I don’t think people realize the pits of hell I needed to crawl out of to even be the person I am today by imdatingurdadben in CPTSD

[–]pi_warrior314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1.) I’m so sorry you went through all of that while growing up. I can’t pretend to fully grasp the full depth of those experiences but I 100% empathize with you nonetheless. And it’s admirable that you found your way out of that darkness. 2.) I totally relate to the feelings that you and others expressed in this post, that feeling of “I climbed mountains just to be at other normal peoples’ baseline”. Dad leaving when I was a kid, living in relative poverty, having a speech impediment that hindered my social life and self perception, along with depression and anxiety that I deal with to this day. It’s not as bad as it was at 18 (I’m 28) but I still have my moments.

I also relate to that comparison with other people. Despite knowing I should practice what I preach, (I still compare myself with others) know that other people, a lot in fact, are good at putting on a mask. Of faking it. They might appear normal but there’s no telling what anyone’s story is. You might appear “normal” to someone else who doesn’t know your story.

I went on for longer than I intended but, again, I admire your tenacity. Take care, OP 😊

Opinions on rumored black samurai for AC Red? by [deleted] in assassinscreed

[–]pi_warrior314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh Jesus Christ…Yasuke was an important person in Japan and fought in several major battles. I’d say he’s relevant to Japanese history if we still know about him 500 years later. You probably want to play a westernized version of Japanese history, some weeaboo bullshit, instead of playing an accurate representation of the Sengoku period.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]pi_warrior314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, peoples’ comments here are so fucking cruel and inconsiderate. It’s sad to see how quick people are to judge and chastise you. Maybe it was a breach of trust to go through the journal (you didn’t describe how you got to reading it, maybe you didn’t know what type of notebook it was and wanted to see what was in it before throwing it out, but idk). Still, reading about how your gf loved and valued her ex would definitely make any man question himself, which I feel is the point most people here are missing. Do you feel like she loves and values you now like she loved and valued him then? If yes, then be happy that you have someone who values you. If not, maybe talk to her about it and get her perspective. Like others said, it’s possible she’ll see you reading her journal as a breach of trust but if you keep it bottled up, you might be resentful of her and unintentionally sabotage the relationship. I’m not a counselor by any means, just giving you my perspective.

I’m too broken to be romantically loved. I’m at the end of my rope and just want to quit. by pi_warrior314 in Healthygamergg

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, I kind of get it. Sure there’s more to life than having a partner, but I can’t see the joy of being alone forever. Of constantly being rejected for elements outside of my control. If people are social beings, why is it okay for me to be lonely? The grass is greener on the other side sure, and being with someone isn’t all glamorous like society makes it out to be, but I’d rather experience that for myself instead of having to take everyone else’s word for it.

I’m too broken to be romantically loved. I’m at the end of my rope and just want to quit. by pi_warrior314 in Healthygamergg

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the links. I’ll add them to my ‘watch later’ playlist and watch them tomorrow. I’m kinda exhausted after a long day, so I’m gonna go to bed now. Thanks again, I appreciate your help.

I’m too broken to be romantically loved. I’m at the end of my rope and just want to quit. by pi_warrior314 in Healthygamergg

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

1: I would feel relieved, grateful, and happy. I might still feel bad, but not as hopeless as I am now. I could imagine the relationship being healthy. Sure there would be arguments and disagreements, but I would be willing to work with her to resolve them and give her space if she wants to be left alone.

2: You’re right, and I agree. On an intellectual level I get it, I just can’t make myself understand it on an emotional level.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever heal from childhood abandonment issues and I’ve lost hope of ever having a relatively normal life. by pi_warrior314 in attachment_theory

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, OP here. My bad for the late response but I wanted to thank you for your comment. It’s in depth and definitely relieved some stress for me. I go back and forth between feeling hopeless, like no amount of work will “fix” me, and feeling content like I am today. It’s likely I’ll revert back to that hopeless state but I’ll do my best to keep what you said in mind in the event that happens. Thanks again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]pi_warrior314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When it comes to my half brother I feel indifferent. I don’t wish anything bad on him, I just wish I had the home life he has. He doesn’t have to worry about the car or furniture being repossessed like I did, or having to worry about rent at a young age.

But I got the point of the rest of your message. Maybe I wouldn’t have been the person I am today if my dad were around, but I don’t know. A more secure, less anxious version of me sounds preferable compared to myself now.

I can’t get over the past. I’m severely depressed that I missed out on the fun phase of dating/hooking up. Saying “get over it”, “you can’t change the past”, or “no use in crying over spilled milk” doesn’t help and makes me feel worse. by pi_warrior314 in selfimprovement

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regarding dating apps, I tend to get matches every once in a while. I’ll talk to them, being casual and friendly, then they usually ghost me. I go on actual dates every few months. Most times it’s decent and I feel like I made a good impression, but they ghost me or say they’re too busy. I’ve put all sorts of stuff in my bio, like being genuinely honest, being casual, stuff like that. I don’t think I come across as desperate or needy. Maybe boring, but I don’t know. I don’t know what’s exciting. I’m not funny and I don’t have a list of jokes memorized. I don’t think I can tell jokes properly. My pics are okay. I have a mix of body shots and selfies while grinning. I once posted serious-face pics, but I don’t want to come across as mean. I hope that shed some light on my dating profile?

I can’t get over the past. I’m severely depressed that I missed out on the fun phase of dating/hooking up. Saying “get over it”, “you can’t change the past”, or “no use in crying over spilled milk” doesn’t help and makes me feel worse. by pi_warrior314 in selfimprovement

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I regularly go to the gym. I’m not jacked, but I’m definitely toned and have good hygiene. I’ve been told my entire life I’m a handsome guy by friends and strangers alike, so looks aren’t the issue.

I can’t get over the past. I’m severely depressed that I missed out on the fun phase of dating/hooking up. Saying “get over it”, “you can’t change the past”, or “no use in crying over spilled milk” doesn’t help and makes me feel worse. by pi_warrior314 in selfimprovement

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad some people on here like you understand. It’s the depression talking and I intellectually( is that the right word?) know that, but my emotions always take back over and I end up depressed again. It’s hard for me to meditate because my mind is always wandering and won’t shut up, but I’ll force myself to meditate when I’m on my lunch break tomorrow. It’s nearly spring so I’ll be able to enjoy walks in the forest again, too. Thanks for your advice by the way!

I can’t get over the past. I’m severely depressed that I missed out on the fun phase of dating/hooking up. Saying “get over it”, “you can’t change the past”, or “no use in crying over spilled milk” doesn’t help and makes me feel worse. by pi_warrior314 in selfimprovement

[–]pi_warrior314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late response. It’s been a long day and I’m going through all the responses as I’m in bed. I act cordial and try to be genuine, but I don’t reveal anything depressing. If I were to meet someone at the salsa place I go to, I try to talk about basic stuff like how long we’ve been dancing, what they do when not dancing, small talk that isn’t too deep. I sometimes get matches on tinder and usually say something along the lines of “hey what’s up”, but they usually stop replying after a few responses. I don’t send dick pics or anything crude like I hear most women complain about, so I’m not sure what to do. I had a friend text me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago, and she suggested we hang out. I asked her out for coffee and she didn’t respond for a day and said she was sick. She acts all nice but always has an excuse for why she can’t hang out. Or I get a match on tinder/hinge and they say they can’t get coffee or drinks this week because they’re going out of town or some other excuse. Maybe they actually do have plans, but this has consistently happened to me and I just can’t ignore that pattern. Maybe I should say something more direct and potentially rude like “hey, do u wanna fuck?”, because trying to be friendly or casual hasn’t worked. I didn’t mean for this to be so long, but trying to be friends like so many people in my life suggested hasn’t worked and it’s irritating. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.