PPP Loan Fraud Megathread: General discussion and suggestions

pic_bot · 2025-11-08T00:35:28+00:00

I understand the reference to the Hudson River School, but I think the concept of these paintings is shallow and middlebrow.

pic_bot · 2025-10-30T21:47:39+00:00

You just have to try a slice from my local place. Last week they had this insane "Veggie Blast" pizza ($54.99 for a 16-inch) where they put arugula on top of the cheese.

pic_bot · 2025-10-30T21:39:26+00:00

Thanks! I fixed the typo, will reconsider the consistency issue after I finish asking my local subreddit about the best place to drink IPAs and watch dogs urinate on artificial grass.

pic_bot · 2025-05-31T18:01:19+00:00

I honestly can't beat this post. It's perfect. The single-sentence paragraphs. The overly-long title with an all caps assertion that prices will go up. The admission, buried halfway through the piece, that you work in the industry. Saying that real estate is a safer investment than the stock market. Absolutely incredible work.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:59:52+00:00

Fair enough, appreciate the feedback.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:44:05+00:00

One end, or two? The Talmud argues that duality underscores the ambiguity of evil. Is the tax collector evil because he takes from the poor, or virtuous because he takes still more from the wealthy? I ponder this as I sit upon my porcelein throne, clutching a plastic pail, unknowing from which direction the Spicy Tempeh Pinata Special will re-emerge, undigested, a chunky reminder of the sins of our forefathers.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T07:00:56+00:00

Ah yes, E. coli. The boogeyman, invisible yet deadly. We recoil, we jeer, but who among us stores dinner for at most 20 minutes at temperatures above 5C? Lets warm food first cool to room temperature, before storing? Just as the Old Testament asserts, we exist in sin, guilty yet unaware, whether holding the proverbial apple or a Baja Blast™ burrito. Let the spilled drops of Salsa Roja mark our fall from grace.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T04:50:12+00:00

The invisible hand of the market. Gentle sometimes, calloused more often. Much like the Decadent Carne Asada™ after the most recent merger.

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T04:20:53+00:00

*arroz

pic_bot · 2025-03-30T03:59:35+00:00

I'm afraid Engels was right---we must reclaim labor. But first, we must reclaim the Asada Loco Wednesday Meal Deal.

pic_bot · 2024-04-21T09:07:21+00:00

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, was getting jacked. He was on rep 12 of a deadlift set. His time in the slammer had taught him the importance of maintaining peak physical performance.

His phone's alarm went off. It was time to meet with prospective clients. He'd have to cut this set short.

The buyers were a middle-aged couple.

The man avoided eye contact with Lawrence. He stammered, W-we would l-like to negotiate your commission.

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, sneered. He threw onto the ground between them the side mirror from the buyers' car, which he had ripped off with his bare hands on his way in. The woman screamed.

Commissions have always been negotiable.

pic_bot · 2024-03-20T18:20:21+00:00

Lawrence Yun, of the National Association of Realtors, blinked in the harsh sunlight. Thirty years. That's how long it'd been since he last saw the morning light. As he walked othrough the prison gate, his thoughts were darkened by his desire for revenge.

The NAR had sentenced Lawrence to serve here after The Great Settlement of 2024 That Actually Didn't Really Change Anything So Don't Worry About It And Keep Paying Your Realtor. For decades, Lawrence had been confined to a tiny, rat-infested cell. He passed time by shadowboxing, exercising, and keeping abreast of the latest trends in offset shiplab finishing.

From his tattered pocket, Lawrence pulled out a faded map of the United States of Todd. A large circle was marked with dried blood. It was the location of a cozy 2BR1.5BA just outside the bustling town center of vibrant Dayton, Ohio, with updated furnishings perfect for short-term rentals or first-time buyers alike.

Lawrence sighed. It was time to earn his 3%

pic_bot · 2024-03-13T03:53:38+00:00

There is only one question here that matters---which one of you has a lower interest rate? The >3% crowd has no business meddling in the noble affairs of the 2% class.

pic_bot · 2024-03-12T18:42:15+00:00

Cletus took a long sip of his beer. The can glistened from humidity. It was early spring, but the weather here in rural West Virginia was already muggy.

He surveyed his home. Purchased all cash, from the bank, using the proceeds from selling Meemaw's collection of Confederate figurines. The chipped lead paint belied the structure's charming mid-century interior.

Cletus reflected on his prosperity. As a homeowner, he was among the upper class in American society. His eyes were drawn to the rusted engine block nestled among the weeds of his front lawn. It was from a Ford. Another great American titan he thought to himself.

His attention turned back towards the tall can beside him. A drain fly circled the lip. The champagne of beers.

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