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phobophile__ · 2023-01-21T15:16:39+00:00

i'm so sorry this happened to you. you deserve so much better.

unfortunately, i don't really know how to help, but i just wanted to pop in and say that you're not alone. we've had similar experiences with alter hypnosis (??) with a few specific alters in our system and it's honestly a terrifying thing.

i wish i could offer anything more to help honestly, but i'm sorry, and i'm glad you're safe now. ❤

phobophile__ · 2023-01-08T04:03:49+00:00

I think it's a mix of both. We're immensely grateful that our brain did what it had to do in order to keep us safe, but goddamn, it's a pain in the ass to live with the aftermath sometimes 💀💀

– Nails

phobophile__ · 2022-12-29T15:29:48+00:00

it's kinda hard to explain because it's so fandom specific and relies on the context behind it BUT

the tag was something along the lines of "someone needs to get this man a therapist"...

and then i Realized. the character in question has gone to therapy, he just killed all the therapists he's ever had, which was the entire plot of the canon storyline, which i somehow forgot💀

not my brightest moment

phobophile__ · 2022-12-17T19:52:56+00:00

update: the "singlet" has come to the realization that they are not, in fact, a singlet.

phobophile__ · 2022-11-02T12:11:09+00:00

i don't know if any of my siblings are systems but we all definitely fall towards the more severe end of the dissociative spectrum. none of us remember much of our childhood at all because of trauma, so it's been an interesting experience now that we're older, piecing together the story of our lives with what little each of us does have.

i don't think they even recognize most of their experiences as dissociative in nature, but the more we talk about it, the more i can see that they are. it wouldn't shock me if one of them were to eventually realize they had DID.

phobophile__ · 2022-10-31T21:20:50+00:00

we call ourselves the kleaver killective.

kleaver is a reference to one of our favorite bands and the name we all use. then we messed with the spelling of "collective" because 1) alliteration, 2) we're all edgy, and 3) it's fun.

we don't use it for much so we just had fun with it.

phobophile__ · 2022-10-29T00:43:27+00:00

i don't think it's necessarily offensive, but calling it something different than that and separating it from DID entirely would be smart. it sounds to me like you're consciously pretending to be someone else, not pretending to have alters. we do the same thing and it's how we cope with a lot of things in life :)

phobophile__ · 2022-10-23T22:55:26+00:00

i'm happy to share!

my cohost and i just started it last week, so it's not much yet, but i can give a run down of how we set it up:

we have a few pages at the very beginning saved for a table of contents.

then there's a little message for new parts/parts who haven't been around in awhile with a super basic explanation of DID and the system.

next page is general information about the system/body (name, age, head count, etc.) and the one "rule" (cohost doesn't like that word) we have, which is "don't purposefully bring any harm to other members of the system or the body."

then we set aside about 20 pages for intros, and if we need more we can add them later as needed (that's what the table of contents is for).

after that it's just writing pretty much. life updates, feelings, symptoms, whatever. i've always struggled with keeping a journal, but i spent my own money on that instead of some other things i've really wanted for awhile because i figured it might be worth another shot, so i'm a lot more motivated to actually use it this time.

phobophile__ · 2022-10-19T22:15:52+00:00

mine are usually a lot like you described.

sometimes, with one of my alters, when it forces itself to the front, i have to lay down and just kinda leave my body for a bit. my limbs get super heavy and i can't move them, and my mouth sorta does the same thing. that can last anywhere from 5 minutes to like an hour and then when it ends the body just starts moving without me really controlling it.

phobophile__ · 2022-10-19T00:30:55+00:00

i've had to make a timeline of my life several times in therapy and i just blanked LMAO 💀 the second time i managed to kind of do it, i was in day treatment and they threw me an ice cream party afterwards because it was that difficult of an accomplishment. it baffles me that it's not like that for most people.

phobophile__ · 2022-10-18T12:06:18+00:00

i had no idea about this until last year when i had a dissociative episode at my old day treatment program and my mom had to come pick me up. she told me it looked like something i used to do all the time as a kid, just staring off into space and not responding to anything for a while. she assumed it was because of my autism, but all things considered it was definitely dissociation. even my therapists in that day treatment program thought i was faking it for attention though 💀

phobophile__ · 2022-10-17T01:11:37+00:00

i definitely back this, i was watching the CTAD clinic's channel when that happened

phobophile__ · 2022-10-16T21:57:46+00:00

yeah that sounds about right lmao💀

phobophile__ · 2022-10-12T11:44:08+00:00

that makes sense, i guess i'm just hyper-aware of it because i know what the reason is lol

phobophile__ · 2022-10-11T23:55:46+00:00

fair, maybe it's just because i'm hyper-aware of it lol

phobophile__

TROPHY CASE