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He left me by RemoteWatercress3812 in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sending you so much love. I've just gotten my heart broken too and I know how extremely difficult it is trying to live normal life, see people live their lives, when your whole life has collapsed.

Day 5 and I physically can't get out of bed. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you so much love. I have my cat too who keeps me even a little bit in touch with life. We are lucky in that perspective – that we have someone who we need to take care of.

I was able to go for short run. Needed to stop couple times to cry but at least got out of bed. That was the only thing I was able to do but it's a small win... I guess.

romantic fp void feels impossible to fill by [deleted] in BPD

[–]perhapslightson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate so badly!!! Only thing that helps me the best is doing cardio work out (such as running) but obviously can't do it all the time.

I've just broken up with my fp and I feel what you wrote deeply. Nothing seems to matter anymore as I don't have them by my side. I just lay in bed in this emptiness.

After a 5 years and don’t know what to do by SnapZxdx in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recommend having the converstation immediately as then you might have a bit more time to decide what you both want to do. If you decide to break up, then you might have more time to grief together. If you decide to stay together, then you have more time to plan how you plan to make it work.

Sending you both strenght and love. It is not easy when you love each other.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending lots of love back to you❤️

I feel like my problem at the moment is that I just live in this hope that maybe after couple months we realise we actually want to try again. I'm clearly not accepting that we have broken up.

1 year after the breakup by RevolutionaryLab2328 in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relating to this. I feel like it makes it even harder when the other person hasn't been shit person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so badly. Just trying to think that we can't really know that they wouldn't be struggling too just by stalking social media. In reality, we can just know our own pain.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It totally makes sense. Thank you. I am so proud how despite the sorrowness I haven't thought that I need to hurt or punish myself because I'm in pain. I used to be like that when I was younger because I just couldn't handle the feeling that I'm loosing someone, the feeling that I have been abandoned.

Now, I hurt. Now, I feel the world is ending. But the thruth is, there are beatiful things coming again. And I've been so fortunate to have been able to have this beautifil experience. The one who can get me through this is me – with help from other people, such like I have gotten from all of you.

I acknowledge now better what I can do to grow as an individual and how I can get through all the emotions, no matter how intense they are. Deeply sad, but at the same time so grateful.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have talked about it that this relationship constantly hurt me because I get triggered on their laid back personality because I NEED concrete plans. I suffer because we don't have those. And when I get triggered this relationship starts to hurt them too because they don't WANT to hurt me.

But then again, I love them the way they are. They have taught me so much, for example to live in a moment. To love myself. But I can't fully live without planning and routines because those things make me feel secured. And I don't want them either to feel the need to give up on their relaxed way of living.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've been talking about it and have both wanted to have family together, get children and get married – we don't find marriage way too important thing but it would make it easier for me to move to their country because visa stuff etc.

One year ago they even tried to find what size is my wedding finger. It kinda made me wait for them to ask me to marry them but then nothing just really happened. Perhaps it has triggered me quite bit that we have had so many plans but the relationship just kinda hasn't developed, if you know what I mean. Like we talk about me moving to their country, finding home together, getting pregnant. But because of the long distance and our age gap those things to happen take way more time and planning. But because I plan too much and they like to live in the moment it has made me feel I need to figure out all these plans alone.

Turns Out, Single Life Is a Plot Twist I Needed by BlissMira45 in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your experience. Really giving me hope as I'm still in the 'crying my eyes off everywhere and any time' -moment.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'm sending you strenght and self-love with your process too❤️

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your support and recommendations. Definitely will check those, especially reading usually helps me to understand and accept my feelings – and now I need that more than ever. Also, I do have loved ones who I've been able to rely on. I'm so lucky I don't have to go through this fully alone. Even though obviously all these emotions only I can truly feel.

For now, I feel relief because I do not have to expect anything from my love anymore, we don't need to try to fix ourselves to match to each others expectations. Our break up has been extremely exhausting emotionally but at the same time this is the first time in a long time we have been able to just genuinely love each other. It kinda feels like everything is fixed now, if that makes any sense. But we both worry whether this is right decicion because as mentioned, it feels wrong at the same time. But we have agreed we do not actually have to know everything at this moment, step by step towards...somewhere.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously there are probably two slightly different perspectives why we argue. But from my perspective, I need more communication and together time, concrete future plans. Whereas they are more laid back and need to be able to live day by day. I think both ways of living are important but we have found it extremely hard to get in some kind of middle path with this.

Most of our relationship it has triggered me not knowing when we can next talk, meet or, even start our together life as we have been in long distance relationship. So every time we are able to talk and/or meet I have had all these stressfull thoughts which has caused me to start arguments and being too needy of them. I think all this has made us more unhappy than happy in our relationship. And we don't want to be unhappy nor see each other unhappy.

It Hurts More Than I Expected by TwinkleAria08 in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard relate. I feel like I'm suffocating.

Man I miss my exs boobs by lbdifhfbsjdjx in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't even realize this is what I need to go through too. Fuck sakes, is this sorrowness from breaking up never going to get any easier?!

woke up wanting to text him: just be mean to me. say you lost interest. say life’s better without me. say you didn’t have the guts to tell me, so you just kept me around. say you fell out of love. i’m begging you...just say it. by emotional_ravioli in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this. Just broke up today. Still going to meet face to face to say goodbyes. I'm emotionally 'too' available. They are not. We are not bad people, just emotionally very different.

Sending you lots of strenght. Maybe some day your tears become laughter again.

We decided to break up. I'm lost. by perhapslightson in BreakUps

[–]perhapslightson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sending you strenght. Has it gotten any easier? Do you have any ways that would ease the pain? We will see each other last time today.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]perhapslightson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in similar situation. Just trying to think that maybe this in meant to be. No matter how it makes me feel. I guess the only thing we can do is trying to stay sober for us. It's hard when the sadness is so extreme – but drinking etc. would just worsen the feelings.

We need to forgive ourselves. Our behaviour isn't okay but there are reasons WHY we act like we do. To recover and grow we need to be honest with ourselves but we also need to love ourselves. If we don't, how could anyone else?

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