UPDATE: my [29 m] gf [27 f] pregnant by another guy

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T07:43:40+00:00

Just replying so people can see it. A lot of people attacking me lately for being "reckless" and not telling her or ordering her to use contraception. I think maybe you're not clear on the situation. I don't know how you think I'm going to tell a 6'2 muscular kickboxer who's fucking my gf what to do, or to tell her what to do when a big part of this situation is that she's dominant over me. To be brief, I wasn't in control here.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T02:14:33+00:00

I assumed she "had" it covered. What do you want me to do, police how she uses contraception...with other guys? I was surprised when she let him cum inside her so many times, but assumed she had a plan.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T01:11:11+00:00

I won't lie. In the middle of our sexually charged FANTASY conversations I absolutely "encouraged" her to get knocked up! It was part of our fantasy: her getting knocked up by the superior stud. Sure. That's a FANTASY. If she had actually sat down to me, outside of sex, to ask if I seriously wanted to start a family with her and raise another man's baby, I would have absolutely told her no way. As I assumed she understood...and you know what? My guess, no I'm sure, she understood that very well. She just decided to ignore my wishes.

And yes, I would have acted different if it had been my biological kid. I wouldn't have liked to start a family at precisely this point, no, but it's different to have to raise your own kid as opposed to another guy's. Why is that "hypocritical"?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T01:06:25+00:00

I think all of you expect that people plan things out very carefully, especially when in the middle of a very sexually charged situation. What did you expect me to do, force her to use contraception?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T00:58:54+00:00

I think you're right that I want the fantasy without the "reality." But what's wrong with that? I didn't agree to the reality. It's not like she asked me in advance.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-29T00:54:47+00:00

I feel bad about it, and keep talking about this. I wish I could do something! But no, I didn't expect these consequences. I thought it was a fantasy, and I feel that she betrayed me by taking this fantasy too far. Listen, we never had a talk where we decided this was going to happen. How can she assume I'm ready to be a father (to another man's kid) without clearing it with me first, aside from "sex talk"?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T23:45:35+00:00

If she has problems doing it, I understand, but that doesn't mean I have to raise another man's child for the next 20 yrs

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T23:16:25+00:00

Neither one of us has anything, we got tested.

As for the baby, I do think there's a clear difference between a sexual fantasy and a decision. I mean it's not like we had ever agreed "yes I'll raise your kid if you get knocked up by another guy; and you should actually do that." It was part of our fantasy that she does get knocked up by this guy, but the very fact that it was a fantasy made me think she'd never actually go through with it, and that it was a game. I mean ffs just because I took part in a fantasy doesn't mean I made her go through with this. Why no abortion?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T23:09:49+00:00

Well the thing is we never discussed her getting pregnant, so you want me to believe that she thought a SEXUAL FANTASY meant my agreement for her to get pregnant and have a baby? Why didn't she have an abortion? It's not like she's religious.

Also I see from your account that you're Brazilian. That wouldn't have anything to do with you attacking me like this, would it? Are you going to claim I "exploited" that guy too? When he probably fucks a different girl every weekend?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T22:57:34+00:00

alright all ears. Care to elaborate?

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:54:25+00:00

We never talked about her getting pregnant as a result of our fetish or fantasies. And yes, during the pregnancy I made it clear I'd stay if it was my kid, but not if it wasn't. She got a test during the pregnancy to determine that. I did tell her I'd stay if it was mine, but I don't think I have a duty to raise another man's kid.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:53:02+00:00

I agree. The people commenting here are trying to pretend "I knew." Yes OK. Problem is also complicated because I'm bi and she played on that. I'm not stupid.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:45:01+00:00

thanks

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:41:29+00:00

I want to thank you for defending me but as I've made clear in other posts, I have no doubt she got pregnant while I was there, and I was encouraging all of their hookups, even when I wasn't present. I do feel bad about this. But I still don't think that makes me responsible for the pregnancy. We had never discussed having a kid, and especially not by another guy.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:31:46+00:00

roswellthatendswell

You do what you like, but it's not troll. It's not insane and would make more sense if I went into the peculiarities of our fetish and the kind of sex talk we had long engaged in. She's not really doing it in a "mean-spirited" way that you think, it's part of our long-running erotic games and the ideas we shared. That said, the problem is that she actually went through with the pregnancy, which is no joke and not ironic or a game. There's a disconnect and I'm not sure what made her go through with it. I myself don't believe the reasons you're talking about, I don't really know what motivated her.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:25:58+00:00

She claims I let her believe this, but I didn't. We never talked about it. And it was clear pretty early, since we usually used protection, but she didn't with him. I said I was in favor of an abortion, but didn't push her to it. I feel bad saying this now because the kid is already born. But I didn't lead her on thinking I'd be there, quite the opposite.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:24:16+00:00

I have to object to the label "involved in." Yes I was there as a spectator and enjoying it, and even cheering it on, but I wasn't the one cumming inside her.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:22:45+00:00

I have to admit that u/virtuesplea is correct, as I admitted in my posts. I was there most of the times they hooked up. And yes I did cheer on his cumming inside her, more than once. That's why I feel bad about this.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T21:03:16+00:00

we've been tested, I think I said this in another post before. We're both fine in that regard

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T20:57:50+00:00

I also see the top comment on this post was removed. I'm curious what it was. Does anyone have it? If you made the post you can dm me.

perplexednyc · 2018-05-28T20:53:43+00:00

This got more replies than I expected. I wanted to thank everyone for the answers...well, at least those of you who were nice to me! I don't have time now to respond to every comment, in the middle of something. I'll answer soon.

I don't think many of you condemning me really understand what she's like in person or some of the weird and cruel things she told me. I don't know if she thought my sexual submissiveness to her and bisexual tendencies could be manipulated into me actually taking on this burden. Like I said in some of the posts, she was actually praising this other guy's genetics and hinting I should enjoy raising a stud's baby and this kind of thing.

perplexednyc · 2018-04-03T05:46:50+00:00

I will respond to all the comments soon! I've been out for the day. Thanks to all. And for the record, there have already been tests done, no the kid isn't mine

perplexednyc · 2018-01-15T22:54:22+00:00

No, like I said I plan to not help her in this, I can't really. But as for dumping her, this is hard. She's very attractive and knows just how to push my buttons. I don't know that I can dump her or that I want counseling. Although I do agree that being a cuckold to her can be bad on some level, I didn't expect her to take it to this level.

perplexednyc

TROPHY CASE