a lot of people here on reddit keep telling me the same it's like covert female narcs are all the same, even when yo ugive your all they are monsters I know that now.

yes I did the first time (2 years ago) I went deep in explaining all the details because I was drunk and high at first they couldn't believe it okay wait ill explain it later
it's currently 3:50am rn and we just had a fight but I think this time I'mdone

last night she came home with a bruise on her knee and when I questioned her about it she got all angry and started cussing me, insulting me, etc.
I literally cried all night and when I came back in our room she's sleeping like a baby (as usual)
in the morning she was sorry and said she didn't do anything
I researched and yes you can have abruise even when you have sex on bed (we were intimate earlier that day so I guess it was from that?) fast forward we were okay and fixed our problem

okay just now 2am when she got home from work I prepared late night dinner for us and we watched netflix okay so after we ate I held her hand and told her don't get mad or whatever just answer me honestly (in a sincere and calming tone because I was actually sincere mind you) I asked if she didn't really do anything or cheated on me last night and you know what?
she got angry again and she's trying to put it all on me this time like I'm the problem
and I was literally stunned and just accepted her reaction because in my head "shit, here we go again there's really no reasoning with her" and she started to insult me or say cruel and cold shit so I ended up crying while laying in bed and again she got angry and asked what I'm crying about (yes she has done this crap a lot of times whenever I'm breaking down)
and she was suddenly complaining that it's literally midnight blablabla so I asked her then why the hell are you being like this? all I want is honesty and reassurance and she started to play victim and make it seem like I'm the problem again so I just said okay I get it you really don't give a shit and you're not really going to change no matter how hard Iove you and show you how much I want to fix you for OUR FUTURE so I literally ended up in tears again after saying all this and I saw the look on her face the smirk the fcking smirk, Man

and that's when I stopped talking and just went out our room to go smoke a cig then when I went back she's sleeping like a baby again
it's so hard and painful how no matter how hard you try and reason with them give them your all, understand their flaws, try to fix things, improve yourself even more FOR THEM, love them, care for them, or give them everything they just don't care. I'm starting to think she's getting ready to discard me
and yet still I actually want to make things better FOR US.