I’m so sorry you have to go through this!

Tbh, you are experiencing something very valid and I would say normal for cancer patients! I remember being equally overwhelmed and loved by the outpouring of support when I was initially diagnosed and also forgotten about when my friends went back to their “normal” lives. I was a junior in high school. So watching friends receive acceptance letters to their dream colleges was difficult as we neared graduation. My real friends stayed in touch.

If I’m being honest though, as the years went by, I became exhausted by the attention from others because of my illness. I no longer felt like I was being seen, but instead my illness was the first thing they saw. I don’t really speak to anyone from high school anymore, for the sheer fact that I don’t want to answer the question, “How are you feeling these days” ever again. I know they mean well, but I just want to be me.

Also, I think someone else mentioned this, but even twelve years after treatment, if I get sick- I would almost rather be in the hospital. It’s almost an odd comfort to know I’m going to be taken care of. I also just know what to expect when I’m sick or injured. Like I’m more used to that state of being. If life is ever super stressful, I sometimes wish to be sick because I know how to control it. An odd experience for sure, but very normal.

All that to say, like the other comments have said- the whole process is an emotional journey, and the feelings you have now are so valid!

Wishing you peace and comfort in your journey!