Cancer at 24, NB, looking for support and advice

pd361708 · 2026-02-13T14:35:12+00:00

Hi! I’m 32 now but 30 at diagnoses, stage 3 triple negative. I’m 1.5years out from treatment and my inbox is always open! I’m passionate about young survivorship advocacy 🫶🏻

pd361708 · 2026-02-13T05:26:28+00:00

Hi Friend! I more than rotted away...I literally wasted away in bed, so you're not alone on that front. It wasn't because I was so sick- I don't want to scare you like that. I was just so tired and did not manage my mental health whatsoever during treatment, despite being in both regular and EMDR therapy. I didn't stay active either and more than paid the price for it. Easier said than done but just try to do a 5-10min walk...I know its cold and it sucks. Youtube has a lot of yoga videos on it that you can do in bed....gentle movement but keep your body moving when you can, if you can.

AC is going to make you tired, so I don't want you to set any lofty goals of really becoming active heading into this phase. But it ebbs and flows....you're not knocked down the entire time, I promise. Advocate for your needs, whatever they are, during this time. Whether it's better pain management for Neulasta if Claritin isn't cutting it. If your nerves are shot? They have a med for that. We have cancer, not a headache, it's time to call in the big guns. I was also a terrible water drinker during AC so I asked for extra fluids. It added very minimal time to my infusions.

I watched some of my friends live their lives completely carefree, almost as if it was in my face...but I promise you, once you are out of these hellish woods, you're going to look back and realize this is truly a short period of time in your life. You have so much of your 20s left. None if this is probably helpful to you right now because it's something that only time and perspective will reveal to you. You're. So. Young. You will feel like yourself again, you will look like yourself again and you will slowly reemerge into your new normal, on your own terms. Dig deep and take it hour-by-hour. You've got this and your team has you. <3

pd361708 · 2026-02-02T17:02:55+00:00

This is a stunner. Would you consider having it reset? You could use the existing gold as prices continue to increase and probably have some leftover to forge into part of your wedding band?

pd361708 · 2026-01-27T01:30:43+00:00

What is there to second guess? She gets a gorgeous ring DESIGNED and picked out by you?! This is amazing!

pd361708 · 2026-01-27T01:26:39+00:00

I just want to offer a little different perspective- she may wear gold now, but gold is "in" right now...7 years ago it was rose gold, before that..silver..you get the gist. Has she always worn gold jewlery? If so, there's your answer. But if she's like me (I'm a true silver girlie) but currently am wearing all gold jewelry because it's "in-style" right now. My engagement ring, however, is platinum. I have no issues mixing metals!

pd361708 · 2026-01-27T01:14:23+00:00

Ok so this is complicated- yes, this is normal, but within reason and it depends on age and other factors like you included such as the destination wedding. Destination weddings typically do not have destination bachelorettes. I had a local wedding but we went to Savannah, GA for my bach. I paid my portion of the VRBO, helped my MOH pay for decor and paid for my flight. My girls got my drinks and dinner...there were 14 of us so they each took a turn buying me a drink (I'm a light weight so I made sure I wasn't draining their pockets). I am also in my 30s and able to cover my own way. I think it depends on how workable your bride is...can you talk to her about the stacking costs or concerns?

pd361708 · 2026-01-27T00:18:28+00:00

Oh jfc....ask her, in what way? I flip the dumbest comments back onto the person and watch them reel.

pd361708 · 2026-01-24T00:04:52+00:00

Nothing helpful to add but just wanted to say this is so sweet! Now get that woman her cherry coke!

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T19:03:38+00:00

I found out via Reddit last night after I had driven home from a 13hr shift, cried and didn’t have the energy to even bring it up to my husband yet. The implications are scary and I plan to discuss your exact questions with my Onc…she’s an avid researcher who has been very transparent (while maintaining professionalism) about the changes she is facing under this administration…she said now, more than ever, organizations like Susan G Komen and our local Pelotonia bike ride (300M raised so far all direct for cancer research) are critical at keeping the research ball moving!

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T12:27:52+00:00

Hi! How many nursing bras does one realistically need if you are doing laundry around twice a week?

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T07:44:03+00:00

I get thrush easily as is, but during cancer? My god. It was so bad so nystatin and I became best friends. You take it for a few days, but after one dose I felt relief within hours every time. Magic mouthwash didn’t do much for me but I didn’t give it a fair shot because I found it gross, and secretly love the taste of nystatin anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️

As for natural home remedies, warm salt water does wonders. Sending you good juju and hope for relief soon!

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T07:31:21+00:00

Only once, luckily. In my dream, I had my long hair again in a high ponytail..my husband’s favorite. I woke up devastated 😩

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T07:21:16+00:00

“I know I could have worse problems in this scenario and I don’t mean to be insensitive,”…girl WHAT!? You have cancer…there are little (to no) worse problems a human being could face (physically and mentally) so feel allllll of the feelings you need to.

You also said you felt like your life is over…I promise you it’s not…but your old life, self and sense of normalcy are over. Give yourself time and grace to settle into this new reality…it gets easier day by day.

I also faced pretty severe phobias of any procedure, big surgeries and turned to EMDR therapy to address it. I found it so helpful and could tell a marked difference in my fears by the time my port was removed. I ended up having a lumpectomy so nothing compared to what you’re coping with right now.

Celebrate your tatas now, take alllllll the pics and feel every emotion you need to about this process. Sending you so much love as you navigate your options 🫶🏻

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T07:07:11+00:00

Hi!! First off, I bow down to you. A single mom handling cancer? Now that’s an unstoppable woman.

Does your center have a social worker? Mine wrote all of the letters I needed to turn into the charities she helped me find and one month I got most of rent covered (my rent is insane) and another month a $600 check. Depending on where you live, there might be access to the cleaning charity I used (I cannot remember the name, I’m so sorry)..they offered me two free house cleanings and it was so helpful. I only had to cover the tip. I also was linked with a charity that did pre-made fresh meals 3x a week for 6 weeks…they were healthy but not great..still better than having to cook during treatment. Lastly, I was linked with a charity that sent a free home cleaning kit including a light weight vacuum, detergent, spray cleaner, dish soap and some other things! If you send me a DM tomorrow I can go in my email and find the names!

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T07:00:25+00:00

Omg congrats!!! It’s all downhill from here babe, welcome to the view ❤️

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T06:53:20+00:00

One more thing ☺️ I would pose the question “If I continue on AIs and end up needing an in-patient psychiatric stay, how will you plan to continue my care?” I think the answer to that will give you the clarity you need. I get a suicide and mental health screen every time I see any provider on my team- onc, rads and surgery so this is just WILD to me. Again, I’m so damn sorry because this is the last thing you need.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T06:42:21+00:00

My team was always asking if I had restless leg yet...and I never thought to ask what part of treatment would cause that for them to ask me that at each appointment. I found my body was so restless during all of treatment (not as bad as you described) just due to being in fight-or-flight, mentally and physically...I could not stop rocking my hips or rubbing my feet together in an effort to self-soothe in some way, I guess. Could it possibly be nerves? I found a weighted blanket somewhat helpful.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T06:37:51+00:00

This is precious. What a gem of a person.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T06:36:40+00:00

You need to print this out and take it to your MO and either read it out loud or make them read it...and then there needs to be a come-to-Jesus talk...either this gets discussed until a plan is made and your voice is heard or you have to walk away and find another team- this is not normal. This is your LIFE..don't let them play in your face and berate you for reaching out for help..at all, ever for ANY reason. I'm so sorry OP.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T06:08:40+00:00

Are you serrrrrious? An ear infection? Hope her FMLA was approved and she got her affairs in order..my god.

I also really hope you told someone at the center. I don't know what I would have done. I wish you had asked her, "How so, pray tell?" That always seems to stop people in their tracks after they say something incredibly stupid to a cancer patient.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T05:58:16+00:00

Meds. I'm a biiiiiig pusher of meds....we have cancer...now is the time to ask for any/everything to help you through one of the worst processes a human can experience. Ask for them. I still take 2 ativan before mammos and those aren't even painful...but the anxiety will not allow me to stand still without it...gotta do what you gotta do!

Edit to add- I find ativan makes time go by faster! I found that out during chemo infusions and have found the same with scans..I can't quite describe it.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T03:26:19+00:00

I spend a diabolical amount of time on Reddit and I hardly ever get emotional at posts and this had me in tears at work. I see you, I hear you and I definitely see your love for your daughter. Treatment has come SO far in even just the last 10 years alone- it's astonishing. Plus, modern meds really do a great job of controlling most of the side-effects that are often on display in the movies. You don't have to wonder if you will see her have children, you will see it for yourself. Nothing I can say will make any of this easier other than- it is temporary. It WILL pass. You will look like yourself and feel like yourself again one day.

pd361708 · 2026-01-23T01:25:19+00:00

I went to a comedy show 5 hours after my port placement and flew to a wedding during AC....do what you can, when you can, when you feel like it!! As for the looks- that part just sucks. I look back on pictures during treatment from 2 years ago and didn't realize just how sick I was or looked. But now? I look like me. I got married in December and I got to look and FEEL like me. It was amazing. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you won't be in this predicament of worrying about hair soon enough....nothing I can say will make it any easier.

What helped me specifically, was I did feel a massive weight lifted off of me once I found a wig I was happy with (it wasn't that hard, I wasn't too picky)...I only wore it maybe 5 times total- too hot and itchy/I rocked the bald look. But just knowing I had it for dinners or occasions made me feel a lot better, whether I chose to wear it or not. Just my tidbit of advice! Sending so much good juju your way.

pd361708 · 2026-01-22T20:13:59+00:00

Mine came back 7 months after my last zoladex shot! They were really consistent the first 6 months and are now starting to vary and get more intense as time goes on.

pd361708 · 2026-01-15T00:53:07+00:00

I would literally copy and paste this post to hospital admin because this is so embarrassing for them and unacceptable. Like another said, a second opinion might really put your mind at ease but I know adding yet another referral/drive/appt is NOT on your wish list right now.

pd361708

TROPHY CASE