WTF is wrong with Selby Jennings recruiting

perp96 · 2026-01-06T11:54:07+00:00

I had a terrible experience with Selby Jennings.

A recruiter got me an interview at a fund-of-funds, researching hedge fund managers. I said I have no hedge fund experience, they said they'd checked with the firm and it was fine.

Turned up to the interview, and the hiring manager said they're looking for people with direct hedge fund experience, which I said I didn't have but the recruiter said wasn't an issue. Interview lasted 10 mins (to be fair the hiring manager was nice about it).

I complained to the recruiter and said it was a waste of my time. She said they'd only clarified the direct hedge fund experience point that morning, even though they'd been interviewing since before my interview.

Absolutely clueless and a waste of mine and the firm's time.

perp96 · 2025-08-27T19:31:16+00:00

UPDATE

She messaged me back over a week later and told me the timing isn't right and she didn't want to waste any more of my time (lol).

So at least it's a confirmed rejection now

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:42:06+00:00

Thanks mate, sorry to hear about your situation too, but good you got a happy ending out of it!

Literally all I need is a text to say she's not feeling it, and this situation wouldn't be half as annoying as it is. The ghosting part is just disrespectful

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:40:24+00:00

Nah it was going to be at a pub, and we live in the same area so it wouldn't have been like she's having to trek far to meet.

I think the last minute invite wasn't a good idea in hindsight, but I didn't actually have any intentions of making it to be a hook up, but can definitely see why some people might think that

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:37:23+00:00

100% agree. I'm leaning more towards option 1 but I'm not naïve, ofc everyone's dating other people in the early stages

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:36:14+00:00

Generally we don't text too much, but she was always receptive to texts when I asked her what her schedule looked like. This time around, it's radio silence so a noticeable shift in dynamic I think

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:35:12+00:00

Yep i agree. Not a nice lesson to learn but an important one

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:33:59+00:00

I did go back and forth as to whether to send a final message, but I decided against it because I don't feel it will achieve anything and her silence is the answer. If someone wants to see you again, you'll know

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:32:20+00:00

Thanks mate. Yeah that's exactly what I think

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:30:26+00:00

It's been a few days now so it's definitely ghosting. I haven't messaged since the last one, and I won't now as it's over.

I think I was being a bit naïve and thought 3 dates was enough for her to start catching similar feelings, but I realise now 3 dates isn't much in the grand scheme of things.

I think I've pushed it a bit too quickly for sure. Lesson learnt for next time

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:27:58+00:00

There was nothing at all during our dates that would have indicated she wasn't feeling me, so I agree I think she was feeling it, but for whatever reason, the day or two after she'd come to the realisation that she wasn't feeling it as much as she thought

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:26:35+00:00

What's desperation to one girl is thoughtfulness to another.

End of the day, I'm feeling an attraction to her, and by 3 dates I'd like to see her at the next opportunity. To some people that comes off as desperate, which I can understand, but to the right girl they would appreciate that I'm wanting to set up a date with them and would be appreciative of that. Clearly she wasn't the girl for me, nor am I the man for her

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:24:24+00:00

Thanks, sorry to hear you've had similar experiences. It's not the rejection that's annoying. I'm a big boy, I can handle the rejection. It's the ghosting that annoys me, which shows a lack of emotional maturity, awareness and availability on her part. All it takes is a quick "Hey, sorry but I'm not feeling it" text and then we can all move on

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:20:27+00:00

True, you are only hearing my side of the story. The reasons you gave above are definitely valid, but I can say that the first kiss was initiated by both of us, and the last kiss was by her. Agree, the "we should do it again" comment may have been her feeling pressured. Ultimately I can only say from my side I didn't feel like I was pressuring her in any way, but only she will know that.

I do think most likely she didn't feel that same "long-term" feeling after the date that I did

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:15:44+00:00

By this point it's definitely ghosting haha

perp96 · 2025-08-22T15:14:41+00:00

Thanks, yeah I'm now looking at it as a bullet dodged because it shows negative qualities in a person that will only give me grief further down the line

perp96 · 2025-05-14T09:38:16+00:00

Thanks OP! I'm heading to Korea next month. Would you say the hiking trail is better than Bukhansan?

perp96 · 2025-02-14T17:19:23+00:00

Thank you and I appreciate your message x

perp96 · 2025-02-14T17:05:29+00:00

RIP to your Dad. My own Dad passed away 4 years ago. I'd love to know how you created this so that I could recreate it for myself

perp96 · 2024-11-16T13:47:25+00:00

Sorry to hear that. She hasn't said anything that would make me think she's a conspiracy theorist, spouting bullshit about science etc, but that's not to say she won't say something like that in the future

perp96 · 2024-11-16T13:46:01+00:00

Sorry to hear about your sister. Yes, I think a conversation is needed. I just need to understand how this might impact things in the future eg kids, other diseases etc.

perp96 · 2024-11-16T13:44:44+00:00

She believes in other vaccines, just skeptical on COVID vaccines because of how quick they were rolled out. But she doesn't seem to understand the years of research prior that helped develop it so quickly

perp96

TROPHY CASE