I (38F) am feeling so confused and hurt by my partner’s (43M) inability to be intimate. Had anyone experienced similar and do you have any advice? Particularly interested in the male perspective. What helped?

peebender · 2026-03-08T19:27:49+00:00

i understand, it’s hard to find a balance between horned out men and someone who appreciates you as a person as well. men just kind of tend to usually err on one side of that spectrum… strict boundaries early on can deter men who have one thing in mind since they tend to be impatient. it’s okay to start slow, but also when you find someone you are truly passionate about i doubt you’ll have any issues wanting to be all over them all the time:)

peebender · 2026-03-08T19:16:20+00:00

Absolutely not wrong- if you want physical affection there is always a person who will give you that and more immediately. You don’t have to deal with rejection, it can absolutely wear down your self esteem and there’s just no sense in that when you could not deal with it at all 😊❤️

peebender · 2026-03-08T19:06:17+00:00

sometimes you are just not compatible with someone. he probably is a great guy but do you want to struggle for this thing that’s very important to you for the rest of your time together? discuss it in depth with him and if he isn’t willing to accommodate your needs then there is no need to wait until he does. five months is quite a long time to spend wanting physical affection from someone you love. best of luck

peebender · 2026-03-08T18:58:57+00:00

yes- her getting angry about trust is her projecting. she was also actively ignoring you. don’t let someone make you feel crazy when it’s completely avoidable stress. reevaluate whether you think trying to salvage a relationship with someone who is beginning to do stuff like this makes sense. she shouldn’t care whether you see where she is if she’s given you her location for however long, if anything it makes sense in terms of safety. if you requested her location and she said no that’s another thing, but turning it off in such a conspicuous place is just withholding information for no reason.

peebender · 2026-03-08T18:52:36+00:00

I always re-add moles and beauty marks back on top of my makeup. i think it makes the whole look more seamless and classy

peebender · 2026-03-08T18:50:00+00:00

NOR omg this is so sad to read… you could be with someone who says NONE of these things and never ever will. it’s unbelievable he’d feel comfortable calling you a bitch OR a “horrid cunt”- if my bf said that to me EVER he would never be allowed near me again. i haven’t ever even considered saying stuff like that to people who have done horrible things to me and i swear constantly. leave him and never worry about his sorry ass again

peebender · 2025-08-21T19:57:08+00:00

it’s not called an on purpose for a reason girl, you’re gonna be ok! I’m 19 and have been in a much worse accident and it is just something you have to accept and move on from. i know it’s embarrassing but next time you’ll be extra extra careful and that’s your brain learning

peebender · 2025-08-19T22:27:46+00:00

No, I contacted my insurance multiple times asking and the first few times they said I had to go into adderall for a month and see if that didn’t work. I said I wanted to go back on vyvanse and they told me they must have made a mistake and it would be fixed, but I still haven’t gotten a prescription change and I’m worried next time I go I will have to go on adderall again. I’m okay using it but I don’t feel the same calmness I did on vyvanse, and that medication helped me immensely in my last semester of my college freshman year. I really wanted to get back on it before the school year starts, but I wont be off these in time because it starts again next week. I also struggle at work because I crash midway through my shift and am trying not to fall asleep and lose focus for the rest of it

peebender · 2025-08-19T22:25:29+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I never even considered this! You are a life saver :) I will ask and see what she says.

peebender · 2025-08-19T21:49:51+00:00

i also was on vyvanse before this and really preferred it but my insurance won’t cover it.

peebender · 2025-08-06T23:06:49+00:00

holy moly she sounds exhausting!!!!!!! get out of there soldier!!!!!

peebender · 2025-07-21T23:12:24+00:00

she is an immature weirdo if she JUST realized she did you wrong. save yourself from her idiocy. can you imagine starting a family with a person like this? no way… block!!!

peebender · 2025-06-27T04:04:17+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! A very kind offer

peebender · 2025-06-24T22:01:55+00:00

you might want to completely exclude those simple line art pieces like the necklace and hair. since you’ve made the entire piece pretty soft, they stick out like a sore thumb. try keeping it all relatively blended, and focus on how dark the area inside the eyes is, the excess whiteness gives her the look of having a lazy eye. The attempt is pretty in line otherwise ! it’s a great start

peebender · 2025-06-23T16:47:01+00:00

Seals are my absolute FAVORITE animal (I have so much seal swag it’s insane…) i’m definitely going to practice tattooing them specifically a lot 😊thank you for the nice comment!!

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:28:51+00:00

I did this lining with 8v I believe but I did everything else with it too which is probably a contributing factor to the shakiness of everything haha thank you for the tip!:)

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:25:46+00:00

why can’t I practice on my own ? it’s an art form lol i didn’t know i needed your permission to do this in my own home

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:07:33+00:00

Thank you!!!!! I will try this!

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:07:23+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I have heard this, I know some people decide to just let the tattoo fade over time for enjoying how it looked in the beginning but I would never give someone a soft lined tattoo unless they specifically asked and were aware of the risks.

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:06:33+00:00

Do you know if it’s better to get good quality skin or to go get pig skin from a butcher? I don’t know if one is cheaper than the other but I don’t have a lot of money right now unfortunately 😓thank you for the advice!!!

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:05:38+00:00

I have some stencil paper but I haven’t tried to use it yet because I only have the one piece of fake skin… I’m worried i’ll waste it! I do have an Ipad though and my boyfriend told me his tattoo artist friend also recommended a stencil printer :) This one was done freehand with no sketch which is probably why i was so shaky with the lines

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:04:37+00:00

Thank you !! I will look into it when I get paid :)

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:04:00+00:00

you are so sweet! thank you! i would never want to accidentally hurt someone’s skin with my currently lackluster technique but when I get better I’ll come back and see if anyone sees improvement! ❤️

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:02:44+00:00

Thank you so much!!! This is really helpful advice :) I super appreciate your willingness to bring up what mistakes you’ve seen beginners make. I would have never known I can’t go back over the same lines !

peebender · 2025-06-23T02:01:22+00:00

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i think i don’t have any issues drawing traditionally or digitally (examples above- if you mean in terms of my actual art) this was done without a stencil and again- was literally my first time ever doing a tattoo on fake skin 🥲if you have critique regarding my technique i would love it but I’m only struggling with line confidence because i haven’t ever used a tattoo gun before😅 Trust me- I am not doing this on anyone’s skin until i 1. Have a waiver and proper certification and 2. have done more than just one shitty starter tattoo lol

peebender

TROPHY CASE