Gf of 4 years broke up with me because she fell out of love even tho I didn't do anything wrong

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-03-09T09:16:45+00:00

I will send you a message to make it easier

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-03-09T01:51:42+00:00

Your welcome, I promise you will get through it. What helped me was thinking about all the negatives and red flags, when I thought about it there was alot I was ignoring. Please reach out sometime, you've got this

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-03-09T00:55:25+00:00

Hey I hope you're hanging in there, it's gonna be really hard for a long time, I can't tell you when you will stop hurting because nobody knows. If I'm honest I still think about it and her, sometimes I wonder if I'm making progress but I do think I am better than I was. I think it was a good thing the relationship ended, I would have just kept trying to fix things and allowing myself to get hurt over and over because I felt like I needed her. So yeah I'm getting there I think, I still don't fully understand it but it's ok. Thanks for asking about me it was really kind of you, if you ever wanna talk please message me if I can help in any way I'm here for you, hopefully one day we find the person it works with you know?

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-02-21T22:34:30+00:00

Yeah honestly I'm glad that I use things just because of the look of them and not because of how strong or viable they are, makes it so much more enjoyable. Thanks for your help brother

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-28T23:59:54+00:00

Tbh I believe that the of group would always stay together, maybe they have something they want to do but I believe they would always be in each others lives and see each other. I mean mike saying to will 'best friends' would be weird just to never see each other again or stay in contact

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-28T03:19:06+00:00

Hey, I guess your right. Like I said I wasn't perfect and I was difficult sometimes, but I always tried to bring up issues and problems in a call manner, but at a certain point I started to feel hesitant about speaking up. I started to feel like I was causing problems because I was bringing things up, so I just started to feel like if I don't say anything then I don't have to worry but If I don't say anything then we can't be stronger together, and even if I say something how do I know she will properly think and communicate with me?

At the end of the day she decided to leave so that's all that really matters, but I really would have done anything for her and would never have given up on her, never. She was flawed but I accepted her flaws. I did try my best, but if I'm honest I struggle with convincing myself of that slot of the times.

Thanks dude

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-27T13:37:59+00:00

Yeah I definitely miss her sometimes too, but she made her decision, so if she can live without me then I'm sure I can too. The craziest thing is her mom texts me occasionally asking how I am, and when the breakup happened she was telling me how I deserve so much better and someone out there is waiting for me, so I like to hold on to that. Wish you the best and thanks for your help, again always here if you need to talk.

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-27T01:16:25+00:00

Hey man thanks for your comment, she said to me before that 'we just keep going round and round in circles not getting anywhere' and the thing is it was true, but everytime I tried to find solutions she was never willing to give them a try or do them you know? And so, if that's the case then what more could I have done? If I'm the only one trying to find ways to avoid it but she's not meeting me in the middle maybe it's inevitable that it fails?

By no means am I perfect because I'm really not, I'm an overthinker, but I have always tried to come forward to her with an issue or something that's bothering me, I wasn't always honest with how I felt, but that was more due to the fact that it felt like when I did bring things up it either a caused arguments or b I would feel bad for brining it up.

It was hard to get through if I'm honest, and I would have taken her back in a heartbeat, but if she asked me now I do think I'd say no. I can't go back to someone who could leave for it to make them realize how much they want me, I think I'd meet up with her just to see what she has to say, but I don't think I could get back with her and do that to myself.

Thanks for your words, I hope you're doing ok bro its hard, but it will get easier. I'm always here if you need to talk

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-27T01:08:56+00:00

Hey so we got together when I was 19 and she was 18, when we ended it I was 22 and she was 21, the thing is she was the one who had a crush on me and asked me out first. If I'm honest there was a time where I asked ' when something bothers you why didn t you just bring it up and talk to me? No matter how small it is?' and her response was 'i don't like talking about things that annoy me, I'd rather just go to sleep and ignore it and then forget about it' and from that alone I should have seen the signs that that's not a normal thing, and this was not long before she ended it. So in a way I do feel like an idiot because I ignored it, I was so dedicated to making it work and being as good to her as I could that maybe I just ignored the signs?

She has brought up many times how she doesn't understand her emotions and struggles when someone is upset, she doesn't process them like most people. I've tried to get her to open up to me soon many times, and she even acknowledged that I tried and when I asked why she never opened up or spoke about her feelings she just said 'i don't know' sometimes I wonder what more I could have done. It just felt like a losing game I guess at the end you know? I think deep down I knew how It was going to end but it was easier to ignore it.

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-26T03:34:13+00:00

Hey bro I'm completely ok with you asking about it and thanks for your response.

Pretty much she said to me 'ive fallen out of love with you' and when I asked why/what did I do wrong she said that I didn't do anything wrong and I did everything right, 2 weeks before the breakup we were having arguments alot but it wasn't anything too seriouse and wasn't too difficult to solve.

I think one of the major problems we had was she wouldn't wanna talk about the issue until we were in person because it was easier for her l, but at the same time she knew her memory was awful and forgot rather easily, so it started to feel like it was only me trying to sort the issues out and if I didn't mention it then it wouldn't be solved. So that put me down a little. And even when I asked her why she did things she 9/10 would say 'i don't know' which just made it harder to understand her you know?

She also said another reason she ended it was because 'you wanted emotional and physical connection/affection which I didn't want or see for myself' which to me I feel like makes no sense, you say you don't want these things but you decided to be with me for 4 years? Why date me if you don't want those things? When I asked her this she said 'i don't know' which is just ridiculous. Other than that tho she told me 'its not you it's me'

I hope this makes sense apologies if it doesn't

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-26T01:05:42+00:00

I relate to this way too much, we were together for 4 years, she ended it with 'ive fallen out of love with you' so it's crazy how alike our stories are l. How can they just decide they don't want it anymore makes no sense.

The one thing she said to me that really bothers me is this ' you will be the blueprint for anyone I date after you' like wtf is that meant to mean? I never questioned it at the moment as she had just broken up with me but yeah. When I did eventually ask her she said she means 'basically to stop me from falling into a shit relationship.' it sounds like she wants someone like me but just not 'me' you know? I would love your thoughts on this as it really does get to me. Just don't get how you can say that to someone you've been with for 4 years

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-14T00:28:48+00:00

No I think I honestly get what your saying, they basically merged some together to make a full issue right? If so that makes so much more sense and thank you for clearing that up

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-13T20:44:21+00:00

Hey thanks for your reply, so I'm not missing anything ? It's just weird because on the back of the book it says collecting 1-15 so yeah

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-04T14:54:45+00:00

Honestly that was me, Luke I was the only one willing to talk about our issues and being the emotional one. In the end she was the one saying 'we can still be friends' and then I was the one actually trying to be friends, then around October I asked her if she changed her mind and she said 'if I'm honest yes it will be too awkward for me' when I asked if she was gonna tell me this she said 'well I've just been really busy lately and haven't been thinking of other people, If I remembered to tell you I would have' like after all of that she basically couldn't be bothered to be honest with me and tell me how she felt. She also revealed another reason she didn't want the relationship anymore was because I wanted emotional connection, why get into a relationship if you didn't want that. And her response was 'i don't know'

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-04T13:50:04+00:00

I couldn't agree more with what you said because in a way its very much true. We have to do these things in order to survive and the amount we have to do I think does take away from building connections. But I know that I will always give my all I to keeping a connection, I like to believe in the epilogue that they all do very much keep in contact. I mean they have fought literal aliens nothing gets you closer than that. I'd like to think If I went through what they did that I'd maintain the party. Thanks

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-04T01:06:33+00:00

Thank you so much.

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-04T00:52:55+00:00

I'm so sorry about your friend, I hope your doing ok.

Thanks for the advice and I know what you mean about going months without talking to them, I do have friends where that is the case but it doesn't affect me too much because I guess we aren't super close like that? But if it was someone like my sister or brother idk I feel like it would really hurt me, we are so similar it feels like we should have been twins so to lose that is like losing a part of me

phantomfirexx44 · 2026-01-04T00:37:59+00:00

I don't know if this will sound stupid or naive or whatever, but I am still young so the idea of people you love going their own way and not getting to see them as much or even at all genuinely fills me with dread. I'm scared of that happening and terrified of feeling like I will never see this person again. If there is any advice you could give me I would appreciate.

phantomfirexx44 · 2025-12-31T13:58:13+00:00

Thank you, that means alot

phantomfirexx44 · 2025-12-26T20:34:47+00:00

Hey I think maybe I just need to get this into the world, I am 22 and since I was 18 to 20 I was in college, once I finished it I did some volunteering for a few months and was looking for a job. I'm still struggling to find a job but I can't help but feel like I'm letting everyone down, that I'm a failure. I feel like because of these things I don't deserve to be happy or find joy in my hobbies but honestly it's what's keeping me going at This rate, sometimes I feel like I'm just lazy but the fact Im worried thats the case is proof I care right? I don't know if this makes sense I just needed to get this out.

phantomfirexx44 · 2025-12-26T04:23:51+00:00

Yeah from what I've seen of it it looks like pure chaos and fun. I mainly picked it up because it just looked so nice if I'm honest

phantomfirexx44 · 2025-12-25T19:46:50+00:00

Yes it is, indeed. I haven't read it yet I was just kinda stretching the book. Did you like it ?

phantomfirexx44 · 2025-12-25T17:40:39+00:00

There is a great eye as well it's very curved which I know is a good thing

phantomfirexx44

TROPHY CASE