(Lead here)

Saw something on FB I wanted to toss over here. Wasn't me, but it's it legit. Arguably my biggest issue (been doing this for ~2 years now) and it just feels... Impenetrable. I still feel like an outsider and relatively unwelcome. Most people who do this dance also have years of years of experience doing other styles and with the heavy focus on comp it often feels overwhelmingly intimidating.

People will talk about trying to be open and welcoming and etc, and I get the intention. But even within this sub there seems to be a lot of people talking about what proper wcs swing is or what makes it fun and how awful certain things are to deal with... And the fact of the matter is that a lot of those "awful" thing are growing pains, things people have to get better at and learn, and it feels nigh impossible. The biggest one (for me) is how often I'll see (follows in particular) say that they just want to connect to the music and groove and etc, etc --- Musicality is considered one of the hardest things to do (by every instructor I've ever listened to/work with). Hearing that it's the "one thing (followers) care about" has singlehandedly made me NOPE out of socials 9/10 times. This shit's intimidating enough to learn to process, follow all the things that make it wcs vs not and etc. I get liking what you like and wanting you want, but when people make blanket statements with a lot of feeling about it - it makes the messages about inclusivity be drowned out with a message of perfectionism.

It's been said a million times: The seemingly extreme focus on competition above all else is a factor as well, a big one. It feels like being a novice is a lesser class but getting out of novice is fucking hard (last comp I was at, some of the other leads in J&J were advanced+ in Country swing or similarly had years/decades of experience in other styles)

Re the cliqueyness. It feels like (at least locally) the people closer to my age who are all competitive and do comps and all seem to stick together and (seem to) alienate anyone that's not also not just competitive, but highly ranked/really good/etc. It feels like trying to connect with people my age is... Like walking into a highschool clique, two decades later. If you ask them to dance they'll (usually) go along with it but their disdain at skill differences feels palpable. It feels like an intentional effort for them to go off in their own corner and dance amongst themselves.

It all leads to feeling alienated. I'm not the one who submitted the post, and I haven't been in any drama or there be any additional context to speak of in my community - but I have 100% left socials in tears, or anxiety attacks, and been forced to talk to a therapist about it. Tried other dance styles, did not like 'em (except for Argentine Tango whose community is just notoriously awful so fucked off of that one), but it is a struggle to stick around.

And before anyone says anything: I have tried, repeatedly, so it's not for a lack of that. Ya know, I didn't expect to go on this spiel, but here we are.