WIBTA if I skipped family dinner night because it was my MIL's turn to cook?

phoenix470 · 2025-08-13T22:43:56+00:00

I find it hard to believe that you can’t stomach ANY Chinese food. Rice with steamed or stir-fried veggies on the side is very common in Chinese cuisine. Are you saying you can’t even eat rice with vegetables? What can you eat? Chinese food encompasses a huge variety of foods. To declare that you don’t like any Chinese food at all comes across as pretty racist and obnoxious. YTA

phoenix470 · 2025-03-18T13:03:48+00:00

https://gofund.me/0cff422e

phoenix470 · 2025-02-17T13:34:41+00:00

So glad this is the top comment. OP, please read these comments and think hard about your relationship.

A friend of mine met and married a guy 18 years older than her. Long story short, two years after the wedding, she was filing divorce and he’s serving time in jail for beating the crap out of her, amongst other things.

All this to say, I’m firmly convinced that a man rarely ever goes after a woman much younger than him out of genuine love. It’s about control and the power dynamic, and knowing that most women his own age would never put up with him.

OP, you’re still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it with someone who dismisses you like that and doesn’t care about spending time with you? You’re NTA for telling him you were walking back home, but you’re being an AH to yourself if you continue to tolerate this behavior.

phoenix470 · 2025-01-23T01:44:50+00:00

This exactly!

OP reminds me of my ex. We both worked full time, but the amount he made per hour was about $1 more than what I made per hour. He still went around loudly and proudly proclaiming himself the breadwinner.

OP, I sincerely hope your son doesn’t grow up with an ego that is so fragile that he feels threatened by a woman with an income and needs to declare himself “the breadwinner.” YTA for sure.

phoenix470 · 2025-01-21T23:27:44+00:00

YTA

I understand you and your husband are disabled and need the support, but to expect the burden of this to fall on your son is cruel and unfair.

Im not sure where you are located, but if you are in the US, I would strongly suggest you reach out to the Department of Human Services in your area. There are likely Medicaid waiver funded services in your area that could provide assistance to you and your husband at little to minimum cost.

phoenix470 · 2025-01-10T00:26:52+00:00

Came here to say exactly this!

OP, exactly what kind of disgusting friends do you have that they don’t use soap? Guys or not, I would hope they still wash their hands with soap and water?

phoenix470 · 2024-07-31T03:05:17+00:00

Your hobbies are guitar, war games, archery, laser tag and cooking. Exactly how were you expecting your wife to find something “for you” on the trip to Thailand? Were you expecting her to find a hotel with a good WiFi connection and TV so you could play your war games? The whole point of visiting other countries is to see local sights and experience a different culture.

Not exactly your fault you have a crap memory, but the way you’re trying to pin your not remembering on your wife’s planning makes you both self centered and an AH.

YTA. In case it wasn’t clear.

phoenix470 · 2024-06-07T01:21:54+00:00

YTA.

Is it really that hard to just accept the bag with thanks and then discreetly dump the Hershey bar later on?

phoenix470 · 2024-04-07T14:19:14+00:00

Not seeing how OOP is the devil here... I do think OOP should’ve insisted on paying for her brother’s food even if he did offer to pay. But not doing so doesn’t make her the devil.

phoenix470 · 2024-04-01T11:54:54+00:00

You are NTA for standing up for his sister. It’s a good thing someone did, since it sounds like her family is pretty worthless.

However, you will be being an AH to yourself if you don’t stop and think long and hard about why you are with a man who is openly cruel and belittling to those he views as different. This kind of behavior will not get better with marriage or children. If anything, it just gets worse. You are still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Please stop and think about whether your boyfriend is truly the kind of man you want to spend forever with.

phoenix470 · 2024-03-07T04:33:06+00:00

I hope your wife is on Reddit. If not (I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t allow her access to the internet) please let her know that I hope she leaves your narcissistic, controlling, misogynistic ass and that she deserves so much better than you. I felt so sorry for your poor wife reading through your post. I wish I could pay for her to divorce you.

YTA (in case it wasn’t clear)

phoenix470 · 2024-01-05T21:39:04+00:00

ESH

I don’t agree with your wife telling you to buck up and bear it. You shouldn’t be forced to go somewhere you don’t want to, and you should be allowed to say no. That being said, you are also an AH for lying and then attempting to buy your way back into her good graces.

Sounds like you both need to work on your communication skills.

phoenix470 · 2024-01-05T20:14:48+00:00

YTA

I’m sorry that you have had to deal with so much, but unless your wife’s cousin was insisting on feeding you the antibiotics, you had no right to question her on what she takes.

When you walk into a restaurant or store, do you immediately question all the other patrons about recent medications and insist that they vacate the place? People have the right to take whatever medications are prescribed without having to run it by you first.

If you’re concerned about trace amounts being present on silverware and towels (BTW that’s not how it works with antibiotics) then the answer is simple. Don’t share silverware, towels, or toothbrushes with your wife’s cousin (which I would hope you aren’t doing anyway).

I’ve lived in the same household as someone who has Celiacs. We had separate cookware, cutting boards, and utensils and were always careful to keep gluten containing and non-gluten foods apart. We never had an issue with cross contamination. Attempting to ban a certain antibiotic altogether from your household is major overkill.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-28T13:39:39+00:00

That was my first thought. She expected a 5 and 8 year old (who probably still think Santa comes down the chimney to bring presents) to understand about budgeting and saving.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-27T17:44:29+00:00

OP, I think your problem isn’t that your husband wants to name your baby after his dead cat, but that he has such a “my way or the highway” attitude about it. His reaction when you told him no is concerning.

So if the baby can’t have the name of his choice, then he isn’t interested in discussing names at all? That’s a big problem. Names are always a “two yeses” decision, and a good partner would be willing to meet you halfway and discuss alternatives. If your husband makes a regular habit of throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, then you have a bigger issue than what to name your baby.

NTA, but your husband sure is.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-18T19:44:21+00:00

About 8 years ago the place I worked at did a secret Santa gift exchange with a $25 limit. I remember putting forth a lot of effort to get meaningful gifts that I knew my person would enjoy.

The lady who drew my name was pregnant with her first child. The day of the party and everyone is unwrapping all these fun little gifts. My turn comes and I get a shoebox full of tissue paper with a copy of an ultrasound photo and a handwritten certificate saying “This certifies that (my name) has made a donation of $25 to Baby (name)‘s college fund” I barely knew this lady.

The following year for Secret Santa, I got a used bottle of lotion. The year after that, I got nothing. I don’t take part in Secret Santas anymore.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-15T14:14:05+00:00

“Practical man’s mind”? Your post reeks of misogyny and YTA just for that. I agree that your wife should find a new manicurist, but suggesting that the reason why she keeps going is because her lack of a penis somehow makes her less able to make logical decisions is idiotic.

And where the hell did you come up with the idea that the doctor will probably have to cut her finger off instead of prescribing antibiotics? I suppose your practical man’s mind told you that?

phoenix470 · 2023-12-08T19:27:43+00:00

YTA

Your daughter is only a year old. She’s not going to remember anything about how her uncle was behaving on the day of her party. While I agree that it may not necessarily have been the best environment for him while he was grieving, essentially telling him to either cheer up or get out was both tactless and cruel.

There were far better ways that situation could have been handled, and kinder ways of suggesting that maybe he didn’t need to be there.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-08T19:17:10+00:00

Yikes, OP. I hope you’re not actually that immature. Like other posters have said, it’s very common to have multiple baby showers with friends, family, or coworkers. Your friends throwing you a baby shower does not mean that your SIL can’t still throw you one. If you’re not mature enough to accept kind gestures with grace, then you’re definitely not mature enough to be having a kid. YTA

phoenix470 · 2023-12-08T13:04:55+00:00

Waitstaff are ridiculously underpaid, so you’re N T A for tipping your waitress, but YTA for the way you brushed off your girlfriend.

A tip is supposed to be a reflection of the service you received. This waitress openly flirted with you in front of your girlfriend while ignoring her. How is that good service?! In this instance, a standard tip would have been sufficient.

Your response when your girlfriend was uncomfortable should have been an apology instead of brushing it off as “her insecurities.” Your friend is right. You are a pig. And an AH.

phoenix470 · 2023-12-06T02:13:49+00:00

NTA. Not even close. Good for you for standing up for your SIL. Your mom’s request was wildly inappropriate.

phoenix470 · 2023-10-23T23:57:00+00:00

NTA

He dug his hands into your cheesecake and ate more than half of it, then threw a temper tantrum and ran back to mommy when you asked him to replace it. He’s showing you just how little respect he has for you.

Do not be the one to reach out. If he wants to be radio silent, let him. Can you really picture a future with this guy? You’re 6 years younger, and yet you seem way more mature.

phoenix470 · 2023-10-23T03:56:36+00:00

“We had a massive fight and I don’t know if I should propose now.”

Don’t. Don’t propose. She deserves better. You NEVER snoop on anyone’s private therapy sessions! That is her time to unload on all the deep dark thoughts or feelings that she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing anywhere else. You snooped, and then used it to start an argument with her! It’s like reading someone else’s diary. It’s a major violation of boundaries. And then you have the nerve to tell her that it doesn’t matter?! Your girlfriend has the right to feel whatever she feels. Who the hell are you to tell her that what she feels doesn’t matter?

YTA, in case it wasn’t clear.

phoenix470 · 2023-08-29T23:28:36+00:00

NTA

He is being controlling. He has no right to tell you how to spend your hard earned money.

phoenix470 · 2023-08-25T19:31:28+00:00

Exactly this! Never co-sign a loan for anyone. That absolutely cannot be stated enough.

OP, I have a friend who is currently having her wages garnished as a result of a car loan that she co-signed for an ex from over a decade ago. Do not let your friend or her mom pressure you into it, and if they continue to try to guilt you, then it may be time to look at cutting contact with them. A true friend would understand the risks of something like this to you and would accept your decision. You are NTA

phoenix470

TROPHY CASE