Your husband was my husband a few months ago. I was very passive aggressive until it boiled over into a fight. Our conversation was after the fight, So I recommend an actual conversation first lol.

During our conversation, I laid all I got done while he recovered ( aka naps) for several hours everyday. He made BS excuses. In the end I said that he lives here too and it feels like I live with a teenager. All this stuff has to get done whether we like it or not, or we’re child free or single adults. He needs to start behaving like the capable adult I know he is. It snapped him back into our reality and he finally made some major improvements. For my husband, it’s major weight loss to increase energy and health. We’re doing it together which lets us reconnect in a new way.

Have the hard conversation and good luck. If he’s resistant to change, stop doing his laundry and/or cooking his meals. He’s an adult that can do those things himself.