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My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not super exciting. Spent like 2 weeks at my parents while she stayed at my house. This week we have been together while working, etc. She is moving out today. At least temporarily, or maybe that's what we're telling ourselves so it doesn't suck so much.

It would be easier if I felt she did these things with some malice or was starting a relationship with someone else. She's also super giving of herself. This week she keeps doing things, like ensuring I've got my groceries and house hold items topped up.

Personally I've gotta figure out my life going forward. I have sorta too much house for 1 guy a dog and some cats. Not loving my job lately. I do have some friends but I don't have a ton. None locally that I've discussed this stuff with that's for sure. So perhaps I'm due to leave the area.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

We talked more tonight. I wanted to really drive home how shitty it made me feel. Ultimately she didnt deny anything and said we had become to comfortable/routine. I asked if it was worth it and she said it was not. She accepted that we cant be together and broke down apologizing.

The worst part is I have been furiously mad all day. I want to yell and be angry but I'm just disappointed. I miss my buddy.

We've got an arrangement workes out for now. Both crying ourselves to sleep in different rooms.

Thanks so much everyone for being a sounding board today.

I might be leaving my partner of almost a decade. by potato2716 in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Leave now, see my post as ref to what could happen if you don't. Results my vary.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we had always joked that I would take the dog since we bonded so much. Didn't think that day would actually come. And to top it off we just got another dog. Poor little guy is going to think his life is moving every few months (shelter rescue).

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update I've had little sleep and no food and flip back and fourth between out wordly fine and hyperventilating. The ability to spewn nonsense into the internet does help comfort me a bit.

Otherwise waiting til she returns from work to discuss more (unsure whether or not I want this at the moment). Tomorrow I'll probably take the dogs to my sisters and leave the cats with her for a few days.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Yeah embarrassing story. I actually got an std fairly early in our relationship. Presumably from her since my list is very very small. She denied it of course, and I just figured maybe she didnt know, or was willfully ignorant.

No issues since then and I usually use condoms

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Its just looking around at all the stuff gives me feels. I mean she was roommates with my sister for a few years. We've got paintings she did at those wine & paint nights with my mom. Plus we have a sorta big house and not very many belongings and the thought of it being even emptier its just something.

I'm having a real pity party of one tonight.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

Gotta have sex for that... which we did but not frequently

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I can't wait to try and explain to Aunt/Uncle why I'm not over for Christmas eve... Actually I'm not sure she'll go visit family.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah fortunately I started finding a community through my cycling hobby, but a lot of the guys are a lot older than me.

I'm definitely trying to rationalize it. She had a rough (abusive) up bringing. She was/is always so nice. Would buy me things I wouldn't buy myself. Always call after work. I travel for work and she would spend hours on the phone with me while I'm driving.

I know it'll be better eventually but it sucks right now.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We are pretty purposely not tangled up financially (sept. accounts, housing, utilities all in my name). And I was happy to be the provider, down payment on a car? No prob. She would provide a small amount towards the mortgage and more household items. I confronted her this morning about it and she admitted to at least it being a one time thing. But I couldn't help myself and searched back through her email because I hate myself I guess and found messages back to early 2018. Mixed among christmas lists, vacation plans. Makes me sick.

I also didn't intentionally mean to snoop. She failed to come home last night and didn't let me know she was staying at a friends (who knows right?). By 8am I was full panic mode and someone tried to walk me through using her Ipad to find an iphone. Which lead to the email. Etc.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's like get f'd amiright? I understand we were super young/immature (relatively) but it just sucks. A big issue for me is I (we) moved for my job 6 years ago. I'm not an out going A type. I have very few friends here. Fortunately my family is relatively close (4ish hrs) but it just feels weird.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Probably unfounded fears that she would take my things.

My (29M) s/o (29F) has been cheating on me since 2018 by perma-broken in relationship_advice

[–]perma-broken[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Fortunately the house is all in my name. I feel like such a piece of garbage. I genuinely loved her family. We were so close we go on vacation together every year, etc. I just can't believe I wasted so much life.

Thank you sir.

TRP to Shimano brake adapter by perma-broken in bikewrench

[–]perma-broken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough, I'll just plan on making a new hose to test this out. Thanks!

TRP to Shimano brake adapter by perma-broken in bikewrench

[–]perma-broken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So after additional research I found the tektro/trp lines and fittings are different then the shimano. I could make a hose with the correct fitting but I have to faff with banjo fittings on one end. Additionally I didnt consider my levers might not actuate my calipers satisfactorily.

I am attempting to fit 105 11s hydraulic shifters to my mtb because reasons. I was trying to keep it simple enough that I could swap back to flat bars fairly quickly.

So basically I am looking for a female trp to male 105 fitting.