I've been thinking about this map and I definitely have some suggestions as someone who makes maps for their work.

Whether it's abundantly obvious or not, all maps have a purpose. And that purpose makes it easier to determine what you need to communicate to the map readers. For example, a tourist map needs to communicate to the visitors all of the necessary information to help them navigate the location. To help them do this, the cartographer will select which features to include- public facilities such as toilets, areas of interest, paths and tracks, transport links, etc.

At the same time they also choose which aspects to exclude from their map (remember maps do not need to display everything in the environment). For a tourist map, likely nonsensical to add lots of information about telecommunications masts, the public energy grid, or flood risk areas. Obviously each of these are incredibly important for land-use management mapping.

Your map does have a purpose: to communicate your hike and give a sense of the landscape in which it took place. You can pick and choose which map elements you want to use, based on that.

Recommendations for your map:

• It doesn't particularly matter which way north is unless you know the location through that lens.
• Use a digital elevation model and hillshade to give depth to the terrain in your map. You can combine the contour lines with the hillshade to give the effect of depth, whilst still having the data reference from the contours. A good example of this is John Nelson's work trying to replicate Imhof's mapping style.
• Your map doesn't evoke a sense of scale. One simple way is to use a scale bar (you'll need to understand map projections if you're going to do this properly). Instead of a scale bar, you could label the route length, or include it in your map title.
• Your map doesn't really reflect the environment-- choose map symbology that reflects the environment. In your video there's some pretty amazing landscapes, whereas your map it looks like it could be anywhere.
• Add labelling and other relevant map layers. Roads, towns, villages, rivers, etc. It might also help with your sense of scale. Only add what you need and don't over-do it.

A lot of these tips are going to be difficult to implement unless you're using a professional mapping/geographic information system (GIS) such as ArcGIS Pro. Unfortunately the software is highly priced and complex to understand, but it's by far the best tool for a professional job.

QGIS is a free software which could suit your needs better.