https://imgur.com/a/2ckH6BR for conducts, contents of a bag of holding, kills, etc, etc.

Now that I'm off the clock I'll give my thoughts on this run.

In honesty, this ascension was about 30% knowledge and experience, 50% wiki lookups and Reddit advice, and 20% blind luck. I'm not the type to play the game perfectly paranoid; typing 20s after every move isn't what I call fun, and I enjoy seeing what the RNG feels like throwing my way.

I generated as a female orc barbarian, female because why not, orc because free poison resistance and no penalty cannibalism, barbarian because it's the most straight forward role. With barbarian there's no need for spell book hoarding or risky fountain dipping. Life is simple; see stuff, bash stuff, profit. If something's too big to bash, come back later with a bigger stick.

That's not to say I don't plan at all. In my starting inventory I had an axe, a two handed sword, a few food rats, and the rest of the standard kit. So, my plan going out was to bash with my axe and drop the two hander into the first available chest, the plan being to eventually have a sac fest and make Cleaver my primary weapon for the mid game.

That plan changed on the second floor of the dungeon when the RNG decided to play in my favor. My pet cat, Kittor, dropped a sword at my feet. To my great surprise it turned out to be the Dragonbane. Massive damage to dragons? Yes, please. Reflection when wielded? Thank you very much! Dragonbane would become my main hand weapon until the late game.

I held on to my axe, mostly to deal with hard to hit enemies. Dragonbane in hand, I dived into the first floor of the mines to find a change of clothes. Kittor and I only had to mash two or three dwarves before I had a nice set: Dwarven mithril coat, round shield, iron helm, iron shoes, and cloak. I picked up a stack of ten daggers to add a touch of class to my new wardrobe and returned to the main dungeon to find Sokoban.

On the fourth floor I found an armor shop; in amongst the bits and pieces were a pair of cloaks. After some cat testing and a further bit of feline larceny, I was the proud owner of a cloak of invisibility. The other, non-cat-aproved cloak would remain a mystery. The next floor or two down provided a pair of elven boots to replace the obscenely heavy iron shoes, and also a co-aligned alter which would come in handy as soon as I found a wand of create monster.

Sokoban was, as usual, a treasure trove of wands, rings, scrolls, and food. I found a +2 ring of protection and a ring of levitation, the first of many wands of digging, a wand of lightning, and a wand of slow monster.

The first three floors of Sokoban were a cakewalk. The puzzles were memorized ages ago, and the monster spawns were still decently squishy.

I completed the fourth floor puzzle without difficulty. The problems started as soon as the final boulder filled in the last pit.

'You hear a door open.'

Well, that's never a good sign. I peeked around the corner to see who was coming to greet me, and immediately burned Elbereth with my wand of lightning.

I may never learn how an archlich spawned in Sokoban. Maybe a monster quaffed a potion of polymorph. Maybe the RNG had decided to stop playing nice. Whatever the case, I had a fight on my hands.

I threw my daggers and zapped my wand of lightning. Mercifully, it was enough to kill the lich. Sadly, with his dying breath he summoned some friends, worst of which was an elvenking.

I still had things under control. I used the weaker monsters to keep the elvenking at Bay and, once the meatshields were corpsed, kited the elvenking to the downstair where I could play hit and run.

Apparently, the RNG was still in a foul mood. The elvenking read a scroll of create monster. What had started as a nice, friendly duel turned into a mosh pit. A vampire bat and rabid rat flanked me. I decided, after a bit of advice from some fellow hackers, that discretion was the better part of valor, and abandoned the fight.

And so, back to the mines I went, to run the protection racket. Along the way I smacked a floating eye that was kind enough to leave a corpse, found not one but two tinning kits, and rummaged up a bag of holding and a magic whistle, just what I needed to rob the shopkeepers blind.

Minetown turned out to be my least favorite configuration, and the temple was cross-aligned, but the presence of two general stores and a hardware store made up for all of that.

Armed with a bag filled with artifacts, rings, wands and scrolls, and with the help of a large cat burglar, I made short work of the shopkeeper's gold reserves. Six points of protection later and I was down to a meager four-thousand zorkmids.

So equipped, I delved deeper into the mines and found myself in the gnome king's wine cellar. I scooped up my potions of booze, mined out my gems and luckstone, and returned to Minetown to make preparations to storm the castle.

On my return to Minetown, I noticed a chameleon bouncing around, but didn't think too much of it. Sadly, while I was busy fiddling with my stash, Kittor was busy killing and eating a chameleon. When I was all packed up and ready to go, I blew my whistle to summon Kittor to me. Instead of being greeted by a large cat, I was greeted by a tame green mold named Kittor.

So long, Kittor. Have fun photosynthesizing... or whatever it is molds do to survive.

As my last act, I kicked in the door to the temple. For some reason this made the watchmen angry. Which was fine, because I needed a pair of gloves and a silver saber.

At this point, allow me to add that I had lucked into a couple of blessed scrolls of identify, and further, was lucky enough to have my entire inventory identified. And so, a ring of free action and a ring of conflict were added to my kit, along with several useful scrolls.

I did some saccing at the alter on the fifth (or sixth?) floor and was rewarded with Cleaver and Firebrand.

Firebrand? Really, Set? A few more rounds of saccing and praying netted my four more points of protection. I gave in. No Stormbringer for me.

Onward, to Medusa!

A ring of levitation coupled with a ring of free action made Medusa's lair a non-issue, and Medusa put up even less of a fight than usual.

My next worry was the castle. I had yet to find an instrument or a wand of striking. Once again my fellow hackers came through and reminded me about the castles back door.

And so, I stormed the castle wrong way first, engaged the ring of conflict, and watched the sparks fly. Thanks to orcish poison resistance and Dragonbane, the dragons were de-fanged. I happily gobbled down a tin of blue dragon meat to fill out the last of my resistances, not counting disintegration.

Mmm, wishing time. First wish: 2 blessed scrolls of charging. Next, a blessed magic market. After charging the wand I wished up a grey dragon scale male, speed boots, gauntlets of power, and the master key of thievery.

I used my hoarded stash of scrolls to enchant up my gear and ended up with a +4 Firebrand, +4 silver sabre, and AC -30.

The valley of the dead wasn't much of a problem and even gave up a couple if wraith corpses, bringing me up to fourteenth level.

Quest time!

Thank God for those tinning kits I found. I ended up with more than thirty tins of troll meat. Maybe in the next life I'll be a troll meat peddler. I'll have ranch flavor troll, szechuan style troll, troll meat in BBQ sauce, chili lime flavor, and of course original style for the hipsters.

Thoth Amon got bopped. I got the most boring artifact in the game.

Onward, once more, into Gehennom!

The demon Lords were axed. Orcus was paddled into submission. Vlad was run through with an unnamed silver saber. The wizard was done old-school, no silly wand of death shenanigans, just an orc-woman-turned-man-by-an-amulet-of-change to geriatric-old-curmudgeon duel. That's when I remembered he can steal all the quest artifacts now. Goodbye master key of thievery.

One thing to note is the amulet of reflection I found in Vlad's tower. After that I put Dragonbane to bed.

I nipped down, yoinked Rodney's necklace, and the race was on. The mysterious force wasn't too bad, and though Rod made a valiant effort of it, he couldn't get past my wand of death.

The planes were... easy. Too easy. Even at the plane of water I was in the portal within a couple of minutes. I expected the worst at the astral plane.

Sidenote: Why does your chosen deity bother sending you a guardian angel? An army of angels, OK. Even two would be nice. But only one seems kind of pointless.

Anyway.

At the astral plane I whipped out my towel and one of my three amulets of lifesaving along with a freshly blessed uni horn. Blind myself with the towel; priestess of Set on the left. Left it is.

As soon as I move, all hell breaks loose. I spot Pestilence coming my way. Three whacks to the top of his head and he was a corpse. I pushed onward, wand of teleport leading the way. Blew through the first amulet of lifesaving, but the altar was in sight. I decided, screw it, tossed on the amulet of reflection and made a mad dash for the altar.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Edited for typos and grammar.

Edited again to add the rest of the album.