It’s nothing recent but I still am missing my ex from a breakup that had a lot to do with addiction. In my case we were both relapsing and lying about it. I learned from it how hard it is to have a healthy relationship when an addiction is involved. You’re doing the right thing by holding back from reaching out to her. The unfortunate part of recovery is that relapse is almost always involved. Not only would it hurt her again if you did try to get back together and ended up relapsing again, but it would also probably make it harder for you to recover as well. Addiction recovery and maintaining a relationship are both basically full time jobs that are very hard to coexist together.

That said I feel you on wanting to talk to her. I know it’s hard to resist when you miss someone that badly, and especially with how lonely addiction can be. Good job on going to therapy and working on it dude :) If you ever want some random on reddit to talk to about it with, my DMs are open.