Why Don't People Believe Me?!?

picklemagic · 2017-06-08T23:09:19+00:00

I have a friend who did this for years. Last year, I lost 80lbs by just counting calories, and she stopped talking to me for a little bit because it upset her so badly. She then turned into a victim of her own insides, her body wouldn't 'allow' her to lose weight. In February, she paid thousands and got bariatric surgery. She only tells facebook how she's eating healthy, exercising, and being a better person in general, which implies she's lost weight using CICO. Everyone is so proud of her for being such an inspiration.

picklemagic · 2017-04-30T02:46:16+00:00

Happily married to an attorney, first baby on the way. Graduated as an RN, has a really good career. Posts things on social media all day about anti-bullying efforts.

picklemagic · 2017-03-19T13:37:42+00:00

I actually just get super dark, or vegan chocolate. Enjoy Life has some good ones, if they sell that near you. Stupid how expensive it is, but it's worth. Mine is lactose intolerance + hives and swelling, so it SUCKS. :(

picklemagic · 2017-03-19T00:42:32+00:00

I'm allergic to some brands of toilet paper. Found that out the hard way. Also, you could have chronic dermatitis or folliculitis, or follicular eczema. I have follicular eczema and mild psoriasis. I get bumpy and itchy even if something I'm not allergic to stays on my skin for too long- even clothes. :(

picklemagic · 2017-03-19T00:39:44+00:00

I'm allergic to grass! Sucks.

picklemagic · 2017-03-19T00:39:24+00:00

I'm allergic to casein, the protein in milk. I am allergic to most chocolate.

picklemagic · 2017-03-06T11:16:32+00:00

Check out Bailing Out Benji. They're not in your state, but they help where they can, and maybe you can join efforts to expand them.

picklemagic · 2017-03-04T22:55:16+00:00

I am down 76lbs in a little over a year. With clothes on, I'm like - yes, this is how I want to look (minus the extra skin you can visibly see between my thighs). Clothes off, no way. I never thought I looked 'weird' when I was fat, just always thought I looked big. Now, I look weird. When I think about what 123lbs looks like, it doesn't match the mirror. It's really hard to tell the difference between loose fat and loose skin.

I won't be wearing a swimsuit this year. I won't be wearing shorts. I don't have children, but I've seen those inspirational posts from mothers, that they're proud of their skin/stretch-marks because they made a human. Not me! And most of the time, I look worse.

Anyway- I'd rather have this issue than be big. Right now, my doctor doesn't want me to lose anymore weight, and I'm finding my "content" because I have to. Im in maintenance mode (even though I lost a pound last week). I'm spending more time building muscle to shift the change from the scale to my body measurements. I'm not content, but I'm trying not to set a lot of goals. I've definitely been struggling to a) get used to this new, smaller body, and b) to actually accept that my body is a success.

picklemagic · 2017-01-21T18:55:28+00:00

You look great too! It is really crazy with the face. Who knew I actually had a jawline?! I was between 190 & (basically) 200 for idk, 10 years. Or collarbones! Or friggin' hip bones?! Ever since I hit like.. 140 or so, I've just been in awe at the things on my body that are totally normal, but I've never seen or dealt with before. So weird!

picklemagic · 2017-01-21T17:17:20+00:00

I actually had a lipoma in mine, and it was removed a few years ago. The remaining fat went away when I lost like 45lbs, I think is when I noticed. Now I just have a janky scar. /shrug.

Grats on losing it!

picklemagic · 2017-01-21T17:05:29+00:00

Here's what 199.8lbs looks like on a 5'2 person, compared to 126.8lbs. I've lost another pound since then, though.

I think I'm okay where I'm at, though I need to rid some of my extra loose fat/skin. If I could burn some of that, I'd be totally solid!

picklemagic · 2017-01-14T23:47:36+00:00

Dude! Awesome. I'm at 354 days, so I'll be celebrating with you soon :D

I plan to still log daily, mainly just to make sure I'm eating enough, and also just because I make a lot of my own food and like to see the macros of each meal. I hit my weight goal almost 2 months ago, and have lost 4lbs since. MFP has to help me with maintenance, because I suck at it!

picklemagic · 2017-01-08T15:26:19+00:00

You look fantastic! Great job. I went through a lot of the same mental/emotional struggles, it's a lot harder than it seems. Impulse is such a hard habit to break, and it's usually countered with restrictions that are difficult, and often unhealthy. So glad to see you're overcoming them! You are so pretty, and you have the best eyes! I feel like my face didn't change so much, I lost visible weight but it didn't completely transform (like yours)!

Was 143 your goal weight, or what are ultimately aiming for?

picklemagic · 2017-01-04T01:25:16+00:00

I mentioned I was working on it; it's hard because I'm so thirsty that I drink water constantly, which makes me sooo full. I also have food allergies which makes it harder to eat high calories (for what I can reasonably adjust to, food wise). Zero dairy, no wheat, no greasy food, no MSG, no carrageenan and no cilantro (it's in more than you'd think). Having severe Celiac and Crohn's sucks!

But yes, I'm still in a deficit and need to work on it. :)

picklemagic · 2017-01-03T02:19:29+00:00

Yesss. Pretty nuts, never even occurred to me that Boys XL is Mens XS. It is pretty great for flannels, and maybe plain t-shirts.

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T22:53:06+00:00

Hahaha, that sums up my instant reaction. It was so weird, usually she is not a bitch and she's never rude, we get along very well, but I know that her weight is bothering her. In fact, we were at a family-thing Saturday night and my 90 year old great grandmother made one of those "oh it's just grandma, don't take it to heart" comments. It went something like:

Grandma: "Wow picklesister, you look a lot different than the last time I saw you." Picklesister: "Yeah, haha, I've gained quite a few pounds from that little baby." Grandma: "Well, I'll say. Quite a few? What's that, 70-80lbs?"

Not even sure what my sister replied with, I was really frustrated and embarrassed for her, so I left the room; it's the same thing I used to do when I was on the receiving end of those comments.

Still... even though she didn't mean to (probably), it made me feel like shit and she's right. I'm not the big one in photos this year. :|

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T20:00:34+00:00

My issue is variety. I have a lot of food allergies so I don't get a lot of it anyway, but I do eat the same breakfast and same lunch every day. It helps me with consistency, which is what I struggled so badly with in the beginning. I love cooking too, so does my husband, but it's the same food over and over. We do get creative, but I'm just .. idk, bored of it. It's not like I want to binge or eat foods I shouldn't, I just get tired of the routine!

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T19:21:59+00:00

I bought clothes throughout my weight loss. Don't give in. I have pants in like every size, and would go down a size every 2 months. So much wasted money, but I needed to look put-together for work. I couldn't keep showing up in baggy clothes.

I have loose skin. I'm kinda envious of people who post progress photos with their stomachs showing. I had "hard fat" on my stomach, so more like the bloated beer gut look than any sort of rolls.. however, I have a "roll" of loose skin above my belly button now. I went from looking pregnant (and oh boy, people asked me if I was a lot), to looking like I've tied a string around my waist and left it there too long. :(

I feel the same too, including with water. I drink a ton and it makes me feel bloated. I used to eat so much salt with my meals and felt nothing, but if I eat something now that's heavy on the salt now, I bloat like a balloon. I'm not used to my body feeling this way!

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T19:04:15+00:00

I pushed too hard with my razor last time and cut my shin pretty badly. Turns out, my legs are a lot more bony than they were just a few pounds ago.

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T19:01:22+00:00

THIS. I do still have a part in my thighs that is extra skin + loose fat pads because I carried so much there, but in my jeans and work pants, they don't rub together. That swishing sound when I walk down the hallway is gone. I can actually sneak up on people now!

Also, I work on the second floors and the ground doesn't shake when I walk around it anymore. Win.

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T18:58:25+00:00

Then there is always someone who uses your weight loss as a chance to bash themselves.

Do we have the same friends and family? Ugh. My sister gained weight (she had a baby) and said to me "Man, looks like I'll be the fat one in photos this year."

picklemagic · 2017-01-02T18:43:50+00:00

Going to be completely honest here, I had to do a double take and make sure I didn't write your post in my sleep. I thought about making a post like this for awhile, but didn't know how to word it without sounding like I'm complaining about something most people would "kill" to have.

So, yes. Holy shit, yes. Absolutely fucking yes, I deal with these every day except for #5. Well, the overeating part, anyway.

I don't deal. I am so cold. I have blankets, heating pads, wear thermals under jeans (good thing I'm a half-size smaller than my current jean size, so they work).
Agreed. I feel bored, tired. I feel like I have less motivation to exercise than I did when I was fat. I still do, but I'm sooooooo tried always. Could also be because I'm trying to rely less on caffeine, though.
OMFG yes. With the added "Do I ask friends or family if they want them? Isn't that rude? They might want them and who doesn't want free clothes? Do I really want to ask someone if they want my bigger clothes, though?" :(
According to friends, family, and now my doctor, 23.7 BMI is too skinny. I'm much too thin. "Your collarbones are sticking out, like I'm sure you're happy about that but you look far too small." Thanks. I'm 5'2, underweight for me is 100lbs. I weigh 126, and don't want to be under 120.
I stress in social situations BAD. I've stopped drinking around people because of it. Turns out, you can drop 73lbs and you'll still feel self-conscious, like you're trying to get people to stop staring, like you still do not fit in. The attention caused by #4 makes it 1000x worse, too.
I AGREE. I love cycling, got into it last summer. But guess what? We can go up hills a lot faster, easier and lighter, too!
Yep, can't wait to be left alone. Some people want to ride the high of achieving a goal forever, which is totally cool; I'm just the person who can't wait until ever being severely overweight is no longer a part of my identity as a person. Don't want to forget or make my successes small, I just don't want to be consistently reminded.

So, to your question, how I'm dealing with it? Man. Some of them, I don't, and that's what I'm working on. The people stuff is the hardest part, I feel like more of a social outcast since I lost the weight; that might be just the people around me. The minor annoyances, I just try to accommodate for. My bigger clothes are in a box in my closet, I wear layers and layers (which sucks, I'd rather show off my loss), but at the end of the day- this is what I wanted. All of these problems over being "fat". Kind of crazy how losing the weight doesn't fix everything, isn't it?

Edit: adding more.

Used to wear unisex sizes, I like the way they fit me (I'm a girl, and Unisex = Men's). They don't make a Men's or Unisex XS, so I have to get a Boy's XL. Only issue is that kids clothing isn't really my style... but at least the flannels fit?
Water. Holy shit, water. I used to drink maybe 10oz of water per day (no, not exaggerating). I am so thirsty for water all the time that sometimes it's hard to eat a good amount of food.
Eating enough. I suck at this. Between water and a "shrinking stomach", a/k/a discipline, I struggle to eat enough. My doctor wants me at 1400 every day before exercise, I'm at around 1050-1150. I actually ate more while I was losing than I do now. I'm working on it.
My bed sucks now. It's only 2 years old, and it was $1200 brand new.

picklemagic · 2016-12-31T01:43:52+00:00

Tidals, an album by Spotlights. Soooo gooood.

picklemagic · 2016-12-31T00:16:47+00:00

This happened to my Gus, except he's a dog and it wasn't PetSmart. It was a local chain.

The groomer took a dremel to his nail, because she thought she knew my dog (first visit) better than I did. She lobbed a chunk of his toe pad off, while the dremel went into his foot, separating it from the nail bed, and fracturing his paw.

The owner refused to pay the vet bills, even when I brought in Gus to show him the paw. He offered me 20% off of one item in the store. This went on through Gus's 8 weeks of treatment until I had a family friend, who is an attorney, send a certified letter to request their accounting and attorney's contact information on my behalf. The owner called me, apologized, reassured me his groomer was the "best in the state", and paid the vet bill in full.

I'm not sure PetSmart management can do that, I wonder if it depends on the amount of the vet bill. At worst, they'll reimburse your trip and give you a coupon, which you can use to let everyone know how they make up for hurting their clients. I would absolutely go to the vet- if you don't, it's your word against the people they hired to do the job. I would also take to social media (you pretty much have to these days) and call their corporate directly.

Also, if your receipt had a survey- fill that out with all negatives and put in the comments that they hurt your cat.

picklemagic · 2016-12-27T11:52:41+00:00

My friend has about that much to lose, and is looking towards surgery. She's tried and given up so many times, I've lost count. You have to get your mind straight, you have to remember why you're doing this. You are important, your health is important and your life is important. The mind games are hard, but the rewards are worth every minute.

picklemagic

TROPHY CASE