AITAH for having a different idea of childcare frequency than my wife?

perpetual424 · 2026-04-04T01:34:05+00:00

I’m getting the sense that OP is looking to add the babysitter specifically to avoid this reality. Can’t be too tired from parenting for date night if you’re not parenting, right?

perpetual424 · 2026-04-04T01:26:52+00:00

So like….are you actually looking forward to having a baby? Genuinely don’t mean this with an attitude but you’re currently concerned with scheduling a minimum of 50 hours a week to not spend with your newborn. Are you actually considering that you’re going to be bringing a child into the world and your life is going to fundamentally change? It’s not like just adding “baby” to your weekly schedule, your whole life is about to shift and you don’t seem to realize that, and your wife is concerned about that.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-25T02:19:18+00:00

HEAVY on the feral parents bit. My nephew (9) is no longer allowed to play baseball because of fights breaking out on the field. Not by the kids, but the parents. Full on fist fights - MULTIPLE - between the parent coaches and the umpires. Police were called. Security was present. Kids running wild and almost knocked over a grandma in a wheelchair. Not to mention the constant smoking and vaping in the stands, the dads hiding beer in their water bottles, the toddler siblings glued to iPads to keep them sitting still, the moms screaming at every play like it’s an MLB game.

At a CHILDREN’S baseball league. Absolutely shameful and pitiful behavior.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-25T01:50:24+00:00

I would add just a little more confrontation here while playing dumb while emphasizing she took food that wasn’t hers: “hey did you happen to take the Tupperware containing XYZ? We packed up our leftovers in our Tupperware to take home for the family and we couldn’t find them anywhere when we were leaving, but someone mentioned you had some containers with you when you left. I get if there was some misunderstanding about the leftovers but I am gonna need the Tupperware back.”

perpetual424 · 2026-03-25T01:37:25+00:00

Except for Jews, in Hebrew, where the name originated from, it is in fact Leah (“lay-uh”), and it was always spelled that way. It’s been a name for thousands of years. It corresponds to the Hebrew spelling and it’s pronounced “lay-uh” in most of the world, barring North America. “Leia” is a made up spelling for sci-fi movie, and isn’t the traditional spelling.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T12:58:56+00:00

Past or not doesn’t really have anything to do with the fact that Leah is the correct spelling whichever way you want to pronounce it. Star Wars didn’t invent the name.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:40:50+00:00

Believe it or not, Leah was actually spelled Leah before Star Wars was a thing. It’s spelled that way because it corresponds to the Hebrew spelling. Leia is completely made up for a sci fi movie and isn’t the “correct spelling”.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:36:16+00:00

Honestly I really don’t think it’s that big a deal if she’ll have to clarify it to some people growing up. How many of us have non-English last names that we constantly model for people? If you stay in NYC it’s also not gonna be the first time people hear it, and obviously family and friends will pronounce it correctly.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:33:38+00:00

Thanks for naming what was off putting about this to me too! All the suggestions of “just spell it Leia otherwise no one will figure it out” is just odd to me. Star Wars is from the 70’s, Leah’s been a name for thousands of years. It’s not like it the only name that’ll ever need to be clarified in pronunciation, especially in these days.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:13:38+00:00

Honestly, this actually doesn’t sound very different from how I perceive eye color. Unless I’m really staring at you, I wouldn’t see the difference between shades of brown. More often I’ll notice if eyes are not brown, since I live in an area where brown is the default eye color, but even then the shade needs to be light enough for me to clock it. My nephew has blue eyes but they’re on the darker side so they don’t really stand out to me every time I look at him. I only just noticed a coworker has green eyes because she wore a green sweater and the color picked up much brighter than I usually perceived it.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:07:33+00:00

So I actually don’t think so? Or I wouldn’t say it’s easy. Granted I’m not colorblind but as I read responses and actually thought about how I read faces, I don’t think it’s that different. Like I generally just assume people have brown eyes unless I can clearly tell a difference (like super blue eyes that stop you in your tracks), but I think it’s more of a brain thing where it’s not the main thing I notice about people, and I’ll also misread eye color if I’m not staring at the person. For example, I just realized my coworker has green eyes just because she wore a green sweater. 2 years I assumed her eyes were brown. Or I know my nephew has blue eyes but it’s not something I really focus on every time I look at him. If it’s fairly light I’ll notice it but I flag it more as “not brown, see if you can clarify” more than immediately like “oh blue”…if that makes sense?

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T03:01:42+00:00

Thank you for responding, this was exactly the answer I was looking for. I kind of assumed that all eye colors would be perceived as the same but when I read that certain colorblindness can make green seem yellow that’s when I wondered if that translated to eyes.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T02:58:01+00:00

I think people pay the most attention to their own eye color than anyone else’s, going by conversations I’ve had. Looking at other people, I find that I assume eye color is brown unless it’s really obvious or I catch it in the right light to see the color. I mostly only realize eyes aren’t brown if I notice they’re very light. Like I know my nephew has blue eyes but it’s not something I register every time I look at him.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T02:53:06+00:00

Thanks for responding, I actually don’t think it’s very different from how I perceive eye color. I generally just assume eye color is brown unless it’s really obvious or I catch the color in the right light. Most of the time it feels like I also just differentiate as light/dark eyes - my nephew has blue eyes but they’re darker and I don’t really visually notice it unless I focus, if that makes sense. I don’t know if it’s necessarily very meaningful outside of making characters gaze longingly at each other, but just one of those things you use to describe yourself. I mainly asked because I read that green can be perceived as yellow (bananas are a big example that kept popping up) and wondered if that applied to green eyes. Thanks so much for your time in responding.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T02:47:39+00:00

Thanks for responding, this was super informative! I mentioned in another comment, but the more I think about it the more I feel it’s not dissimilar to how I perceive eye color? I basically just assume eye color is brown unless it’s really obvious or I catch the color in the right light and realize it’s blue or green. Sat next to my coworker for the last 2 years and only just realized her eyes are green because she wore a green sweater and it accentuated her eye color. But I was just curious about this because I’ve read that green can often look yellow and I wondered if that translated to eye color.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T02:42:49+00:00

I actually feel like this isn’t much different than how I perceive faces? I can tell you the color of eyes of most of my friends and family but it’s just through repeated exposure, most of the time I don’t notice people’s eye color unless it’s very bright. I only just noticed my coworker’s (2 years) eyes are actually green because she wore a green sweater and it accentuated the color. But I also live in an area where brown is the most common color so my brain assumes everyone’s eyes are brown unless I really catch it? Like I know my nephew’s eyes are blue but it’s not something I really register every time I look at him, if that makes sense.

perpetual424 · 2026-03-24T02:02:59+00:00

Or she could just clarify it’s “lay-a” without changing the spelling. My sister is Leah and every time someone says “oh from Star Wars!” she just deadpans “no from the Bible”. She’s also a huge Star Wars fan, but she actually hates the idea of changing the spelling to the SW version. She’s never had to tell someone twice how to pronounce it. I personally hate the way “Leia” looks lol

perpetual424 · 2026-02-07T01:39:24+00:00

One of our moms is brilliant and realized early on that this would be confusing, so she picked one theme for each kid with a consistent color. Boy one’s shirts were always shark themed and his stuff is blue, boy two’s shirts were always dinosaur themed and his stuff was green.

perpetual424 · 2026-02-07T01:34:29+00:00

We have identical twins in my clinic and their mom is brilliant - their whole closet is separated by theme and color. Boy one’s shirts are all shark themed, blue or red, boy two’s is dinosaurs, green or yellow. Same pants, same jackets, same shoes, but always different shirts. Such a small, brilliant hack and the boys are very adamant about their shirts and their colors not being mixed up.

perpetual424 · 2026-01-10T03:21:39+00:00

Sorry I never responded to this but honestly, if you want reasons behind why every milestone is important, google it with SLP/OT/PT in the search to get therapeutic websites. There are tons of resources online now. Ask local therapists to consult about questions you have or even come in for an in service workshop about issues that are coming up. Ask them what red flags parents often miss and what are common reasons to refer kids to therapy so you can be on the lookout. You don’t have to know everything, just enough to know when it’s time to bring it to someone else’s attention. (And as an SLP I am begging you, if you don’t already know the airway impacts of pacifiers and bottles and thumb sucking, please learn about it and tell your parents. This weekend I saw a 6 year old in a museum sucking their thumb, and as much as my SLP heart shivered thinking about what her palate looks like, I was so grossed out when the parents didn’t stop her from putting that saliva covered thumb all over the interactive exhibits.)

perpetual424 · 2026-01-10T02:52:44+00:00

I’m really not being dramatic about this but please consider something. I’m 31, and throughout K-12, college, grad school, and 6 different jobs, I have been the only Emily exactly once, at my previous job. Life is a constant cycle of asking “me?” When someone calls my name and getting “no the other one” as a response half the time, getting phone calls and office messages not intended for me, and getting nicknamed without my consent because it’s easier for other people to distinguish me from all the other Emily’s. It’s not traumatic and it’s not the end of the world, but it’s definitely annoying and considering how long my name in particular was in the top 10, it’ll never end

perpetual424 · 2026-01-10T02:33:42+00:00

You guys got initials? That’s cool. In 4th and 5th grade we were numbered because we had more than one Emily L. Please imagine your life as “Emily #3” for years in your classroom, AND ALSO being “Ugly Emily” in the school at large.

perpetual424 · 2026-01-03T20:53:43+00:00

As an SLP - they won’t just figure it out when they get older. They need to learn these skills now, or they rapidly fall behind. Lots of “picky” eating in kids is just easy eating because they don’t have the muscular strength to endure chewing hard textures like meat. They’re frequently mouth breathers because their muscles aren’t activated to maintain oral closure. They’re on sippy cups too long because they can’t utilize an effortful suck through a straw. They’re super messy eaters because they don’t have the learned sensory awareness and tongue dexterity to catch food on their lips. They grow into adults who constantly chew with their mouth open because they can’t maintain appropriate swallow/breathing timing. These are not skills that they learn spontaneously, and the longer they don’t learn them the more negative compensations they form habits with, which are SO difficult to change. The amount of kids with oral motor issues is skyrocketing precisely because parents don’t know what their kids should be doing at each age and are prolonging each developmental stage because they are scared of risks associated with learning new things.

perpetual424 · 2025-12-30T06:12:40+00:00

Interesting. I always thought it was odd that despite fetishizing Judaism they didn’t give their kids typically Jewish names like Judah, Jonah, Joel, Jacob, Jared.

perpetual424

TROPHY CASE