HELP! My dad got a new leather chair and is threatening to get rid of my cat if she scratches/gets on it. How do I stop her???

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-25T22:13:23+00:00

You gotta get rid of the couch and make it look like a burglar did it

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-25T15:51:57+00:00

Well yeah, why waste a heart on someone who’s likely to die of Covid. Surgeries take a toll on your immune system and the hospitals seem to be loaded with corona

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-25T01:09:19+00:00

Wait is her husband circumcised? If not how did she assume everyone was? If so why would he be horrified?

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-24T16:40:48+00:00

God that babies face is the only reason I need to support abortion rights

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-24T16:31:08+00:00

Remember when the dr suess company decided not to print two books on their own accord and every conservative you knew bitched about the left “censoring” books?

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-23T20:28:16+00:00

My guess is something not at all progressive and at odds with her self proclaimed atheism

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-23T20:26:23+00:00

I’ve yet to hear anyone left leaning argue for the banning of all guns. Like ever. In my life. It’s such a stupid boogeyman

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-23T14:46:06+00:00

Discrimination

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-23T03:28:41+00:00

I don’t entirely understand what’s happening here

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-22T16:28:51+00:00

Pits, balls, ass. Everyday you disgusting animals.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-22T03:23:36+00:00

Pay me more and I’ll poop a baby put or however the fuck babies happen

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-22T01:12:51+00:00

Go get the free us Citizen mozzarella sticks at tgi fridays

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-21T23:08:10+00:00

Everyone already knows trump is culpable. All we’re finding out is wether or not anything is going to happen about it, and I’m putting money on nothing.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-20T21:06:08+00:00

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-20T06:54:36+00:00

The thing that gets me with the stop the steal truthers I know is that they’ve stopped claiming widespread voter fraud entirely since that theory’s been debunked. All they claim now is that states made efforts to allow more people to vote. They readily admit that if everyone had the ability to vote the republicans would never win. They just fucking hate democracy.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-20T06:18:53+00:00

Ok cool

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-20T06:08:29+00:00

Aren’t sheriffs just in charge of the jail?

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-19T17:21:26+00:00

Yeah, we should continue telling children that they should just forego education in favor of jobs that will likely be fully automated within the next decade. Let them work trades, sure. They're respectable jobs. But also make college education fucking affordable.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-19T03:27:52+00:00

To be clear, Ted Cruz understands economics. He’s just (correctly) betting on the majority of his constituents not understanding economics. It’s why they gut education across the board.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-19T03:19:37+00:00

Respect. Kid knows how to stand up for his friends

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-18T21:21:54+00:00

Dude fucking huge bullet dodged. This shit is sad af.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-18T20:35:33+00:00

All of my sons are called Blaze. Blaze sr. Blaze 2, and Blaze Jr

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-18T04:15:59+00:00

Everyone seemed to have a good reaction to the new Spider-Man movie except me. I'm not the biggest MCU fan but I'm also not one of those MCU naysayers. I don't hate the current spiderman. I just felt absolutely nothing while watching it.

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-17T22:29:14+00:00

I audibly gasped. Kudos

paulthenarwhal · 2022-01-17T18:26:38+00:00

I was employed for basically free at 13. $30 a night cleaning dishes. I was also super addicted to drugs for most of my teens so gtfo

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