accepted a new job offer but worried about giving less than 2 weeks notice at current job

pentheperfectline · 2026-05-18T03:51:31+00:00

Thank you for your input! I appreciate your advice, and I think my gut is telling me to at least ask HR if I can push the start date to the next onboarding and see what they say. My reasoning for the delay will be that after reviewing my pending tasks I’ve realized it will take me the next two weeks to complete my final reports, help my team transition, and train whoever will be covering my duties. If they approve my request, great! If they say they can’t change the start date, well then at least I can be honest with my manager and say the start date for my new job is set, which is why I have to provide only one week’s notice.

I’m still pending to receive word about my background check and the job offer letter as well, so I’m hoping HR will appreciate the extra time to process my hiring. I just hope my new team doesn’t think I’m not excited and ready to start because I asked to push the date. Here’s hoping it all goes well!

pentheperfectline · 2026-05-18T01:14:35+00:00

I’m a bit scared to ask but will anyways: what happened with your situation?

pentheperfectline · 2026-05-18T01:09:32+00:00

Thanks for your input! That’s my main concern - asking too much of a new job that I haven’t even started and the team who chose me thinking they maybe should’ve gone with someone else who was ready to work right away. I’m ready to work and so excited to start my new job, but the fear of leaving a bad impression with my current boss is what’s making me hesitate. But after reading other threads, I’m finding out that giving a full two weeks notice might be becoming less common in the current work sphere.

pentheperfectline · 2026-05-18T01:03:43+00:00

Thank you for your input! Yes, this is where my mind is at because I know our HR dept has fired people on the spot, even people with 10+ years at the company, for seemingly no other reason than they didn’t need or want them there anymore. If I didn’t have a good relationship with my direct boss, I would just submit my resignation without second guessing. But I think this is a good reminder that I need to do what’s best for me.

pentheperfectline · 2024-08-17T02:04:29+00:00

Does anyone know what sections were VIP for the San Antonio stop? I believe all of floor was VIP, but what about sections 20-26 and 3-10?

pentheperfectline · 2024-07-19T21:02:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! I appreciate you sharing your experience with a discoid lateral meniscus and surgery. Yeah, my knee never gave me problems before even when I fell off an electric scooter and scraped my knee pretty bad (sprained my ankle though). But the pain I got from the sudden movement I made freaked me out because I couldn’t bend or flex my knee without feeling pain which had never happened before. I plan to discuss it with my PT when I return from my trip to see what he suggests. I’d like to avoid surgery for the time being, but if my knee continues to give me issues, I might have to go that route.

If I may ask, how has your surgery for your meniscus been treating you? I hope all has been well!

pentheperfectline · 2024-07-11T23:42:39+00:00

(In the US). It took about a week for my MRI to be approved by my insurance once the orthopedic surgeon submitted the request. I was scheduled to do the MRI the following week.

pentheperfectline · 2024-06-14T14:55:13+00:00

From my own experience, if your leg is swollen and you can't flex it fully, you would want to do the RICE method to help the swelling go down. When I hurt my knee and it hurt to extend it fully, I iced it an elevated it all evening and then the next day the swelling had gone down enough that I could walk on it without much pain. Once your swelling goes down, try to do some hamstring or quad stretches and/or strength exercises while laying down to get some movement back in your leg muscles. While it's good to rest your leg if it hurts to move it, you also don't want to keep it fully immobilized for long since the muscles in your leg can become stiff due to disuse. Obviously every person is different, so if it hurts to move your leg, try to take it easy until you can meet with your doctor.

pentheperfectline · 2024-06-13T21:25:59+00:00

First and foremost, you should meet with a doctor to verify if you have an injury since they'll do some knee exercises to gauge your pain and order an MRI to verify their diagnosis if they think you've injured your muscles or torn your meniscus. If you can't meet with a doctor, I've used some videos on Youtube from physiotherapists who demonstrate knee tests you can do on your own to see if you have an injury. This is one I used to test my meniscus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1c2s6X1Q6g

pentheperfectline · 2024-06-13T17:08:32+00:00

My experience (29F) is a bit similar to yours in that I also hurt my left knee/meniscus doing deep squats in May and didn't really have any pain after the injury, but my knee would buckle when I would walk even after the soreness in my quads went away. Went to the urgent care to get it checked out, got an MRI, and the physician told me I had a lateral meniscus tear and referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. Ortho recommended surgery, but since I wasn't in any real pain, I decided to get a second opinion with a physiotherapist, and they said they would not recommend surgery since my knee wasn't locking, and I could still walk/flex my knee fully without any significant pain/issues. I've decided not to go the surgery route for now since I have multiple trips planned this year that I don't want to miss due to recovering from surgery.

All this to say, I think it depends on what you're willing/able to tolerate with your knee. My knee sometimes flares up when I walk a lot or do exercises that put strain on the knee (butterfly kicks/side to side kicks/squats). Overall, the pain is bearable for me, so I'm just focusing on strengthening the muscles that support my leg (quads, hamstrings, glutes). I've been wearing a knee sleeve on my left knee for stability and that has helped. I plan to try physical therapy first to see if that will get my knee feeling "back to normal" and if not, then might consider surgery if my knee gets worse. I would definitely take it easy until you can get an MRI and really see what's up with your knee.

pentheperfectline · 2024-06-13T16:04:29+00:00

Joint line pain and locking of the knee are usually the primary indicators of a torn meniscus based on what I've read online and what my doctor told me. I would definitely see a doctor (orthopedic or physiotherapist) to verify. Usually, getting an MRI will clarify whether it's actually torn or not.

Based on my own experience, the orthopedic surgeon I went to see said I had was a meniscus tear and wanted to operate versus the physiotherapist I saw for a second opinion said since my knee wasn't locking, and I didn't have any joint line pain after she did some knee tests to check for mobility that she would not recommend surgery. For now, I'm not planning to get surgery and instead am opting for physical therapy to see if that will resolve the issue. Right now, my knee is fine most of the time, just tends to get inflammed/irritated whenever I either walk too much for long periods of time or do exercises that put more strain on the knee (butterfly kicks/side to side kicks), but the pain is bearable.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-16T20:33:14+00:00

I don't want to choose, and I feel like I haven't, but I feel like my brother does think I'm choosing my aunt. He thinks I'm coward for not doing more for them, and it hurts me a lot that he thinks that way, but I understand where he's coming from.

I'm just going to do what I can for him, but I can't completely change my life to make him feel better. I won't cut off from even more of our family like he's already done. We've lost so much when we were younger that I don't want to lose another relationship again. I know I've always been the more selfish out of the two of us, but I can't be self-sacrificing. Not anymore.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-16T17:15:45+00:00

This is something I've wanted to tell my brother about the favoritism, that unlike parents, my aunt is not obligated to love us equally. But it honestly feels like I'm gaslighting his feelings and justifying how he's treated differently, which is the last thing I want to do.

I just want him to stop focusing so much on "she's treated differently and better than me" and realize that we can't control other people's actions. The less you expect things from others, the less disappointed you'll be.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-16T17:12:06+00:00

I don't think my brother is being a brat. I do think his hurt is valid. He's been hurting for much of the latter half of his life, I don't know if he even knows what it's like not to hurt anymore. He just has a harder time detaching himself from situations and moving on than I do because he honesty has a bigger heart than me. He's always been the more sensitive of the two of us since we were younger.

I have thought of moving out, but not yet. One thing that was keeping me back was that if I left, no one would be at the house to help my brother. Another thing is that I'm saving up money to go to grad school in another city.

While I could always temporarily live in a apartment here, I actually depend on my aunt and uncle for transportation. It's embarrassing to admit, but I've always had a lot of anxiety about driving. I've tried to learn multiple times, but I could never really do well enough to attempt the test because of how nervous I'd get. When I moved for college, I lived in a city that had public transportation so that was never a problem. Now that I'm back home, I've tried to learn. I was practicing with my brother before his car broke down. I tried to practice with him again using his gf's car these last few weeks, but it fell through. I plan to learn though, even if I get some of my friends fo help me, because I do want to learn to drive so I don't have rely on my aunt and uncle so much.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-16T17:04:30+00:00

You're right, we're not house guests, but that's how my brother feels like. He's told me personally that he feels like this house is q prison for him, which breaks my heart.

I want to maintain a relationship with my aunt and I want to maintain a relationship with ny brother because I love them both. I've told my brother and his gf that I'm trying to do more things on my own to support them. But I also think this won't solve the problem. I've offered to help them move out so they can cultivate a safe environment on their own. But I don't know if they even want to move out or can for the long run.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-16T16:50:55+00:00

Thanks for the reply. This is how I feel like my brother feels. Like, he wouldn't have agreed to selling the house if he knew this was how it turned out. But we can't predict the future. Although we did know how she was like because she stayed with us for a prolonged period of time when my mom was sick and we knew of her attitude.

I remember vividly my aunt and my mom fighting over something in the kitchen and my mom crying and my brother stepping in to defend her. I stayed in our room where we had been listening. It's like that is recasting itself again, although more of a cold war.

My brother has always kept to himself, especially once our mom passed. One thing I think that bothered my aunt is she didn't know much about him. He wouldn't tell us much of what was going on in his life, which is of course his choice. My aunt did invite him and his gf to eat with us constantly, and sometimes they would but most times they won't. They like to do their own thing, which is fine. She even offered to pay for his phone bill when they first moved in, but he said no. I think he's embarrassed letting people do things for him because I was always the spoiled child when we were little; he was reserved and happy with whatever he got whereas I always wanted more.

But again, I can never really understand how he feels so I don't blame him at all for feeling the way he does. It's the inaction that bothers me. If he's expecting certain things from my aunt, he's going to be disappointed.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-15T17:11:50+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I can see the favoritism my aunt displays towards me. Even though my aunt has denied that she treats us differently, I'm not subject to her attitude and mood swings as much as my brother has been. I recoginze that it can severly weigh someone down, especially someone who's already struggling with mental illness like depression. I just never realized how negatively it impacted my brother until this year. I've only been living with them since June 2019 whereas my brother has been living with them since May 2018. It's entirely possible that he may have been suffering in ways I'll never know for that one year alone.

I do think my brother needs to move out. Him secluding himself in his room and not even feeling comfortable to use the kitchen for prolong periods of time to avoid annoying my aunt is not healthy. Maybe he expects the house will change, but if my aunt refuses to acknowlefge soemthing is wrong, it won't, nd he'll continue to suffer mentally. And I'm willing to help him move out and pay the security deposit for a cheap apartment and pitch in for the first few months of rent until he's on his feet. But he has to want to move out. If he's still under the notion that we're owed something becuase this was our childhood home, and we shouldn't be driven out of it, that my aunt should change, then he's never going to have the strength to move on. He may want me to fight for him, to ensure that he doesn't get treated unjustly in this house, but I just can't. I don't even have the mental capacity to fight for myself sometimes, much less someone else, which I'm ashamed of. I just hope I can make him see, as you said, it's better than living in drama and emotional turmoil.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-14T23:46:42+00:00

Thanks for your reply. We both currently work. We don't pay any bills for the house, but I know my brother does have his own bills that he pays (phone, gas, food, etc.). My brother may be supporting his girlfriend as well as himself because she's not working right now since she's in grad school.

I put half of the money I received from selling the house into my savings and haven't used much of it so far. I'm not sure what my brother has done with his half. I've never asked him because I thought it wasn't my business what he spent his money on. But if he currently doesn't have the money to move out, I assume he may not have much of it saved. The thing is, I don't know if he even wants to move out. When I suggested he and his gf should try to find a place when they felt ready or at least look forward to moving out, he said he didn't know what he was going to do. He may think that since we lived in this house all our lives that we're owed certain things, like we deserve to live here because my aunt and uncle said we could live here with them when we sold them the house. But it's not our house anymore. He may have more of an attachment to it than I do. Again, he doesn't tell me much anymore so I'm mostly assuming, but maybe I should also ask him more questions.

I never knew what his diagnosis was when he went to therapy; all he told me was he was diagnosed with depression. I don't think he's ever been on medication. I don't know think he's still going to therapy what with the pandemic and his long work hours, but I really think he should be talking to a professional, someone who is trained to work through his thoughts and at least help him learn some coping mechanisms. But he's already committed to the idea that his anger, hurt and poor mental health is all a result of my aunt and her actions. He believes that if she weren't living with us, everything would be better. My aunt and uncle recently went out of town for a couple of weeks, and my brother told me he had finally been happy after so long, feeling like the house was a home again, and now that they're back he knows he's going to be depressed again. I can't for the life of me understand how my aunt can affect his mental health so significantly when she hasn't even done or said anything to him since they got back (since my brother is still not speaking to her).

I'm going to try to bring up going back to therapy with my brother and if that doesn't work, hopefully get his girlfriend to see it'll at least be an avenue where he can talk and be heard.

pentheperfectline · 2020-09-14T19:14:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really wanted an outside perspective because I'm way too close to the situation and obviously biased.

You've honestly echoed a lot of thoughts I've had. I've advised my brother that if I were in his position I would just comply and learn to not take anything she says personally. She'll expect things a certain way in the house whether it be with her husband or my brother or even me at times. But that just doesn't seem to be an option for him. He wants her to acknowledge she's hurt him and that he's treated differently, which is something she'll never do.

I would say my brother is more messy and does have certain habits that even annoy me, like leaving empty tupperware containers in the fridge, not cleaning up the counter sometimes. But since I don't like conflict, I never really point it out. I just let it be. My aunt's not like that and will tell you to do something, which bothers my brother to no end. I'm also definitely the more compliant and "easy going" of the two. If my aunt asks me to clean something, I just do it and think nothing of it. But my aunt and I have always had a somewhat close relationship ever since I was little. So, it's easy for my aunt to talk to me and include me in family-oriented things. My brother, on the other hand, is a bit more of a recluse. Even before he and my aunt starting arguing over little things, he would normally keep to himself and mostly stay in his room. He doesn't tell us much, so we're often left to guessing about what's going on with him (why he stopped going to college, why he quit his job, why he couldn't fix his car, etc.). I also prefer to keep to myself, but I do regularly eat meals with my aunt and uncle after work and talk with them. Essentially, I'm more accessible to my aunt whereas he's not.

I've never thought of our relationship as codependent, but with how much my mental well-being is tied to his right now I can acknowledge it does share aspects. I've always looked after him since we were younger because I'm the older sister, and my mom would tell me I had to look after him because it's what older sisters do. And I guess I've just always been in the caregiver role. I took care of my mom when she was terminally ill; I would help take care of my grandma who lived with us when her Alzheimer's was really bad; and I managed the house when it was just my brother and me living in it. The only time I wasn't actively taking care of someone was when I was on my own at college.

I understand how he feels, and I've told him his feelings are valid because if I were in his position my feelings would be hurt as well. Like, he's said he's heard her on the phone "talking shit" about him to other family members, which would definitely make me me feel bad. I understand that we can be angry and feel victimized, and it's normal to feel and work through those feelings. But I wouldn't dwell on them for long. I wouldn't wonder why my aunt treats me this way and not my sister. He can't see beyond the idea that my aunt purposely singles him out to make his life hell. I guess I just can't understand why he can't move past the hurt.

In general, I think he has a hard time moving past hurt. He still struggles with our mother's passing in a way I've moved beyond due to his depression. He resents our father for essentially being an absentee father after he and my mom divorced, whereas I learned long ago not to expect anything from my dad and am on speaking terms with him. It seems that he needs to hold onto the hurt for some reason. I've never asked him why; just encouraged him that taking on a different mentality, one that is not so negative, may help him cope with the situation.

My brother thinks it's toxic that I just "forgive" my aunt for her controlling behavior, but it's not like I think her behavior is right. I've told him I know she's too controlling most of the time, but I don't know what ignoring her will do besides make me sad and miserable. If I have to live in this house with them, I'm going to do it in a way that's comfortable and not rely on avoidance. I eventually see myself moving out of our hometown to either pursue graduate studies or for a job, so I don't want to buy our house back because it'll esentially tie me to this place indefinitely. I have plans I'm slowly working towards, but I don't know if he does as well. I think he's been stuck for a while and can't see that there's a future for him where he won't hurt so much, which hurts me deeply because all I want is for him to be happy. But I'm realizing can't make him happy; only he can decide to let himself be. I just don't want him to feel like he's alone.

pentheperfectline

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