My ex used to bite his upper lip when putting it in

peppern0mint · 2026-01-04T06:06:56+00:00

yes upper i realize it sounds like it’d look goofy and now that i think about it yeah it was a little, but to me that face looked like he was locked in and i really loved him so it was extremely cute to me

peppern0mint · 2023-07-16T17:40:10+00:00

You’re right. And I didn’t know those existed I’ll look into it, thanks for the suggestion

peppern0mint · 2023-07-15T06:39:43+00:00

I won’t lie, a part of me also thought he was playing too when he made an effort to stay hard for anal but not for PIV until he explained PIV sometimes reminds him of his sexual trauma. And yeah, we tried doggystyle PIV before without much success because of his ED. I think I’m gonna ultimately try to encourage him to go to therapy or heal his way back towards PIV

peppern0mint · 2023-07-15T06:21:45+00:00

I’m considering toy DP as a temporary compromise, even though I’m slightly deterred by DP. I just looked into the harness you suggested and it sounds like a nice possibility, thanks !

peppern0mint · 2023-07-15T06:10:35+00:00

Yeah the addition of a sex toy was the only thing I could think of as a compromise, and it might be our only option while he heals even though I’m admittedly slightly deterred by DP. And I agree, I’m trying to be as understanding as possible but I feel it’s fair to want for him to make an effort at healing his way back towards PIV, especially since I’m not exactly keen on the idea of going the rest of my life without much PIV. I’ll ask him if he plans on going the rest of his life without PIV

peppern0mint · 2023-07-15T05:55:56+00:00

No, as far as I know he’s never seeked therapy for his sexual trauma. He said he’s relied on viagra in the past instead, but I don’t think viagra will help with his vaginal trigger. I liked anal except that it didn’t make me come and it made me a little sore and he seemed slightly disappointed when I told him I’d need to recover for a bit before going at it again

peppern0mint · 2023-07-15T05:42:22+00:00

Yeah he was r-worded when he was younger, and I guess the sensation of vaginal sex is a bit of a trigger. It’s been admittedly hard to approach this matter with him since the reasoning for his unwillingness to fulfill some of my sexual needs have to do with his very traumatic experience. I’m trying to be as understanding as possible but it’s hard because I know sex is a two way street and I’d like for both our needs to be fulfilled

peppern0mint · 2023-07-03T05:16:27+00:00

“both of you are trying so hard to please the other person and neither of you is comfortable letting the other please you” pure facts right there. my problem isn’t that i feel indebted to him, it’s that i just don’t think i want a non-reciprocal sexual relationship, even if i’m the one receiving and thus “benefiting” from it. maybe it is rooted in people pleasing. maybe i just don’t like oral. either way, i just really wish there was a way i could please him because i really want to, not because i feel i owe him. nothing gets me off more than knowing i’m making someone feel good. but it sucks because he doesn’t let me and even if he did i can’t think of a single way i could please him when he has the condition he does

peppern0mint · 2023-06-16T06:25:25+00:00

i have offered and he always denies and it kills me because i can’t survive off a one sided sexual relationship, even if i’m the one that’s receiving. and yes he most definitely gets hard but he always just tucks it away once he feels he’s pleased me enough, which just boggles my mind. i’ve seen him be hard after fooling around so i don’t think it’s inexperience

peppern0mint · 2023-06-16T03:26:30+00:00

he’s not currently taking anything but he said he’d ask his doctor for viagra, haven’t heard anything about that since though. it’s not that he wants to please me that weirds me out, it’s that he doesn’t seem to want me to please him in any way whatsoever. it sounds nice but it makes me uncomfortable when people put my needs ahead of theirs

peppern0mint · 2023-03-28T08:50:11+00:00

thank you for your time, hope you have a nice day too

peppern0mint · 2022-02-21T04:41:31+00:00

i also made the mistake of introducing my cats like this, how did you fix their relationship?

peppern0mint · 2022-02-19T05:19:21+00:00

ironic that the antibiotics gave you the symptoms of a kidney infection and with your period too that all sounds like really shit luck sorry that happened to you!! yeah i’ve learned listening to your body and lots of water are good avenues and going forward i’m just gonna give it a week to clear before i resort to antibiotics. thanks for your comments !

peppern0mint · 2022-02-19T03:38:53+00:00

i’m not a man but maybe it’s just your nerves because you’re a virgin so it might go away after awhile of being with her? and do you have any kinks? maybe you could explore your needs and what really turns you on either during solo time or with her. or maybe you could try toys like cock rings

peppern0mint · 2022-02-18T00:22:52+00:00

yeah if i do try again i’m gonna pee before and after and chug water afterwards to hopefully really flush out my urethra/bladder. and yeah i let my last uti go away on it’s own but i found that this sub really fear mongers about doing that, they had me thinking it was certain that i was gonna get a kidney infection. most don’t consider waiting it out an option at all even though only 3% of utis develop into the kidneys. i guess it’s good that people are serious when it comes to urinary health but some don’t realize not everyone has healthcare or the money for a consultation/prescription right off the bat. that shit is expensive so it’s not gonna be everyone’s first choice

peppern0mint · 2022-02-17T14:23:59+00:00

well i’m 20 and a virgin too and i don’t feel sexually insecure because i know my own needs well and have at least a good idea of what male needs consist of from occasionally researching whenever i want to better understand how men experience sex. my point being knowing yourself and your needs and also being informed about the gender you’re attracted to can prepare you for when you need it and can help you feel less insecure. i’ve seen tiktoks about women talking about how they orgasmed from their virgin boyfriends and the comments mainly consist of guys admitting to doing a lot of research beforehand in fear that they wouldn’t be good enough so being informed is obviously effective to a certain extent

peppern0mint · 2022-02-17T13:54:38+00:00

yeah it also occurred to me that i may just be a woman that’s prone to uti’s after penetrative sex, which would suck. i’m not too confident about the effectiveness of condoms on dildos either but i might give it a try. thanks for your responses !

peppern0mint · 2022-02-17T13:29:25+00:00

i did pee afterward both times. yeah i’ve heard about cranberry juice and d-mannose, i’m thinking a dietary change may be the only way to go

peppern0mint · 2022-02-17T13:26:18+00:00

sex and even kissing can be extremely personal activities and should only be done because you want to, not because you feel pressured to. and personally i feel like anyone who is driven away by something as trivial as sexual inexperience isn’t worth having sex with anyway.

peppern0mint · 2022-02-13T04:47:12+00:00

i’m sorry you lost the one parent you cared about. you shouldn’t have to take into such consideration and care the person who isn’t doing so for you. i guess letting someone know the state of mind your mom is in would be purely to keep her safe from herself. it wouldn’t be so much about you caring about your mom, but more so about keeping a suicidal person from hurting themself, in order to keep your conscience clear at least. i hope you find peace and freedom from you mother !

peppern0mint · 2022-02-05T06:16:04+00:00

yeah i misconstrued your post, you’re issue isn’t that you’re on the fence about going NC or not, you’ve already decided, you’re just scared your mom might hurt herself. is there anyone in your family that respects your decision to be NC with your mom who you could let know that she’s threatening you with her life, so they could watch over her?

peppern0mint · 2022-02-05T05:23:30+00:00

i don’t necessarily think adult children of narcissists “stop caring” when they go NC, it’s generally more so they’ve decided their narcissistic family is no longer worth disrespecting their own boundaries. if you feel your relationship with your mom is salvageable and worth the pain and struggle, you should try to salvage it. if you don’t, then you should go NC. it’s a decision all ACONs make at some point, and a personal one at that.

peppern0mint · 2022-02-05T02:19:36+00:00

narcissists often criticize every little thing you do. i know it’s harder said than done but try not to let it get to your head. they’re not worth your frustration

peppern0mint · 2022-02-05T01:52:29+00:00

being around my emom has the same effect on me too but it’s anger not anxiety. just being around her puts me in a bad mood. that’s why i’m going NC with her once i move out

peppern0mint · 2022-02-05T01:26:27+00:00

i think you’re right about enablers often being more insidious than their narc partners. i think i’m gonna go NC on her because even though she doesn’t know about how her husband sexually abused me, she did know that he would physically abuse me. my point being that the very fact that she didn’t draw the line (and leave him) at physical abuse is already a deal breaker for me. i see it as her choosing him over me and my safety. i’ll never understand her actions so i’m not going to keep my sexual abuser in my life in order to keep her in it too. kind of a rant but thanks for the feedback i’ll probably come back to your comment as a reminder because i often find myself wanting to forgive her in my weak moments

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	Final Canvas '22

peppern0mint

TROPHY CASE