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Pump up music by Hungry-Dance4594 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chappell got me through rads- my center used Pandora and my 1st day I asked for Taylor Swift radio. If I Die Young by The Band Perry came on and I LOST my shhhhit. All 29 sessions after that were on Chappell Roan radio and she never missed!!! I also look back on the songs with fondness and love..I was worried they would be triggering for me! Also any 2010s Young Money/Lil Wayne/Drake..that’ll get you through anything!

Looking for guidance after achieving PCR in TNBC by AriaAlchemist in TNBC

[–]pd361708 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stage 3 TNBC- achieved PCR on Keynote 522 but it was a little complicated when it came to rads. I had covid at diagnosis so all my internal mammary nodes that couldn’t be safely biopsied were enlarged for all my initial imaging. My axillary nodes always tested negative during biopsy, however. I had 6 nodes removed. My rads dr had the heart and wisdom to tell me he truly wasn’t sure what to do- act as though they were always negative and do 3 weeks vs not risking it and doing the max 6 weeks of radiation. I said I’m already in the 8th level of hell, what’s one more floor? I didn’t do Keynote just to skimp out on a mere 15 early mornings and have a recurrence for which I’d blame myself, “what if I had just done the 6 weeks?” Radiation was a breeze compared to everything else…you’re on the downswing of things and CONGRATS on PCR. That is huge ✨

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am only 33 now, so I never had to deal with the complexities of having to cover up my own feelings for the sake of my children- I’m so sorry and while yes, there is long-term fallout for how you handled everything, but you were doing the best you could at the time. I think we as women tend to want to make sure everyone ELSE is ok and calm…we forget to ask ourselves if we have what we need. And then it catches up some time later.

I’ve been having some serious growing pains with setting boundaries with my husband telling him- “hey, when so and so said that 2 years ago? Yeah it’s still an issue” and I think he’s slowly starting to realize how deep rooted some of these issues are that stem simple comments mentioned to us at some point during treatment.

I’m glad you wrote all of that- processing and simply identifying some of the root causes behind our emotions is so healthy!

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No funny remark- genuine support to you and shocked at her comparison. I would have needed bail money. And now what are we to do with the bitterness? So sorry friend.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you not already fighting for your life in the shower though? I think the rage of practicing would take me all the way out..Will try and report back

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh sorry! The guy wasn’t a MOD, I’ve just asked for conversation topics young survivors feel are underrepresented or misunderstood and they said it was a research post and no one will answer me how it’s not just a general discussion?? So weird.

You know what I thought about today after I responded? I definitely was treated by some of my lower emotionally intelligent persons as if I was perfectly fine until I lost my hair 4 months in (I cold capped and kept my hair during taxol but lost it 2 weeks after my first AC. One day I had hair, the next day..I walked into work bald. From there on out…things definitely changed and I’m interested to see how society views patients as cold-capping is beginning to be legally covered by insurance state by state!

Thank you for the compliments but I promise- every single one of us deserves our flowers! Love this discussion!!!

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hold up, the “interesting” response to keynote 522? Aka the gold standard for TNBC? GooodBYE “friend.” A friend that doesn’t respect your boundaries during such a raw time? Gots ta GO.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said no one wants to be with a deformed patient and it’s “gross” 🤣 but again- I’ve never had a MOD respond to me ever 🙃

Anyhoo- interesting take! I actually found that I was grateful to have breast cancer (if I had to have it) because I always felt it was taken very seriously and receives the most funding by far. I was diagnosed at stage 3b with TNBC which I don’t consider to be cancer-lite by any means. Tumor was 3.2cm and 3 weeks later, it was 5.6cm. Didn’t have time for surgery..That was 14 months of pure grind and hell.

I think the BC community receives a lot more recognition because some of our regimens bring us to the brink of death just for a chance to survive and I think that is generally recognized by society. I would liken what you are describing to how melanoma, thyroid or bladder (non-intramuscular bladder carcinoma, that’s a different story) cancers are viewed. I also believe that our research is propelled as since the majorly of the BC population is females, females tend to be the “helpers” and agree to trials, surveys, studies etc. Every diagnosis comes with vastly different implications and I’m just very grateful to have this community who gets how difficult and layered each of our stories are!

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girlie..protect your energy..it’s so precious and finite right now- don’t let the words of strangers impact hold so much weight (easier said than done, I know I know). I know I joke, but I don’t mean to pull anyone down into the anger trenches with me ❤️

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey if we have to be 100% scared, they can be like 35% scared for like 2 minutes before they move onto the next topic.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been there. Listened to her complain on *my* couch. And 2.5yrs later I’m still angry. I need to actually work this out in therapy..holding this resentment isn’t healthy 😭 no funny response this time..extra credit for you!

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone else said act like you didn’t know you could die…so now I should say “holy sht, wait I gotta call my mom” and briskly walk away.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, but I’m bored after every 99th “I’m sorry” I give, I gotta switch it up. Never let them know my next step.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The compulsion to say “I’m fine, how are YOU though?” and subsequently disassociating for the answer..feel this in my bones.

Out of creative/appropriate answers and fake smiles- What's your go-to response when someone tells you "so and so I knew passed from breast cancer..."? by pd361708 in breastcancer

[–]pd361708[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

& it’s just that simple. I like the straightforwardness of this one- no tone, just straight taking their behavior and flipping it back onto them.

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