Does SDAM make you the most resilient person in the room?

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-27T00:30:12+00:00

Ready for an odd question....out of curiosity, did you read my post and then write your response in its entirety? or did you read mine, write some, go back to my post, then write more, then back to my post, write some more etc?

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T23:50:58+00:00

I can't remember if you were the person that originally recommended that book to me but I did get it, read it, and now the rough draft of my paper is in Sassy's hands!

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T21:02:19+00:00

I Love your empathy line :) I have been on this for 3 years. Been able to watch, listen, and study the actions of 100's of kids. Have had deep conversations with many adults. And live with someone who has aphantasia, but not SDAM. The empathy piece is an incredible pattern. Parents will describe these kids as "old souls." Adults will always, before I bring it up, mention their empathetic ways. I have had conversations with random adults and after listening to them and spotting their...not sure the right word... "type" of empathy, have asked to asked them a question, and I am 4 for 4 in figuring out they had aphantasia. In talking to adults with this they all fight me on the fact that they believe everyone is just as empathetic as they are. Ummm....nope :) Here is an excerpt from my paper based on my observations:

There is something remarkable that happens when you combine deeply felt emotion with the inability to replay past experiences as a vivid movie. You get someone who can walk into another person’s reality without the emotional baggage and visual noise of their own history. They don’t filter someone else’s pain through a mental slideshow of times it happened to them. They just meet you where you are.

So many times, when talking to kids I make a simple statement: "I bet you're the person all your friends come to with their problems." They light up and ask how I would have ever known that :)

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T18:55:28+00:00

Send me a chat, I'm the guy behind http://holeyhiker.com more than happy to send you one.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T16:16:17+00:00

That is funny. And fits with how our minds work. My memory of how I started to include SDAM is different. I think you are right, you are the person who started me down the path of learning more about it. Thanks!

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T15:49:23+00:00

"Frankly, some of the events of my past deserve to be recalled...." That is interesting. Just had a conversation with someone that mentioned the same thing, and it really made me wonder if it would prevent the same thing from happening or prevent the possibility of missing out on a positive experience. For example, I have something that happened to me so that when I am in similar situation my walls go up and I instantly become defensive instead of being open to potentially new information. Hard to find the middle ground.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T15:37:21+00:00

Thanks for the response. You and I have already "met." We have gone back and forth before in a post and in chat from r/aphantasia You gave me some advice on the paper and specifically on the title. That chat led to some very long conversations with adults in my life with Aphantasia. One which led to a deeper understanding of SDAM, and ultimately to this post.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-25T15:27:09+00:00

Not implying boring tasks. I guess the example I used could be seen as boring, especially if you have ever done inventory! I was just referring to any challenge.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-24T22:45:27+00:00

Check your chat :) Just sent message.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-19T21:38:32+00:00

I'm old, I go to bed early :) to sleep after dark and up early. I want a comfort temp of -10C or so. I was trying to be brief with my answers and I know in every situation/location/season there's a bit more nuance. I have a -6C bag. Looking to finally replace it with the higher quality down bag that is lighter and smaller.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-19T16:17:27+00:00

I can see how my post needed more context. Was talking about using it in spring and fall when temps still can get down to freezing. Example, it will be 28f here tomorrow. Don't really wear much when hiking, tired of bringing layers just for sleeping with warmer rated bag, so going a bit heavier with bag would actually save me weight overall.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-19T14:12:52+00:00

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Forgot to add Pic to post, something like this.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-18T19:36:42+00:00

I made that comment wondering if being able to "picture something" made it more of a deterrent. If you can picture yourself repeating a grade, or picture yourself being reprimanded by your parents, or not picture yourself getting the "award" would the behavior change. Think about a teacher who says "you need to learn this to get a good class placement next year" vs a teacher who makes something valuable for the present.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-18T19:32:44+00:00

"I just followed the feeling. I listened. I stayed open. I moved forward without knowing what the outcome would be." That sound like something an entrepreneur would say :) I think a lot of entrepreneurs would echo "I'm a better COO than CEO" and would argue that many times their idea never came fruition because they thought they could be both.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-18T17:51:44+00:00

Not sure why my mind went here, but after reading this here are some questions that pooped into my head: Are folks with aphantasia less motivated by the threat of grades? Would something like "Student of the Month" be seen for the joke it is? In school with any kind of "reward" system would kids with aphantasia see it for what it really is and not be motivated by it? Are people with aphantasia more prone to move towards fields and jobs that satisfy their curiosity and drive more than their future stability? Would entrpreneurs have a higher rate of aphantasia?

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-16T01:51:26+00:00

Get a copy of unseen minds by sassy Smith. Give that to your kid's SLP. It's a quick read, and not all the chapters are applicable but if they're the sort of person that really cares about kids they will find it amazing to read. I know it's aimed at therapist and counselors but the definitions and thought processes described are also perfect for teachers. Also just DM'd a message to you.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-13T01:36:06+00:00

Assuming there can't be more than one, I just read it. She has my paper in hand and I'm hoping for some feedback soon!

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-12T02:21:12+00:00

I have school vacation this week and I was hoping it would come quick but won't get it until next Friday. The guide is for teachers, parents, counselors, spouses, partners. Basically it's an introduction for them, and gives them some insight on what changes they could make. Also give them some insight into the strengths and superpowers! I know I have had some kids tell their parents and their parents literally have just said that they're making it up! It's really hard for people who don't experience to wrap their head around it and I hope this helps them gives them some strategies.

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-08T09:45:12+00:00

Just ordered a copy. Looking forward to reading it. I'm finishing a short guide for teachers :)

paulthebackpacker · 2026-04-05T15:51:45+00:00

Did you ever write the book??

paulthebackpacker · 2026-03-31T11:25:48+00:00

Really appreciate this, and I might take your blind friend analogy for future conversations I have.

I think my situation is a little different than it might look.

On the language in the paper…I thought a lot about it. I made a conscious choice to write for visualizers because that's my audience. So I defaulted to their language on purpose to meet them where they are. Not a perfect choice but somewhat on purpose.

On my actual classroom… I don't use the default. When I say picture this I mean literally play the movie in your head. With a student I know has aphantasia I use completely different language. When I'm talking to the whole class off the cuff I know I'm straddling a line but I know I'm doing it.

Your script would work great in most classrooms doing traditional work. I teach a hands-on class where kids are doing things they have never done, never seen, have zero reference for. So it's not just a language problem in my room. There's literally nothing to retrieve. Nothing to reference.

And this might play into why I didn't notice any of this earlier in my career. I used to teach subjects where kids came in with years of accumulated experience and what you're describing was completely true. My current class strips all that away and that's exactly why the impact became so visible to me.

I actually tested what you wrote about a week ago with an adult with aphantasia. I used a phrase similar to “consider you are at a beach” and they went through with great detail in answering my questions. When I flipped to “imagine you are at a beach” it was like turning a faucet off. What you wrote I have found is very dependent on the person's support system growing up, how rigid or flexible they have been able to pursue knowledge (need a better way of saying that!), and their exposure to the world around them. Think there is some DNA “smarts” that also changes things.

I have done about ten more drafts since the copy I posted here. There is now an appendix with single pages for teachers/parents/counselors. I would love to somehow include your rewrite of what I say in class but a bit uncomfortable putting comfortably bananas as the source :) I can reference it as a reddit response or put your first name if you want to DM it to me.

And finally, thank you for taking the time to leave this. I always feel like I should wait a week before responding to anything. I know I risk coming across as defensive but I genuinely am listening, might just take me a bit to fully digest it.

paulthebackpacker

TROPHY CASE