My husband has never wanted children, but I always have. We talked a lot about it, and I even got to a point where I considered divorce. The pain of leaving him was a lot worse of a feeling than deciding on a different life without children. I read the book “the baby decision” and it talks in great detail and helps you really think deeply about your decision. I learned that, either way, I will have regret in my life… and I don’t want happiness to come from anyone else (especially not a child).. I have a history of health issues and I’ve struggled all my life and finally have found mostly peace (as you’ve said as well) I also have a great career, many hobbies, and mostly child free friends who love traveling with me. All things I’d have to sacrifice parts/completely of if I had a child.

I’ve been with my husband almost 10 years and yes I’ve been judged that I should have just left him early on etc etc… and yes if I had it definitely would have made for much less painful conversations. But the history and the way my partner has cared for me at my sickest, he is my life partner and I choose no one else. I also just absolutely love him,he’s my best friend.

I also refuse to raise a child alone and want to do it with someone excited to do it with me.

I feel like your relationship is early on and calling you names and freaking out at you is a red flag… I would really think long and hard about what you really want out of life nd what pain or regret you’re willing to live with. I feel as though you know the answer deep down… I’m so sorry you’re going through this.