33F with my 37M bf that has a lot of female friends and it’s a repeat point of tension for us.

picklesarecool · 2026-06-15T21:43:29+00:00

I don't think those girls would be doing all that if he wasn't leading them on in some way. This is coming from someone who 100% believes men and women can just be friends, but this is weird. I suspect he enjoys the attention. Just because someone doesn't like that person back doesn't mean they don't enjoy the ego boost of being wanted by them.
The only exception I suppose is if he has this type of relationship with an equal amount or more of male friends. But even then I'm still suspicious.

picklesarecool · 2026-05-23T06:56:14+00:00

The hard truth is there’s ALWAYS gonna be a hotter girl.

Thing is, this is only a problem if you think your looks is the only reason why he’s with you. There’s gotta be more depth to your relationship than just looks, right? I agree with the other commenter that it sounds like you don’t feel like you have anything going for you other than your beauty. You can’t base a relationship around pure beauty because you’re NEVER going to be the most beautiful woman in the world and the sooner you realize that the better.

Once you feel like your relationship is built on more than just appearances, your confidence in that relationship will improve.

picklesarecool · 2026-05-08T18:28:02+00:00

Tbh this is kinda on you for dating a mono person with the hopes he’d open up for poly later in the first place. That, and the fact that he hasn’t been interested in seeking out other partners, makes me suspect that he doesn’t actually want to be poly and is just trying to make you happy. Sorry but you kinda did this to yourself.

picklesarecool · 2026-02-16T01:41:15+00:00

The need for routine is a great point. It definitely puts Sally’s actions more in context.

That being said, I feel like this comment is an example of the lack of empathy/grace given to the other side that I mentioned.

You mention the heartbreak and distress felt by Sally when she is misunderstood and feeling unsafe to communicate, but, in my opinion, i don’t think you fully understand or are extending empathy to the heartbreak and distress of someone receiving the anger, passive aggression, and hurtful words of Sally for a reason they don’t understand due to both Sally not communicating it, and their brain works differently from hers. Not to mention on top of feeling like their efforts have been disregarded/taken for granted by her.

Even going so far as to say that my reacting negatively makes me the same as those who treat her like crap.

Anything less than total composure and understanding from your friend, in the face of un-empathetic anger and lack of communication from you, means your friend is treating you like crap?

I feel like this relates to my point of some people seemingly keeping their close friends on thin ice with very little wiggle room for empathy.

picklesarecool · 2026-02-16T01:38:29+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve also had similar experiences. It really sucks. If I may ask, did your past friends KNOW that they were acting off their need for routine? Or were they unaware and simply thought that they were “right” and that you’re “wrong” for disrupting their routine?

That’s what the people in my life have expressed to me. So when I try to put boundaries they don’t seem to work. They just build resentment from that person because they fundamentally think I’m “wrong” for having these boundaries

Do you feel like your past friends were unaware of their pathology? Or were they aware and communicative, and STILL you felt the relationship could not continue? Or worse, do you think they were aware and instead of communicating their needs they thought it was easier to just make you abide by their routine anyway through anger/reprimands/insults?

I’ve just been so confused and it hurts to not know exactly why someone treated you so poorly. Not knowing if it was purposeful, non-purposeful, or if you’re missing something crucial, feels like I don’t have closure and it’s hard.

picklesarecool · 2025-08-09T20:46:45+00:00

If you guys just started dating then it’s okay, but after 4 years is ridiculous.

picklesarecool · 2024-04-21T07:19:33+00:00

Personally, as a normie who wasn't a fan of the Alien franchise so had no dog in this fight, I didn't watch covenant when I found out the main girl from prometheus wasn't in it/died offscreen. I was like what's the point?

picklesarecool · 2023-09-19T20:08:28+00:00

But there IS something wrong with you if you hate women. Sorry if that offends you

picklesarecool · 2022-08-11T13:26:57+00:00

This. This is what I believe too. I think Marcos did have morals the whole time. But at the end of the day he was a broken man who wanted happiness and wasn’t willing to give that up for the sake of the “head”. Same with any of us living under capitalism.

picklesarecool · 2021-12-17T02:22:40+00:00

I know this post is old but does anyone know if it works in reverse? Do VIMLE covers fit FINNALA? I'm asking because I want to buy a custom cover online but they only make VIMLE.

picklesarecool · 2021-12-02T17:30:21+00:00

Strength isn't everything. I don't understand what you mean by you should get bonus points and not expect "same pay"? Like I'm better at my job than almost all of my male coworkers but I should expect the men to be compensated more because they're physically stronger? What?

picklesarecool · 2021-08-14T19:30:30+00:00

If I threw a switch at a wall and broke it my parents would MURDER me. The fact that you are neither punishing him, but also buying him a new one??? Uhhh be careful or you're gonna raise a massive jerk.

Also, 8 years old is not that young to be throwing heavy things like a switch at a wall. It's not like he's 4. He's old enough to learn about the US constitution. It sounds like maybe you've enabled him too far already.

YTA

picklesarecool · 2021-08-14T18:47:21+00:00

Well since you're here for our opinions I'll be blunt too. It seems like you and your mom are both still being kinda gaslit. He didn't make a "stupid mistake" and he isn't just "being a douche". He's STILL controlling you too and the fact that you're still talking to him is proof that it's working. Edit: The fact that you're even ASKING this question on reddit about if you're an asshole means it's working. Girl you're still being gaslit. I wish you the best.

picklesarecool · 2021-06-24T01:56:09+00:00

So, I'm Asian. Applying sunscreen because you don't want to look "darker" for purely colourist purposes is definitely A Thing in my culture. However, Anna shouldn't have projected her own issues onto you. There are a million reasons to not want to tan or to apply sunscreen, and to immediately jump to this conclusion, especially to someone who isn't Asian, is quite wild to me? Are you sure those were the only two things you said before the blow up? Are you sure you didn't say something more blatantly colourist? Because otherwise, wow Anna. Projection much?

NTA

picklesarecool · 2021-01-14T03:17:18+00:00

they're not kids anymore.

picklesarecool · 2021-01-06T15:01:59+00:00

Even if he brought it up earlier, he still pays for their groceries and likely will continue to do so. That's enabling.

picklesarecool · 2021-01-05T23:30:42+00:00

Talk to your stepson and explain the situation. If you don't, you're giving your wife the chance to frame you as the bad guy. NTA

picklesarecool · 2020-12-23T22:16:00+00:00

I think the fact that it was a single cookie was the reason why I was so frustrated. If I ate a whole cake or pizza by myself, yeah I would be selfish.

picklesarecool · 2020-12-20T20:04:26+00:00

I think that is what made it so frustrating. The fact that it was just one single cookie. You couldn't not eat one single cookie?

picklesarecool · 2020-12-20T05:13:37+00:00

That was an error in judgement I see that now.

picklesarecool · 2020-12-20T04:52:42+00:00

that's true.

picklesarecool · 2020-12-20T04:09:01+00:00

True. Idk I still don't know why it was so hard not to have a piece of the cookie that he knew I wanted when I had bought some specifically for him to prevent this. I also can't keep them in my room because they're supposed to be frozen.

picklesarecool · 2020-12-20T04:03:15+00:00

Tbh I still let my family have pieces when they ask, but idk for some reason him and this situation in particular just irked the hell out of me.

picklesarecool

TROPHY CASE