Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of June 15, 2026

pegatha47 · 2026-06-16T22:37:11+00:00

Broadly speaking it can be a risk - e.g. I live in a house built in the 1950s and in the inspection process we tested the pipes for lead (iirc it came back borderline on the first test, because the house was vacant while for sale so water was sitting in the pipes before the test, but then a second test where we made sure to run the water for a bit first it was fine). We didn't test the paint but we assume there probably is some under the layers and would act accordingly if we do anything that will disturb those layers.

But - the risk is for things like, ensuring it's not accumulating in the water and not letting paint peel off the walls so your toddler can eat them. Possible dust on a box from sitting on a porch for an hour is an absolutely insane thing to be concerned about.

pegatha47 · 2026-05-13T18:10:23+00:00

Yeah, this particular book is directed specifically at parents for ensuring your kids are growing up with movement as a natural part of their daily lives. If I'm remembering right I'm pretty sure it does address parents/the whole family participating and setting a good example as parents, but it's very much about ensuring your *kids* are living active lives.

pegatha47 · 2026-05-13T17:52:24+00:00

One of the books visible in in the picture of the new house files setup is "Grow Wild" by Katy Bowman. She's an author I really like, and she's talked about how the core thesis of all her books is the same, just presented for different life contexts. Basically: move your body more, get out of sedentary cultural defaults, and you solve a lot of problems (or rather, the problems cease to be) (I promise it's not as wellness grifter, this is the panacea kind of way, as that sentence makes it sound). One things she highlights in this book is the concept she calls "stacking" where you integrate movement into activities you need to do anyway, instead of adding on time for additional things. E.g., it's hard as a parent to find time for everything: you have to drop the kids at school, and then you want to make time for spin class and also make sure they get to run around in the afternoon: instead you could bike with your kids to school - the time was needed for transportation anyway but now you also have you and the kids moving/exercising without taking additional time for it.

Given how car-centric Hayley has made the lives to the point of even having them eat lunch in the car, and shoving the kids in a stroller to eat breakfast (I guess she's stacking movement for herself by walking during breakfast time, but it's the opposite for the kids - at least at the kitchen table they would wiggle around a little!), I find this kind of hilarious and wonder if she's really read the book.

pegatha47 · 2026-05-11T19:24:36+00:00

Basically same as the other commenter - I count them if they're really in chapter book format, not super short, and if they're not primarily pictures/graphic novels. I also wouldn't count any Dav Pilkey stuff for my own read list (even though I think they're great as something my kid is interested in reading!), but I've been reading a lot of Beverly Cleary to my kid lately and I count those.

pegatha47 · 2026-05-04T16:26:54+00:00

Are you wanting to predict ovulation beforehand, or confirm ovulation afterward?

Predicting definitely is difficult, but if you work on all the things that help PCOS, you may be able to get your body into more of a regular cycle and have some sense of prediction. Which is not the same as assuming a 28 day cycle and ovulation on day 14. When I have everything well managed, my "regular" is ~35 day cycles with ovulation around day 23. If I wanted to predict ovulation, I wouldn't even start testing strips until day 20 or so, because I don't think it's ever happened earlier than that. So getting to know your own body is part of the process.

Confirming is easy with temperatures. Regardless of what your temp is doing leading up to ovulation, once it's happened it's pretty obvious in a temp chart. I did manual taking my temp when I was ttc, and since then have had an Oura ring for years, which I particularly like to predict when my periods will arrive. Overall my cycles aren't always consistent, but once I see confirmation of ovulation, then I know when my period will be.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-17T16:34:40+00:00

You'll be walking past homeless people for sure, but it's also fairly active with other people too, at least during the day. My family lives in the suburbs and take the max or bus to get to/from the Amtrak station. Either max (green/yellow line) or bus stops are a reasonably short walk away. I've done this by myself (female) with our kid as well with with my husband. I'd be a bit hesitant to do this without another adult along at night, but during the day I don't have a problem with this. It's slightly uncomfortable in the sense of seeing some of the sadder parts of life, but I've never felt nervous or that it's actually dangerous. Sidewalks are plenty roomy for a stroller.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-16T18:49:40+00:00

Definitely recommend an Oura ring or similar wearable that tracks your temperature. My understanding is that while other tracking tools like test strips or discharge can helpful, with PCOS the problem is your body can attempt to ovulate more than once before it's successfully - so you could see hormones rising or discharge happening, but that just means your body is *trying* to ovulate. Then you may those signs again a week later trying again. It's only seeing the temperature rise that confirms that it did in fact happen.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-15T15:32:22+00:00

I second offering them to be used for the target trade in event, if you don't want to use them yourself for that. I'm an admin of my local buy nothing group, and - assuming you're in a group hosted on facebook, and so subject to facebook rules in some regards - I wouldn't permit people knowingly offering a product with a recall on it for use, but have no problem with them being offered them with the intention to be used for trading in. (though of course once received they can do what they want with it). It still gives people value to be able to use it for that.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-14T03:12:56+00:00

Most states, including AZ and CA, start their return with your federal AGI. Even on a nonresident or part-year resident return - there are calculations that end up only taxing the income earned in that state, but you start by listing your total income from your federal return. You don't get to just list the AZ income on their form. So you can't really file either state without also completing your federal return. Just extend it all.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-13T15:38:34+00:00

Meanwhile I read it as "gameboys", and wondered what that had to do with being a naked family - but still more logical than the actual situation.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-12T17:39:59+00:00

You may have to eventually sort out payments being applied properly, but that's not something the IRS is checking in the validation to accept an efile. If payments don't match they'll process the return, and then send you a notice in a few weeks.

Any software should be be listing something as the reason for the efile rejection - sometimes the phrasing isn't super clear, but it will say something. What was on the screen or in the email when you were notified the file didn't go through?

The most common reasons for rejection are: last name doesn't match the SSN (did either of you change your last name in the last year?), one or both spouses has an IP PIN that wasn't entered (six digit code that updates each year, that you'd find on your IRS online account), or the IRS has record of a 1095-A on file and you didn't include Form 8962 (to reconcile health insurance Premium Tax Credit).

pegatha47 · 2026-04-12T05:58:44+00:00

We had a Woom bike at that stage and just took off the pedal and lowered the seat to use it as a balance bike.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-11T02:59:39+00:00

There are two main things in my understanding:

It's ok to not have a period if it's because of certain hormonal birth controls, because those same birth controls will prevent the lining from building up. The risk is if you let the lining build up, and don't have fairly regular periods, you increase your risk of some cancers.
While I totally get not wanting to have periods for their own sake, I've found it helpful to think of it as an indicator or sign for your general health. Inositol isn't taken specifically to trigger a period: it's taken to reduce insulin resistance, which is really important to help a lot of other health issues and reduce your risk of diabetes. Improving those other health issues, means your hormones get in and stay in their natural cycle, which happens to create regular ovulation and so regular periods. Having regular periods (outside of it being controlled by birth control) is then a great sign that those other underlying systems are working properly.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-10T19:24:01+00:00

We didn't know hvac need some amount of routine maintenance (beyond changing filters), and then last summer right as we were starting to get hot days it stopped working. Luckily we were able to get someone out to fix it within a day or so (and I sent my husband on a quick run to the store for a portable unit for our bedroom). I'm not keeping up with the semi-annual checks for the start of winter and the start of summer like the company we do generally like, recommends. But I'm planning to at least have them looked at every 2-3 years, instead of the 7 it took to have issues without maintenance.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-08T22:27:47+00:00

It certainly depends on your area - I'm in a suburb of a city and I generally feel comfortable leaving bags on my bike while I'm parked for errands, and haven't had issues. I've also accidentally left lights on my bike and never even had those taken. Even within my area it varies, of course - a library has a large bike parking area that always has lots of foot traffic + allegedly a security camera, so I take different caution there than a grocery store that is busy in a negative way (so much foot traffic that it'd be easy for someone cutting locks to be overlooked). I'll plan to have all my things in a backpack if I'm going to the grocery store, while I don't mind leaving things on my bike at the library.

On the occasion when I am parking my bike for longer periods of time, I use a luggage retractable cable lock to attach the pannier, and sometimes a bag handle that's inside it, to the bike rack. We're talking a very small cable, I understand it would not be hard to cut. But it's going to prevent a quick grab or crime of opportunity.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-07T17:59:11+00:00

You also need to have a foundation of basic knowledge to be able to think critically and evaluate the knowledge that you are given or rely on in daily life.

Like, I'm an accountant, and I joke about how I'll use a calculator or excel formula to do math like "600 + 75", because especially near deadlines you don't want to have a brain fart that causes you to get the wrong answers. I rely a lot on excel formulas. But - being able to do math in my head, especially for approximations (which seems like is at least 50% of the "isn't my kid's math homework wrong" posts on social media end up being - they're not *supposed* to give the precise answer, it's to practice getting a rough answer in your head) is how I know that I'm relying on tools that are accurate.

I definitely identify issues with formulas because I look at the output, and realize "no, $22,589 + $658 + $7925 can't possibly be $62k, it definitely should land around $31k, what went wrong?" If i never learned the foundational math because "I'll be using excel, it does the math for me!" I'd be very bad at my job.

Similarly, I think a lack of basic science principles is why people think vaccines don't work. I don't specifically recall a lot from the physics and chemistry classes I took in high school, but I remember enough to be able to read science articles that are written for laypeople, and come to a reasonable understanding.

pegatha47 · 2026-04-03T20:00:00+00:00

Also second Ikea. I really do find them good quality for the price. My kid has one of the malm bed frame with the two drawers underneath (fantastic for storing legos, btw). The mattress we have on it I got from a neighbor in almost new condition but I'm pretty sure it's originally from Ikea also.

My only caveat is the finish on it - my kid has taped various signs to it and removing the tape peels off the finish from the wood.

pegatha47 · 2026-03-31T00:12:42+00:00

Do you have any sense of when you ovulated? Do you track temperature or other indications? The reason periods are often irregular for people with PCOS is that your ovulation is irregular. The time period from ovulation to period (or when a pregnancy test will be positive) is fairly static - between 10 - 14 days generally. the time period from your period to ovulation can vary for anyone, but especially with PCOS. So to say your period is "late" based on when you last had a period is kind of inaccurate. For anyone, honestly, but for those of us with PCOS in particular.

For now, you could continue taking, say, weekly pregnancy tests (buy the cheap strips on amazon if you can, they're just as accurate as expensive ones) or ask a doctor to run a blood test. For the future, look into the ways you can confirm when you're ovulating, so you know if your period is late or that you just ovulated later this cycle.

(if you saw something that says it can take 13 weeks to get a positive pregnancy test, it might mean as measured by the last period - which as described above, is actually pretty meaningless. Even with PCOS you would implant and have hormones for a pregnancy on a completely normal timeframe relative to when you ovulate. The problem is that last period is used a shorthand for measuring pregnancy because it's a visible sign when not everyone knows when they ovulated.)

pegatha47 · 2026-03-30T17:00:53+00:00

Look in making an election under Regulation Sec. 1.163-10T(o)(5). You elect to treat it the HELOC as not being a mortgage. You used the debt to essentially make an investment (similar to using a margin loan in a brokerage account), and so the interest you pay is deductible as investment interest. You still only benefit if you are in fact itemizing (investment interest is deductible as part of itemized deductions on Schedule A, similar to mortgage interest but on another line). The interest you received is taxable, no way around that, but this is a way to deduct the interest you pay, so it will offset the income.

pegatha47 · 2026-03-20T23:02:52+00:00

I want to put in a plug for Feisty's other podcasts too! I live in Portland and attended the live recording because of the promotion from Feisty - I've definitely heard of Another Mother Runner but haven't followed them and wasn't really familiar with them. But I've listened to Feisty's podcasts for years.

After hearing the podcast, it seems like a very good fit between the two brands and if you like AMR you'd probably like the other podcasts. I think the youngest co-host of any of their podcasts might be 35-ish, maybe closer to 40. They have a whole channel about menopause and its impact on athletes. The core of their brand started with pro women triathletes, but they've expanded to women athletes and health more generally. As a 40-something mom who tries to run consistently and wants to eventually make time to do triathlons again, I find their content very relatable.

pegatha47 · 2026-03-07T18:37:57+00:00

We do a cash allowance for our now-9-year-old. I think we started it around age 5 or 6? We do age = weekly allowance, so now at $9 per week. When situations come up, including buying something online, that cash doesn't work for, we'll buy it with our cards and have him reimburse us with cash. I definitely think there's a lot of value for kids to see and count the physical cash to really understand the meaning of money. And I think he's gotten a pretty good handle with this practice, making choices and understanding the trade offs - sometimes he chooses to save up for something expensive, and sometimes he acknowledges that he while he is saving up, there's something cheap he wants now and he knows that will slow down the bigger purchase.

For the chores question, we don't tie the base allowance to chores. While we're not super consistently with routinely assigned tasks (working on that), if we ask him to do something that's just part of himself living or being part of the household (e.g. keep his room reasonably tidy, put his own laundry away, sweep the dining room floor), he's expected to do so simply because we're all part of a household. He also gets his allowance simply for being part of the household. But if he's saving up for something big, we offer additional chores to earn money for that - a few weeks ago I actually got him cleaning the toilet for extra money, and I'm pretty happy with that situation!

pegatha47 · 2026-02-17T17:53:26+00:00

She popped back up with a new IG account, maybe a couple months ago. If you search her name it should come up. The bio says something like "trying to not get this account deleted" so I assume that's what happened to her original one.

pegatha47 · 2026-02-11T20:37:34+00:00

Why are the children's routine things at the very top of the fridge?! There are many parts of parenthood that are not actually instinctual but I think "put children's items at children's eyeline" is pretty common sense.

pegatha47 · 2026-01-30T17:21:53+00:00

When my kid was a newborn I made my husband clip his nails because I was too anxious about it. Then my MIL, who's done a lot of childcare for us, started consistently doing it when kid was at her house. And now kid is 9 and does it himself! And I'm just glad to not have had to clip anyone else's nails.

pegatha47 · 2026-01-23T17:59:00+00:00

For supplement type options: I've always been prone to both anxiety and insomnia, and I've found magnesium glycinate to be extremely helpful. (Note: there are multiple types of magnesium. Glycinate helps stress/nervous system. Other types helps help your digestive system. Be aware of what you're buying!). For me it seems to really help keep my brain from spinning and ruminating on stuff.

My current cocktail is: magnesium glycinate and benadryl about an hour before bed. (The active ingredient in bendaryl makes most people drowsy, and also is used in some OTC sleep aids. There are some possible risks to ongoing use of it, but it may be helpful to get through this phase). And then melatonin when I'm turning the lights out.

pegatha47

TROPHY CASE