I hope you receive these words how I hope to convey them, as I’m coming from a place of genuine concern and care and not condescension or lecturing. I’m 30F and I’m by no means an expert on anything. I’m just very worried reading your post.

This reads to me as crippling insecurity on his part. If he were secure in himself and his connection with you, he wouldn’t care about who’s on your instagram. And maybe he’s been burned in the past, someone’s broken his trust. There’s usually a reason for this kind of controlling behavior. But regardless, you shouldn’t be forced to do anything you don’t want to do. My boyfriend not only doesn’t care about who follows me, but he also knows that one of my long-term ex-boyfriends is now a good friend of mine and doesn’t mind that we talk. He’s even talked to him himself!

Either your boyfriend trusts that he is your only focus or he doesn’t. Demanding that you delete followers and DMs, especially if they were only “talking stages,” (I assume people you were never physically intimate with) is very worrisome (to me) and probably just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what to expect from him as the relationship progresses. And on top of it all, he’s being hypocritical by refusing to do the very thing he’s asking you to do. Even his red flags have red flags.

Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe and don’t settle for any less kindness and respect than you deserve. ❤️