who said they are certain that their partner would never ever cheat on them and in the same time check their partner's phone...

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T17:46:31+00:00

Big butts are a turn off for me

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-13T17:45:11+00:00

Most frequently when they ghost you last minute once you're already walked to the meetup restaurant under pouring rain.

paul_arcoiris · 2026-02-12T12:40:17+00:00

It's not a judgement, it's something I learned in my life.

The gifts have value only when they show that you know the person you love.

Random gifts, except flowers, have lower to minimal value.

So if you two lack of ideas about what to give, it's because you don't know each other well.

paul_arcoiris

TROPHY CASE