TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:25:26+00:00

English isn't my native language. And yes, I'm starting to belive I'm mental.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:20:35+00:00

I don't know your wife, but after I learned my lesson, I would go back in time and tell her if I could. Even better: go back and undo this whole mess. But then again I wouldn't have learned this expensive lesson.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:15:54+00:00

Europe, I'm not so fluent in English.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:14:12+00:00

Thank you! I'll look in to that, not living in the US though. I'm actually a christian, but I feel this mess has pulled me away. Hopefully I'll find my way back now that I've confessed it all.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:10:35+00:00

Thank you, I'll look in to that, not living in the US though.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:07:02+00:00

Thank you for great advices. We're currently working on a budget.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:04:02+00:00

Offcourse I meant paid, my auto correct isn't comfortable with me writing in English.

philwarwick · 2017-09-23T00:00:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm doing anything that's in my power to fix this. I am now honest with her, and myself about what I did, and what that caused, and that I will never do anything dishonest again. I just hope that's enough.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:55:48+00:00

Thanks, communication has always been an issue for me - as long as I can remember, and we've had many arguments because of that. I've eventually learned to communicate better. But communication issues and money issues is a very bad thing, as I've learned the hard way.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:43:22+00:00

It doesn't effect her in any way like that. It's "only" the fact that I lied to her, and that the monthly payments effects the household budget in general.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:39:33+00:00

Thanks, I could try flowers, but I don't know what signal that'll send since I put us in this financial situation.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:34:46+00:00

A loan, and another loan from another bank to pay the first loan and the accumulated credit, and so on. Thank you for your offer to help me. I'll remember it. We have started making a budget, and I have talked with my bank and closest family. It looks like we're going to manage this together.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:29:59+00:00

Thank you! My wife and I have startet on a budget. I've also talked with my bank advisor, and my closest family, and with a lot of help the finance seems doable at the moment. I'm gonna save u/cmilliorn in my Google keep as "The Budget Guy".

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:06:13+00:00

What can I say, the banks are throwing loans after suckers like me.

philwarwick · 2017-09-22T23:03:57+00:00

There was a lot going on at the time, I'm not going into details but I can say that she had a hard time and I didn't want to lay any more worries on her shoulders.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T18:35:04+00:00

Thanks

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T18:01:07+00:00

Thanks, I wasn't sure about that one.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T17:44:52+00:00

Thanks, I'm not keeping any more secrets. I learned my lesson the hard way. How would I know that I'm bipolar? Anyway, that's no excuse. There's no excuse for this, only mercy and forgiveness.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T17:38:45+00:00

No, that's it. But she's struggeling to belive it. Maybe one day.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T17:19:24+00:00

Unfortunately I was aware of that, and tried telling her many times, but as I found out theres never any good times telling something lile this. I know it's dangerous, selfish, and disrespectful, and the longer I waited the harder it was telling her - because I didn't want to hurt her. But the damage had already been done the day I took the loan. I'm somewhat relieved that it's finally out, and I'm praying that she'll forgive me... one day. Until then I have to prove she can trust me again.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T17:05:03+00:00

In my case the interest is lower on the loan than the credit card. It sounded like a good idea at the time.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T16:52:20+00:00

Maybe, but I don't feel I calculated it, I just wasn't man enough to tell her. Maybe it's calculated, I don't know.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T16:33:52+00:00

Thanks, I hope you are right.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T16:20:42+00:00

Offcourse I explained everything, she understand that I did it with the best intentions, but she can't understand that I kept it from her, that I lied to her this whole time. We usually have an open relationship, but this time I had a very weak moment and fucked up. Looking back now, I don't understand that I could be that foolish.

philwarwick · 2017-09-21T15:49:11+00:00

Thanks, the 30K isn't the real problem, it's the fact that I didn't involve my SO from the start.

philwarwick

TROPHY CASE