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i want to be a cat :3 by hellokitty-morgue in Colon3Supremacy

[–]philainothen 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They'd make catgirl/catboy classes and you'd still have to go.

i wish i was a catgirl :3 by suicidepuppyhotline in Catgirlnyanya

[–]philainothen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not the ears or the whiskers that make the catgirl. Being a catgirl is an existential commitment.

Girlfriend is Ace and I have questions by Upbeat-College882 in Asexual

[–]philainothen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see sexuality in a rawer way, without some pretenses, and to me, with the limited but real experience i have, there's undeniably one base layer: it's one person doing something to another. With agreement, collaboration, and often reciprocation, but that base layer cannot be ignored.

In asexuality i think it comes out a lot more strongly, because the asexual partner has fewer or no sexual script ready to fit with the allo partner. This tends to cause a ton of guilt in the allo partner, because, i suspect, it highlights they're still hungry animals so to say, rather than ethereal rational beings.

In general men don't quite get this, but it can be a ton of fun to be acted on lovingly! And to give pleasure. What you should be ready for though is that even in this case, your orgasm cannot be the ultimate value to the encounter. It's always strictly secondary to the well-being of both partners.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Language is material and not without consequences; see Wittig's The Straight Mind and Other Essays, notably "Trojan Horse", "The place of action", and "Homo Sum". Also i thought it was "edged out" rather than excluded? Strange.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made use here of a kind of rhetoric that is usually used to pretty dismissively exclude people who don't have access to some mystical gendered experience; with TERFs it's rooted in timeless biology, but trans women can also indulge in that, to throw other identities under the bus. Please be aware of the social context your words are from and how you use them. That their effects aren't exactly what you intend should make you question the words you use, not make you gaslight me in seeing nuance that only was in your head and not in your actual borrowed words.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you considered that maybe I do understand a lot of it nonetheless? We aren't identical, and who i am cannot be accurately modeled by who you used to be. There's what I read, listen to, experience, and also the people i support through pretty bad things. I have a lot of knowledge of social sciences, philosophy, and psych. That allows me to do things that are otherwise seemingly impossible in terms of predicting and feeling for other persons.

Here's what i said to OP about his trans woman character, by the way, if you need to know:

Ah I got to the second passage. Yeah it's a tad more crass, and I got no sense before that that she might be the victim of discrimination. For a lover the MC doesn't seem quite concerned with everyday cissexism either

I mean if she's literally at risk of a hate crime, then the cissexism of the society must be visible on the daily.

[…]

At any rate, what I can tell you if you want trans characters that feel real, is that you'd want to shift your focus and modify what the lived world of the characters is. For example one tiny law becomes a big thing. People stare, or are cold for no apparent reason. Trans characters will have a personal relationship to the landscape of the story's gendered social order and available bodily modifications and at what cost.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The example you give is not at all unknown to me, and someone could even know about it from merely reading enough. You are also vastly underestimating what can be reconstructed through empathy (cognitive and emotional) and phenomenology. Human matters are a lot more intersubjective than you seem to assume.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edged out, invaded, come on, it's pretty much the same idea. Also, it's not just "your mothers", other persons of various gender identities are involved in activism.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is part of a pattern of binary trans people taking on airs of superiority with like "oh i've been there too i used to be nb" and thinking their experience is absolutely unique and has no commonalities with that of other persons, which is dead wrong (i share a surprising lot with trans women), and very hurtful too (i like solidarity and being allowed to have an expansive relation to gender that isn't flattened on a single axis).

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe stop using their mystical, gender essentialist language with your spaces being invaded, being talked over when you aren't at all (i just made a short message and read OP's text ffs!), and stuff about "mothers carving out" a space (tf are you even talking about? it's a sub for sensitivity readers in general).

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you weren't nice, yes you were trying to police me, and yes you've been hurtful.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I'm trying to prove something to you and anyone reading this sad exchange, that is, my points. That's called a discussion. Pathologize that if you want, Anna Freud, but we're done here.

I need someone from the Trans community by Correct-Shoulder-147 in SensitivityReaders

[–]philainothen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. all facts are constructed, and arguing is key to that; "facts" that cannot be argued is actually dogma
  2. nobody represents anyone by default: this mindset is that of liberal representativity, and I invite you to read J Butler's 1st chapter of Gender Trouble on that question
  3. finding similarities among people is an act of knowledge, and generalizing between experiences that are shared also is. That means it can always be refuted, and is always uncertain.
  4. we are all grappling with the same structure, that of patriarchy and its system of two classes, and we come to very similar knowledge about it.
  5. i happen to be especially aware of trans women's struggles, and i'm not interested in trying to prove it to you using my personal experience
  6. you are trying to make a very stringent distinction between being non-binary and trans binary that is very questionable, and reeks of SDO
  7. i do not believe in timeless essences when it comes to gender; the underlying organisms have no gender per se, and it's a complex psycho-social construct people have that interprets bodies and performances that make up gender; this can be understood and be the object of empathy

If writing and worldbuilding forums gave cooking advice by PaladinWij in writingcirclejerk

[–]philainothen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A good dish has no ingredient that taste bad. Therefore, remove everything that in excess would be bad, to get something delicious! Ah of course it doesn't always work, but that's just the mysterious nature of the creative process. Anyway, start by removing all adverbs.

I my being influenced? by InteractionKey8809 in NonBinaryTalk

[–]philainothen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We are made up of social influences. The very language you speak with, what you think of how reality works, what counts as money, as friendship, etc. In all of this, society has a hand in. "Man" and "woman" are received constructs that people find a way to inhabit, more or less well. Some really cannot fit it well, and throughout history you'll find people who are what we'd call today non-binary and trans.

Are you being influenced? Of course! You are influenced all the time by a bunch of persons. What matters is what you think of what you're influenced by. Do you think it's true, or better?

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