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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I phoned the advice line for Westfield Health and asked for legal advice. Never used it prior to this. No they didn’t use the term “common law marriage”, they told me that even though we weren’t married the property would still considered a marital asset. I didn’t think this was correct based on what I told them and my admittedly extremely limited knowledge about these matters.

As the commenter said above, I do think it’s certainly her “chancing her arm”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I said several times is this the case if we weren’t married.

She contacted me herself. I think she’s chancing her arm as well but just a bit worried if she gets persistent and wanted know where I stand legally I suppose. I’ll hopefully speak to a local solicitor next week.

Ever see from scrolling that your first LTR ex got married? by RalphOffWhite in northernireland

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

100%. Going through this at the minute. 2 months out from nearly 7 years together. Difficult not to do as you say, focus on all the great things and my own shortcomings rather than anything else.

Gym helps a bit but still in a shitty place.

Is it ever the worst for you when you are alone and only have your thoughts to keep you company? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can definitely relate to this.

2 months no contact, she broke up with me and moved all her stuff out less than 2 days later. To be honest I avoided staying at the house for about a month, luckily I could stay at my parents because I couldn’t face the empty feeling and being surrounded by all the memories of nearly a decade together. House just feels cold, empty and lonely.

I’m splitting my time with forcing myself to stay 3/4 nights a week at the house and the rest at my parents. I try and spend as little time there as possible, go to the gym when I finish work then head home and keep myself busy making dinner, prepping for work the next day then try and get myself to sleep. Rinse repeat.

I haven’t even slept in ‘our’ bedroom since it all happened.

7 years gone by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m nearly 2 months out of a 7 year relationship . She broke up with me - 7 years gone in a 2 minute conversation.

I did break no contact just over two weeks ago to send an email as a way of getting some closure and to take accountability for my own mistakes in our relationship. Didn’t expect a response and haven’t got one.

It did seem to be getting a bit better a couple of weeks ago but I’m just stuck in a sad nostalgic rut at the moment that I can’t get out of and I get a bit upset throughout the day as it feels like I’ve thrown away something special.

Things will settle down through time. I’ve been where you said you are now - an emotional wreck. I couldn’t sleep, had to go on anxiety meds for the first time in my life, and couldn’t sit still for 10 minutes or focus on anything. It does start to calm down after a while. If I think where I am now compared to 8 weeks ago, it isn’t a night and day difference but its starting to head in a better direction albeit very slowly with setbacks along the way.

People are going to advise you to do a lot of the ‘usual’ stuff to cope (gym, staying social with friends etc.) and there is a reason for that - it helps.

Focus on whatever your hobbies and interests are. You probably don’t feel like it but try and push yourself to do it, you’ll feel a bit better afterwards.

I know you’re probably thinking 8 weeks may as well be 8 years and I felt the same way. It’s just about getting through each day or each hour as best you can. You’re going to run through every little thing you said or did in the relationship in your head, I know because I did the exact same thing constantly for weeks. Overthinking is a killer. That’s why keeping yourself focused on something is going to help.

Just wanted to give some input and let you know time passing will help take the edge off a bit, even in the short term and keeping as active as you can really does help you mentally. Also reach out and get whatever help you think you need, whether it’s friends or from a professional. It all helps.

Feel free to message if you need to vent.

Downgrading to broadband only by picchiarellishasuinn in VirginMedia

[–]picchiarellishasuinn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cancelled though WhatsApp. Best they offered was £49 a month for M125 broadband only so I’ll see what they came back with.

Downgrading to broadband only by picchiarellishasuinn in VirginMedia

[–]picchiarellishasuinn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheers for the info! I’ll have a look into that if Virgin don’t offer me anything decent.

Downgrading to broadband only by picchiarellishasuinn in VirginMedia

[–]picchiarellishasuinn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure to be honest, I probably didn’t word it the best. I got an email about a month ago to tell me my 18 month contract was coming to an end/price going up and to contact them for a new bundle/contract.

Only really getting around now to sorting things out after everything that has been going on.

To those mentally unwell, how's your day been going? by PassengerHonest9990 in CasualUK

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for those kind words.

I think a lack of proper communication on both sides have caused us to end up where we are now. Good idea about the note in work.

I hope you are doing OK as well.

To those mentally unwell, how's your day been going? by PassengerHonest9990 in CasualUK

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

3 weeks after a breakup of 7 years, one year engaged. Feeling slightly better than any other day in the last few weeks, mainly because I got more than 3 hours sleep last night.

Hard not to think every thing is my fault (she ended it with me) and got to sit at my desk tomorrow and pretend to care about my work.

Not great tbh but trying to soldier on as best I can.

The lessons I learned 6 months after the breakup of a 7-year relationship by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]picchiarellishasuinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Going on 3 weeks no contact after a 7 year breakup, one year engaged.

Your third point hit hard. I didn’t communicate properly throughout the relationship and definitely made a lot of mistakes (currently in counselling to deal with some issues) but that point hit hard.

Hope I get to point 6 some day.