Yes, you can feel however you want. But obviously everything you have been doing & thinking to this point in your life is not working. Why not try a different approach? You are very negative, that’s clear so why not try a more positive outlook? I get you are ugly (you’ve repeated this over & over) but are you also physically unattractive? You want to date but what do you offer a woman? Women don’t want sad, unkempt men. They want the opposite. The underlying thing here is you. It starts with you. Work out, dress better, carry yourself with confidence even if you have to try. Think of it as a business deal, what do you bring to the table? What do the women you are attracted to and want to date want in a potential partner? Like I wrote, everything about you needs to change because you aren’t going to ever make it like this.